How can you move if no mikvah?

amother

Cyclamen

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 2:23 pm

Where I live in Toms River there are people that officially walk with you to the closest Lakewood ones so that you don’t walk alone. Many people never go on Friday night because they simply can’t pull it off regardless of where they live. And plenty of people walk. And also your rav is not our rav...

amother

Cyclamen

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 2:25 pm

amother [ Yolk ] wrote:

Some people just don’t think before they move.

Is it necessary to spread lies for fun? Every person I know thought about it and it’s not as complicated as you all make it out to be.

amother

Yolk

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 2:27 pm

amother [ Cyclamen ] wrote:

Is it necessary to spread lies for fun? Every person I know thought about it and it’s not as complicated as you all make it out to be.

I’m not moving there because it’s not the right thing to do halachically. Looking into Toms River instead. Just because everyone is doing something doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong with it.

Mommyg8

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 2:27 pm

Librarian wrote:

complicated

Lol, welcome to frumspeak 2021. It drives me crazy as well.

amother

Cyclamen

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 2:34 pm

amother [ Yolk ] wrote:

I’m not moving there because it’s not the right thing to do halachically. Looking into Toms River instead. Just because everyone is doing something doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong with it.

Your assumption that no one asked their own rav is not ok.

amother

cornflower

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 2:36 pm

amother [ Cyclamen ] wrote:

Your assumption that no one asked their own rav is not ok.

And there are plenty rabbanim living in Jackson and Toms River.
One persons psak isn’t everyone’s.

amother

Aconite

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 2:37 pm

amother [ Iris ] wrote:

There is probably one a 15 minute drive during the week and you push off going Friday night. I live in NY with a mikvah just under a ten minute walk and I don't go Friday night its just too complicating.

Why is it complicated? Appreciate that you have one close by. I go a ton on Friday nights. Its an amazing feeling.

Ema of 5

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 2:42 pm

amother [ Yolk ] wrote:

I’m not moving there because it’s not the right thing to do halachically. Looking into Toms River instead. Just because everyone is doing something doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong with it.

It’s not the right thing for YOU. Others don’t hold the way you do. I never go Friday night. BH it hardly ever falls out that way (4 times in 15+ years) but if it does I would push it off.

Ema of 5

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 2:44 pm

amother [ Aconite ] wrote:

Why is it complicated? Appreciate that you have one close by. I go a ton on Friday nights. Its an amazing feeling.

What works for you doesn’t work for others. Why do you need to know WHY it’s complicated? She said it’s complicated, so she doesn’t go. The end.
Friday night is NOT an amazing feeling for me. It’s complicated for me, for numerous reasons, even though there is a Mikva a couple of blocks away. I haven’t had to go on Friday night in a very long time, but if it ever happens again I will push it off. It just doesn’t work for me or for us.

amother

Charcoal

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 3:53 pm

I never go Friday night. My rav holds you can go Friday afternoon and then wait until nightfall to touch etc.

amother

Burlywood

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 3:56 pm

amother [ Charcoal ] wrote:

I never go Friday night. My rav holds you can go Friday afternoon and then wait until nightfall to touch etc.

I do this too. I find it much easier.

Ema of 5

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 4:09 pm

amother [ Charcoal ] wrote:

I never go Friday night. My rav holds you can go Friday afternoon and then wait until nightfall to touch etc.

I’ve done this a couple of times, I didn’t realize it’s something that can be done on a regular basis. You learn something new every day!

amother

Khaki

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 4:25 pm

Ema of 4 wrote:

I’ve done this a couple of times, I didn’t realize it’s something that can be done on a regular basis. You learn something new every day!

Please ask your Rav before taking these heterim. We hold that it's not an option at all so please do check with a Rav

cnc

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 4:26 pm

amother [ Charcoal ] wrote:

I never go Friday night. My rav holds you can go Friday afternoon and then wait until nightfall to touch etc.

On the seventh day? Or the eighth day?

And which Mikvah opens for you to dip in the afternoon?

cnc

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 4:27 pm

amother [ Khaki ] wrote:

Please ask your Rav before taking these heterim. We hold that it's not an option at all so please do check with a Rav

This. I’ve heard of this heter in very rare cases

amother

Burlywood

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 4:32 pm

cnc wrote:

On the seventh day? Or the eighth day?

And which Mikvah opens for you to dip in the afternoon?

The seventh day. My rav who holds that this is acceptable oversees our local mikvah so you can make an appointment Friday afternoon to accommodate (we’re a small community, so appointments are always needed for the mikvah). I was actually surprised about this when we moved here, but we go by him and our community standards, so I go with it. It really is way more convenient, and means that I don’t push off the way I otherwise probably would.

Ema of 5

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 4:35 pm

amother [ Khaki ] wrote:

Please ask your Rav before taking these heterim. We hold that it's not an option at all so please do check with a Rav

I already said I’ve only ever done it with my ravs permission. I just meant it’s interesting to hear that there are those who hold this way as shita. I wouldn’t do it anyway, because it wouldn’t solve my Friday night issue.

amother

Strawberry

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 4:51 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

To all those who are moving to toms river and jackson, are you aware there's no mikvah there? I'm not a rebetzin but when I asked my rav if I could move there , he said the shulchan aruch doesn't let you move to a place with no mikvah. I know its close enough to lakewood but talking about shabbos.

Toms River has a Mikvah at the start of TR.
Living a 1 hour walk from the mikvah is not called moving to a place with no mikvah.

amother

Pearl

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 6:02 pm

Ema of 4 wrote:

I’ve done this a couple of times, I didn’t realize it’s something that can be done on a regular basis. You learn something new every day!

Not necessarily. Ask your own rabbi

Ema of 5

Fri, Jul 23 2021, 6:03 pm

amother [ Pearl ] wrote:

Not necessarily. Ask your own rabbi

I guess you didn’t read what I wrote…