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Eating with nonkosher people
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Poll

Would you react if someone at your table ate tref
I wouldn't care; it's none of my business what s/o else eats  
 41%  [ 78 ]
I'd be vaguely uncomfortable but wouldn't say anything  
 24%  [ 46 ]
I'd be vaguely or very uncomfortable and would say something  
 1%  [ 2 ]
I would be revolted and leave the table  
 3%  [ 7 ]
I'd be bothered only if it was a Jewish colleague  
 28%  [ 53 ]
Total Votes : 186


amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 4:31 pm
How would you feel/react if you and a nonobservant colleague were sharing a table, eating your respective lunches in the break room and your coworker, who knows you keep kosher, had something glaringly tref like bologna and cheese?
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andrea levy




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 4:32 pm
Don’t care at all. I’m responsible for me alone.
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amother




Starflower
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 4:35 pm
It's really unrealistic to expect others to observe kashrus laws because you are around.
Do you realize what a minority of a minority Orthodox Jews are, statistically? It may be hard to realize it fully when we tend to live surrounded by others just like us, but really we are such a tiny amount of the population.

Additionally. If I were diabetic I wouldn't expect others to refrain from sugary items when I was around. Or whatever dietary needs.
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icebreaker




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 4:39 pm
I do this all the time. My coworkers are not Jewish and one is not observant. We all eat our food in peace and go back to work. We have a short enough lunch break as it is. I’m not wasting it trying to get someone to not eat something they want to.
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BrisketBoss




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 4:43 pm
I'm a BT so I'm pretty desensitized. I frummed out before college and I had a Jewish friend who used to apologize for eating not kosher at my table, and likewise friends who would apologize for eating meat around a vegetarian. Who cares? We didn't want an apology. We were secure in our choices and preferred for others to show security in their choices as well (not apologizing, not teasing, etc.).
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 4:44 pm
I'd be bothered if it was a Jew, but only in the way that I'd be just as bothered if they were eating it at their desk. No reason anything should change in the break room at my table.
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WaterKissed




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 4:44 pm
I think there are halachos with that. If there is treif food on the same table your plate needs to have something beneath it. I remember learning that once.
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Blessing1




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 4:46 pm
I've had this scenario countless times already. I never thought it may be an issue.
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Ema of 4




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 4:48 pm
I wouldn’t care. I might be sad if it was a Jew, but I wouldn’t say anything.
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amother




Zinnia
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 4:49 pm
It makes me sad.

I have aJewish co worker I’m close with.
I’m sad if he emails me on Shabbos.
I’m sad if if eats trief.
But there is nothing to do.
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Chickensoupprof




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 4:51 pm
I’m the only one in my whole family who is frum. My grandma wants to be cremated, my mom eats treif my brother too what can I do? I’m not trying to evangelise them. It’s just part of life l, not every Jew Is frum
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BatyaEsther




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 4:52 pm
That’s what placemats are for.
You can’t control other people.

If you are uncomfortable, eat when nobody else is eating or eat at your own desk or in your car.
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 5:07 pm
If the person in question was Jewish, then I would feel bad about it (how could I not feel sad seeing a Jew not keep a mitzvah?), but I wouldn't say anything.

If he were a non-Jew, I wouldn't care at all.




Edited to correct a typo


Last edited by DrMom on Wed, Jul 28 2021, 11:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Pewter
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 5:10 pm
My closest coworker is Indian. She usually has broccoli for lunch. Usually we eat at our desks.
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Frumme




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 5:15 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
How would you feel/react if you and a nonobservant colleague were sharing a table, eating your respective lunches in the break room and your coworker, who knows you keep kosher, had something glaringly tref like bologna and cheese?


Better to not say anything, once they know it's an issue then they are chayev vs if they don't know. And some Jews really do not know anything about kosher.

If you want, you can be dan l'kaf zechus that it's kosher cheese and vegan bologna. It's not your business unless they ask you about it (and even then, you can explain simply & generally without evangelizing)
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amother




Narcissus
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 5:42 pm
If I wasn’t frum and an Orthodox person tried to control what I eat, I’d probably eat ham and cheese every day out of spite. Seriously, why bother caring what other people eat? Worry about yourself.
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SixOfWands




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 5:48 pm
Why would you expect someone who doesn't keep kosher to change her eating habits simply because you're around?

I'm taken aback, for half a second, when Jews talk about eating pork, or shellfish. There's a Jewish food group on Facebook, and people were posting photos of the "Jewish food" they were eating - big corned beef sandwiches and the like -- on Tisha B'Av. There's a little cognitive dissonance for a second, but then I remember, not my business.
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amother




Moonstone
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 5:59 pm
Not my business.
I work at a school with OTD kids.
I’m sad but would never say anything or comment.
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finprof




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Jul 28 2021, 7:19 pm
To cite a phrase that is getting lots of play right now, "my body my choice." The same goes for everyone else!
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moonstone




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jul 29 2021, 2:50 am
amother [ Narcissus ] wrote:
If I wasn’t frum and an Orthodox person tried to control what I eat, I’d probably eat ham and cheese every day out of spite. Seriously, why bother caring what other people eat? Worry about yourself.


With a milkshake! 😂 Yeah, here we just say "Be'tayavon!"
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