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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 8:45 pm
Your family is going through a phase where having staying home mother would be very beneficial.

In my case, we need my income in order to match our expenses. If I take a leave from work we'd probably be around $40,000 short a year, but we do have a lot of fluid income so it could be a lot less. However on the flip side we do have a very significant amount of savings, upwards of $400,000. And we own a house already.

What do you think about temporarily living in the red on some level?
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amother




Pewter
 

Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 8:48 pm
How easy is it to re enter the job market? Can you possibly take PFL ? So your job is secure and you still have some income? By own your house you don’t mean own outright do you? Like no mortgage at all?
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amother




Banana
 

Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 8:49 pm
Ofcourse !!
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amother




Denim
 

Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 8:51 pm
Can you take a leave of absence for a few months?
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 9:28 pm
amother [ Pewter ] wrote:
How easy is it to re enter the job market? Can you possibly take PFL ? So your job is secure and you still have some income? By own your house you don’t mean own outright do you? Like no mortgage at all?


Yes we have a mortgage. But that's included in our expenses. I was trying to say that our savings are not designated for a down payment.

To answer both posters, yes I can easily re-enter the market / take a leave of absence. Although not sure I'd want to come back to the exact job. But I'm not burning bridges by taking a break.
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 9:31 pm
Yes I would.
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helpful




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 9:32 pm
There are so many factors involved...

Do you enjoy your job?
Would you feel satisfied even when you're not working?
Would you be bored if you don't work?
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gande




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 9:35 pm
definity would. Family first.
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 9:46 pm
helpful wrote:
There are so many factors involved...

Do you enjoy your job?
Would you feel satisfied even when you're not working?
Would you be bored if you don't work?


Working has always been a very stressful part of my life. I am not concerned about these factors especially since I can always get a job if circumstances change.

I come from a poor family so the idea of spending more than we're making gives me anxiety. We have a big cushion but it's not the sort that is easily replenished so I worry about using it up/ not having what we need when the kids are getting married etc etc. I posted my question to see if you ladies think that our cushion is large enough to feel comfortable dipping in temporarily.

We are unlikely to be in the position to put away any significant sum over the next 15 years, especially if I work as minimally as I can.
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amother




Dill
 

Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 9:50 pm
Take off 6 months and reevaluate then. See if you can find a way to work part time, so you bring in some income and don't feel so panicky.
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helpful




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 9:52 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Working has always been a very stressful part of my life. I am not concerned about these factors especially since I can always get a job if circumstances change.

I come from a poor family so the idea of spending more than we're making gives me anxiety. We have a big cushion but it's not the sort that is easily replenished so I worry about using it up/ not having what we need when the kids are getting married etc etc. I posted my question to see if you ladies think that our cushion is large enough to feel comfortable dipping in temporarily.

We are unlikely to be in the position to put away any significant sum over the next 15 years, especially if I work as minimally as I can.


How about taking a few months off and then going back to work part time?
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 9:52 pm
amother [ Dill ] wrote:
Take off 6 months and reevaluate then. See if you can find a way to work part time, so you bring in some income and don't feel so panicky.


I like that idea. Thanks!
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Jul 20 2021, 9:56 pm
helpful wrote:
How about taking a few months off and then going back to work part time?


Thank you, very similar idea to another poster. I think I'm going to do something like that.

It's the anxious part of me that wants reassurance that I won't be very poor one day because I dipped into savings when I could've been working. The mind can be so cruel sometimes...
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amother




Ultramarine
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 1:03 am
Can you invest that money and live off the proceeds?
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amother




Jean
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 1:10 am
amother [ Dill ] wrote:
Take off 6 months and reevaluate then. See if you can find a way to work part time, so you bring in some income and don't feel so panicky.

Who is the person behind this voice of reason? I need a sensible person like you in my life. Seriously.
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amother




Eggshell
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 1:16 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thank you, very similar idea to another poster. I think I'm going to do something like that.

It's the anxious part of me that wants reassurance that I won't be very poor one day because I dipped into savings when I could've been working. The mind can be so cruel sometimes...

I get it. I also live with the fear of making decisions that are irreversible (especially decisions which I'm already not sure about and can blame myself for).
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amother




Wheat
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 1:17 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Your family is going through a phase where having staying home mother would be very beneficial.

In my case, we need my income in order to match our expenses. If I take a leave from work we'd probably be around $40,000 short a year, but we do have a lot of fluid income so it could be a lot less. However on the flip side we do have a very significant amount of savings, upwards of $400,000. And we own a house already.

What do you think about temporarily living in the red on some level?


if you have 400K how is that living in the red?
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amother




Pewter
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 6:53 am
amother [ Wheat ] wrote:
if you have 400K how is that living in the red?


She means living off and thereby depleting her savings
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amother




Orange
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 7:03 am
I have not worked at times with almost no savings. When I felt it was best for our family. I get it, anxiety is a real thing, but I’ve learned that these things are so completely up to God, so I don’t interfere much. There were times when we could barely afford groceries. Fast forward ten years later, I have a good career and my husband has a good job, but we don’t have much savings. Who knows what will be in ten years? I don’t stress. Hashem Yaazor, I’ve seen it so clearly. I don’t believe a mother abandoning her family’s needs (which it sounds like right now is for you to stay at home) is the required hishtadlus. Is your husband working? If yes, that is enough for Hashem to send what you’re supposed to have right now. When you feel ready to go back to work, great, you’ll join in the hishtadlus. No old person looks back on their life and regrets not working enough. But they might regret not being there for their family.
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amother




Magenta
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 7:11 am
OP, I used to be a teacher and I hated it. I noticed that I looked forward to summer because of the time off. Once we got a few weeks into summer I'd get very stressed out about the idea of having to go back to school in a few weeks. I realize I should have just enjoyed the time off in the summer but I couldn't because I had anxiety about restarting work.

Everyone is different and maybe your experience would be different but just consider how you'd feel now if you'd been off for a few months and got used to it and now you needed to start working again.

Hatslacha no matter what you decide!
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