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Notsobusy


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Mon, Jul 26 2021, 7:56 am
I'm so sorry op. This must be so painful and scary and frustrating. I don't understand how this can happen again every year. It's destroying the girls and their families. I really hope you get into a good school very quickly.
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watergirl


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Mon, Jul 26 2021, 8:09 am
amother [ Azure ] wrote: | Someone creative should figure something out.
A mix of extra curricular, a few no pressure lessons, a chance to learn responsibility, a time for fun in an appropriate environment….
There are other things in life that should be just as important as people think sitting in high school is.
It will take a great person to successfully break the trend. |
Girls (or boys) in high school is not a "trend", it is the LAW.
This is the age in which they can start to utilize higher level thinking skills (google it; this is literally not attainable at a younger age as the brain needs to be more matured to accomplish this). This is the age where they learn higher mathematics, english, and critical thinking, in addition to learning how to work in a group which is not to be underestimated. Not just that, but learning Torah at a higher level. Pressure is hard, but it is crucial. As we grow up, we have to be able to work in all sorts of situations and environments and there will be many which will have a lot of pressure and require all of the skills that one can only gain through attending high school. And of course, how would you expect a women who ended her formal education to support her husband if he choses to learn in kollel? Or to help support the family, considering most of the country requires a dual income to survive. Not to mention, we need to set our kids up for financial independence and never to depend just on their husband's income.
But I don't think OP is really asking what is the point of high school. She is in pain that it is almost August and she can't get a school for her daughter. As I understand it to be from this site and other things I've heard in real life, Lakewood has a real problem and if people insist on staying there despite these issues, and if people continue to flock there with these issues, they will not change. No city can keep up with this kind of inflating population at the speed in which it is growing.
OP, sending hugs to you and your daughter.
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lk1234


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Mon, Jul 26 2021, 8:25 am
OP - I totally understand you. The responses you are getting cannot fathom the Lakewood high school situation. I think you'd gain more from hearing from people that have been or are in your situation. I know many mothers are in the same situation as you. Hopefully they will chime in.
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Chayalle


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Mon, Jul 26 2021, 8:58 am
OP I'm so sorry for your pain and for the pain of your DD. I can't even fathom it. I totally agree something in the system is seriously messed up if innocent Bnos Yisrael are not being accommodated by the system. And I also understand the frustration when seemingly random people get into a school just like that, and you went there and they didn't take you.
In fact a relative of mine went thru something like this just last year. She went to a local high school at a time when they needed committed families and students, and her parents helped build up the school. Then her oldest gets to high school - a nice, smart, sweet girl, ok, maybe she isn't the next talented and noticeable upcoming public speaker, just a refined, nice girl...and they don't take her. (she ended up getting in the day before school started.) It really stung.
I want to ask you an honest question though. Are you hung up on getting into your alma matter, because everyone you know goes there, and you feel they should take you? I'm not saying that's not a reasonable want, but in this town....are there other reasonable options you could try, that you passed up because you insist you want this particular school, and if XYZ got in, why not you?
I know people who have gone thru that, and some end up getting in (like my relative above) and some do not and might deeply regret not trying something else. I have another relative a few years back who had her heart set on a particular school. She pushed and pulled all summer while her daughter got more and more miserable. In the end, they were lucky that someone pushed for them to get their DD into a different school that was actually a better fit for their daughter in some ways, but they had insisted on their "ideal" choice. Their DD B"H flourished in that high school, and to be honest, at this point their not sure why they wanted that dream school so badly. And why she had to suffer that whole summer - I'm pretty sure had they applied to this school to begin with, they would've gotten in. And they are lucky to have gotten in when they did - they could've ended up in a school that was not a good fit for their DD, in the desperate state they were in.
I'm really sorry for your pain and your DD's pain. I'll just end off saying what my high school teacher said to me when I didn't get into seminary (I ended up getting in on pending) - she told me I should never suffer a rejection again - shidduchim, etc....and I pass that on to you OP. You and your DD have done your fair share in this realm, may you never ever be turned down or passed over again, ever!
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Notsobusy


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Mon, Jul 26 2021, 9:21 am
Chayalle wrote: | OP I'm so sorry for your pain and for the pain of your DD. I can't even fathom it. I totally agree something in the system is seriously messed up if innocent Bnos Yisrael are not being accommodated by the system. And I also understand the frustration when seemingly random people get into a school just like that, and you went there and they didn't take you.
In fact a relative of mine went thru something like this just last year. She went to a local high school at a time when they needed committed families and students, and her parents helped build up the school. Then her oldest gets to high school - a nice, smart, sweet girl, ok, maybe she isn't the next talented and noticeable upcoming public speaker, just a refined, nice girl...and they don't take her. (she ended up getting in the day before school started.) It really stung.
I want to ask you an honest question though. Are you hung up on getting into your alma matter, because everyone you know goes there, and you feel they should take you? I'm not saying that's not a reasonable want, but in this town....are there other reasonable options you could try, that you passed up because you insist you want this particular school, and if XYZ got in, why not you?
I know people who have gone thru that, and some end up getting in (like my relative above) and some do not and might deeply regret not trying something else. I have another relative a few years back who had her heart set on a particular school. She pushed and pulled all summer while her daughter got more and more miserable. In the end, they were lucky that someone pushed for them to get their DD into a different school that was actually a better fit for their daughter in some ways, but they had insisted on their "ideal" choice. Their DD B"H flourished in that high school, and to be honest, at this point their not sure why they wanted that dream school so badly. And why she had to suffer that whole summer - I'm pretty sure had they applied to this school to begin with, they would've gotten in. And they are lucky to have gotten in when they did - they could've ended up in a school that was not a good fit for their DD, in the desperate state they were in.
I'm really sorry for your pain and your DD's pain. I'll just end off saying what my high school teacher said to me when I didn't get into seminary (I ended up getting in on pending) - she told me I should never suffer a rejection again - shidduchim, etc....and I pass that on to you OP. You and your DD have done your fair share in this realm, may you never ever be turned down or passed over again, ever! |
I think this might have been the one school where they thought they had pull. And so they pinned their hopes on this school only to find that they wouldn't even accept them. We did that once. And that's even more painful than if a random school won't accept you.
Op, it's so painful and unfair. I wish there was a way we could be part of the solution, but I can't imagine what it would be.
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gootlfriends


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Mon, Jul 26 2021, 10:04 am
This is not limited to Lakewood. Its almost everywhere that's a typical Jewish community. They don't feel its their responsibility to take every girl because there are other options. I wouldn't beg any high school to take my child. It might not be the best place for your child since they don't seem to value Jewish education the way they should. And yes, there are not enough schools. Right now my girls are in different schools and I prefer the "second option". They took us because we are orthodox and wanted a bais yaakov education. Plain and simple. And yes, I do think high school as it is currently designed is over rated. Ask most people, they will tell you they don't think they gained much from it.
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sky


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Mon, Jul 26 2021, 10:07 am
Notsobusy wrote: | I think this might have been the one school where they thought they had pull. And so they pinned their hopes on this school only to find that they wouldn't even accept them. We did that once. And that's even more painful than if a random school won't accept you.
Op, it's so painful and unfair. I wish there was a way we could be part of the solution, but I can't imagine what it would be. |
We had this too. But elementary age. My dd has no clue.
It is so much harder for high school girls.
One of my neighbors is old lakewood yeshivish family. He was sure his kid would get in high school eventually with family connections. Even he is starting to sweat at this point…
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