What’s the point of high school (girls)

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Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries

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amother

Bone

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 8:50 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Exactly. And yet amother Molasses jumped to proclaim how horrible Lakewood is, and how far away she'd stay.

The problem seems to be very bad in Lakewood though. Every year we have these posts.

amother

Bone

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 8:51 pm

small bean wrote:

Of course. Me included. I have no intention of sending my daughter out of town.

Is Lakewood to Elizabeth considered OOT?

keym

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 8:54 pm

amother [ Bone ] wrote:

The problem seems to be very bad in Lakewood though. Every year we have these posts.

And yet we have hundreds of not thousands of families a year swarming to Lakewood, despite knowing that the problem is huge.
Everyone is hoping that they will solve it.

amother

Peru

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 8:54 pm

I probably don't have the right to speak here, as my daughter was bh accepted for next year. Huge nissim. That being said, the word rn is that there will be 55 girls in her class. Can you fathom that?!? Does not anyone understand that the growth in this town is unsustainable??

Blaming and calling schools irresponsible is unfair. Do they use the dynamic to their advantage? Definitely. Is it always fair? No! But isn't that what happens in any freemarket? When demand outweighs supply to an extreme? The suppliers are left with the choices. How would you go about choosing 10 or 20 girls from a pool of 500? I haven't a clue how my daughter was so lucky. By the grace of g-d.

And "they" should open more schools? Who is they? The thousands of people moving from Brooklyn? Haven't seen them open even one !! Anyone offering to bankroll? Give up their life to deal with all the headaches running a school comes with?

Can we just be real. The crux of the issue is space. And all the sadness and pain that comes from it is horrific. But it all comes from one Place. Lack. Of. Space. No one who doesn't live in Lakewood can fathom the explosive, ridiculous growth this city has undergone. there is no model of such a community anywhere. And no, this would never get so personal and painful if space wasn't an issue. Not that people are inherently mean or spiteful. But there is a very painful situation. And no easy solution.
I'm sorry to all you mothers. I daven every day this pain should end quickly and well.

End rant

amother

Wine

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 9:09 pm

amother [ Bone ] wrote:

The problem seems to be very bad in Lakewood though. Every year we have these posts.

And over covid more families then ever have moved to lakewood.
Toms River was empty 5 years ago. No one lived in Manchester. Both have grown. Toms River has so many shuls at this point. And all of their children are expected to be squeezed into lakewood schools.
It’s impossible.

amother

DarkCyan

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 9:32 pm

amother [ Wine ] wrote:

How has lakewood done this to themselves?

1000s of families from outside lakewood move here yearly. I have friends who live in Florida snd they complain about 30 new families a year.

The streets are crowded. Real estate has become so expensive no one local can afford to buy. Families who started schools no longer get in.
The lkwd community didn’t ask for this.
What other community opens a new high school every year with 50+ incoming students?
The situation is out of control.

Lakewood has done this, but not us regular folk. It’s the powers that be who let greed guide them and allowed ridiculous never ending development that we don’t have the infrastructure for. I’ve lived here all my life and we were complaining about the building 20 years ago. Yet it’s just more and more and more. It’s true many people are moving into the towns surrounding Lakewood now, but I believe the true unsustainable growth is from the ridiculous amount of housing. It’s just about how many houses you can squeeze onto a small amount of land. (At least the chassidim moving in aren’t really contributing to this specific school issue as they open their own schools.) I do think that old timers should absolutely have priority and it’s terrible that we don’t. I don’t want to get into specifics for fear of outing myself, but if I could tell you what I and family members had to go through, when we practically built these schools from the ground up. No one cares. Yes it’s a matter of space, but somehow some newcomers manage to get into school before those of us who’ve always lived here. People say, why live in Lakewood. Because our whole lives and families have always been here. So now I have to move because the new people pushed us out?

amother

DarkCyan

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 9:34 pm

Re Bruria, it’s a great choice for those who fit in. I have friends who send there. Their daughters have boyfriends. That’s fine if that’s what you want, this isn’t about being judgmental about MO, but I don’t see why a regular BY girl who doesn’t hang out with boys, should be placed in an environment where that is the norm.

