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Would you stop working if
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 7:12 am
Don't forget, when you're doing your calculations, to include the long term potential financial factor of your continuing to work.

Let's imagine that the issue is a couple of children who suffered something traumatic, and need more mommy time to recover their sense of trust and security.

Without a parent takinging the time off at home, they may need expensive therapies, have issues requiring potentially expensive changes in schools, have a longer, harder, and more expensive time with shidduchim, etc.

Those costs need to get factored into the potential cost benefit calculations.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 7:29 am
amother [ Ultramarine ] wrote:
Can you invest that money and live off the proceeds?


We do invest and use some of the interest. That's the fluid income I was referring to.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 7:31 am
amother [ Orange ] wrote:
I have not worked at times with almost no savings. When I felt it was best for our family. I get it, anxiety is a real thing, but I’ve learned that these things are so completely up to God, so I don’t interfere much. There were times when we could barely afford groceries. Fast forward ten years later, I have a good career and my husband has a good job, but we don’t have much savings. Who knows what will be in ten years? I don’t stress. Hashem Yaazor, I’ve seen it so clearly. I don’t believe a mother abandoning her family’s needs (which it sounds like right now is for you to stay at home) is the required hishtadlus. Is your husband working? If yes, that is enough for Hashem to send what you’re supposed to have right now. When you feel ready to go back to work, great, you’ll join in the hishtadlus. No old person looks back on their life and regrets not working enough. But they might regret not being there for their family.


I love this, thank you!!
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 7:32 am
imasinger wrote:
Don't forget, when you're doing your calculations, to include the long term potential financial factor of your continuing to work.

Let's imagine that the issue is a couple of children who suffered something traumatic, and need more mommy time to recover their sense of trust and security.

Without a parent takinging the time off at home, they may need expensive therapies, have issues requiring potentially expensive changes in schools, have a longer, harder, and more expensive time with shidduchim, etc.

Those costs need to get factored into the potential cost benefit calculations.


So wise. I am looking to stop for now because I realize that my family really needs me, and not the overworked, stressed version of me. Really true.
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amother




Cinnamon
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 8:24 am
What about your husband? What does he say? My husband would never be on board with the idea.
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amother




Gardenia
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 8:27 am
Why do you have 400k on the bank?

If you would invest with 5% return you could get back a decent amount per year.

We earn 8% and earn nice passive income with less money. Plus get initial money back every few years to reinvest and still get income. This is in real estate - investing in projects.
Talk to financial advisor. 400k can do a lot.
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saw50st8




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 9:27 am
I'm going to be a nasayer here. Living above your means can potentially spiral. What happens if your husband loses a job or gets sick?

What I would do is figure out what your break even cost is and try to find work to match that. Decide if you want to do that by cutting costs or matching your earnings. $400,000 sounds like a lot of money until you have unforseen life events. The job market may not match your needs when you want to return.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 9:43 am
amother [ Cinnamon ] wrote:
What about your husband? What does he say? My husband would never be on board with the idea.


My husband is pushing me to do it for now. But he grew up in a comfortable home so doesn't have anxiety regarding money.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 9:45 am
amother [ Gardenia ] wrote:
Why do you have 400k on the bank?

If you would invest with 5% return you could get back a decent amount per year.

We earn 8% and earn nice passive income with less money. Plus get initial money back every few years to reinvest and still get income. This is in real estate - investing in projects.
Talk to financial advisor. 400k can do a lot.


The money is invested and we get good returns. Very little is real liquid cash but a lot could be liquidated easily. Thanks for the advice.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 9:47 am
amother [ Eggshell ] wrote:
I get it. I also live with the fear of making decisions that are irreversible (especially decisions which I'm already not sure about and can blame myself for).


Thanks. Validating!
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amother




Gardenia
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 9:49 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The money is invested and we get good returns. Very little is real liquid cash but a lot could be liquidated easily. Thanks for the advice.


So are you 40,000 short before or after earnings from investments?
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 9:51 am
amother [ Gardenia ] wrote:
So are you 40,000 short before or after earnings from investments?


After. Although sometimes an investment does really well and we make a lot more than anticipated. This past year we well surpassed our expenses due to the crazy stock market, but that was in addition to me pulling in a nice salary.
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chatz




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 9:56 am
Having lived in the red, I do suggest you sit down and figure up to how much savings you're willing to use up. Not 400k. Maybe 40k? Put that in a separate account ideally. Divide by months. If you're saying 40k a year, that's a bit over 3k a month or 770 a week more than your husband's income.

Have solid numbers and a limit. See which expenses you can cut.

So even if you need to take off, keep the numbers solid and limited and know you're only going to dip into savings $x.
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amother




Valerian
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 10:04 am
Definitely!! 100% would family's my priority I'd much rather live with less and be there for my kids ... the anxiety of unknown will always be there but knowing you're doing your best for family is so rewarding...also much much more beneficial for your family long term...

Cutting costs to be able to stay at home has been something I still grapple with- there's always those people who ask what do you do? Curious how you're getting by....
but stick with supportive people..
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amother




Chocolate
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 3:21 pm
Just to chime in...

Someone told me she took summers off/partially off. Her husband would get so much additional work in the summer that her income was not needed. Then in the winter, when her work load would increase, she would find her H sitting at home on the couch.

Trust in Hashem, your money may come from else where!

Good luck with your decision!!!
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