amother

White

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 9:55 pm

As a population we Jews are really growing. We were almost wiped out not too long and thank god for the tremendous growth. At the end of the day lakewood area makes sense for certain type of people. I don't think it's fair to say since someone ended up elsewhere they must stay where they are. People are moving because it's a great thriving community, it is ( was ) affordable, and the abundance of jewish everything makes life really easy. There is no reason more schools aren't opening. And part of it is because certain powers still block it. I always said a more modern school should open in toms river, there is a need for it so why not. But I'm sure it will be attacked by some people and they might force it to close. There are solutions. And there are blocks to those solutions. But being upset that people who belong in the community are moving in doesn't make sense.

amother

Eggshell

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 10:07 pm

Notsobusy wrote:

Im so sorry. Do you have anyone helping you? Are the self contained classes an option for her?

Like Mekor HaChinuch? I don’t know. I’m looking into it. I don’t have anyone helping me and I’m very stressed about it.

amother

Eggshell

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 10:10 pm

amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:

Coming from the MO world I can never understand the Lakewood phenomenon of people not getting into schools. My DH works in admissions in a boys high school and at the end of admissions season all of the community schools get together and discuss all of the boys who didn't get into a School. They then all have to take some of the boys who didn't get in until every local boy has a school as the Rabbanim in the community have said that we cant just leave local kids without a school. Why can't Lakewood do something similar?

Last year the BMG Roshei yeshiva wouldn’t let the BY high schools start until every girl had a place. They do try. And they have a vaad to help with primary and high school admissions.

amother

Eggshell

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 10:12 pm

amother [ Peru ] wrote:

And the original Lakewood families- Jews and nonJews alike, bitterly resent the explosive growth. The nonJews are particularly venemous about it. I hear about it roughly a million times a month at work.

Mommyg8

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 10:17 pm

amother [ Eggshell ] wrote:

Last year the BMG Roshei yeshiva wouldn’t let the BY high schools start until every girl had a place. They do try. And they have a vaad to help with primary and high school admissions.

But that's just a bandaid. There has never been enough room for all our girls - I'm living here over 20 years and it's always been this way as far back as I can remember. And instead of squishing 30+ girls into a classroom, they're now squishing 50+.

What is the problem? Is it money? Is it that women don't want to open schools? What is it?

Last edited by Mommyg8 on Mon, Jul 26 2021, 10:27 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Bone

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 10:25 pm

amother [ DarkCyan ] wrote:

I went to Bruriah. Having a boyfriend there is the exception, not the rule.

amother

Wine

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 10:30 pm

Mommyg8 wrote:

Don’t schools open almost every year?
If it was lkwd kids I think it would be ok. But hundreds and thousands of new kids is impossible.
I just think growth like this is crazy.
I’m not telling ppl not to move.
I’m saying ppl should be taking responsibility.
If you are moving from ny why can’t you open a school in Toms River ? What type of power do ppl have over you if you have no community affiliation?
It sounds like lots of excuses.

amother

DarkCyan

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 10:32 pm

amother [ Bone ] wrote:

I went to Bruriah. Having a boyfriend there is the exception, not the rule.

How long ago did you go?

amother

Bone

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 10:50 pm

amother [ DarkCyan ] wrote:

How long ago did you go?

More than 10 years but I know plenty of girls still there.

amother

DarkCyan

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 10:54 pm

amother [ Bone ] wrote:

More than 10 years but I know plenty of girls still there.

Ok, what can I say, this is what I see. In BY schools if a girl hangs out with boys she better hide it. The Bruria girls post pics on Instagram. It’s just a different scene and I don’t think that a BY girl from Lakewood should go there just because she didn’t get into school here.

Notsobusy

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 10:54 pm

amother [ Eggshell ] wrote:

Like Mekor HaChinuch? I don’t know. I’m looking into it. I don’t have anyone helping me and I’m very stressed about it.

I'm so sorry, I wish I could help but I really dont know much. I just know that my dds school has some self contained classes. I hope you can find some guidance. Maybe Ziva Kriegers organization can help. Or does Nesivos help with that age kids?

small bean

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 11:37 pm

amother [ Peru ] wrote:

I totally agree. Every issue stems from lack of space. A lot of what goes on, can only go on because of lack of space.

small bean

Mon, Jul 26 2021, 11:51 pm

amother [ Bone ] wrote:

Is Lakewood to Elizabeth considered OOT?

Yes. Anything outside of Lakewood.

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