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Eating with nonkosher people
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Poll

Would you react if someone at your table ate tref
I wouldn't care; it's none of my business what s/o else eats  
 41%  [ 78 ]
I'd be vaguely uncomfortable but wouldn't say anything  
 24%  [ 46 ]
I'd be vaguely or very uncomfortable and would say something  
 1%  [ 2 ]
I would be revolted and leave the table  
 3%  [ 7 ]
I'd be bothered only if it was a Jewish colleague  
 28%  [ 53 ]
Total Votes : 186


liveandlove.ima




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jul 29 2021, 12:00 am
https://www.aish.com/atr/Milk-......html
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jul 29 2021, 7:16 am
I had a not-yet-frum coworker who told me he will never become frum because he can't give up his cheeseburgers. He would sit in his office cubicle across from mine eating treif and telling me about it. I just shrugged and did my own thing.

Maybe one day his beautiful daughters will be frum. His brother became a BT, his wife covers her hair, etc....so you never know. All we can do as frum Jews is daven for these people, and portray a positive image, no chillul Hashem.
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amother




Ultramarine
 

Post Thu, Jul 29 2021, 7:48 am
BrisketBoss wrote:
I'm a BT so I'm pretty desensitized. I frummed out before college and I had a Jewish friend who used to apologize for eating not kosher at my table, and likewise friends who would apologize for eating meat around a vegetarian. Who cares? We didn't want an apology. We were secure in our choices and preferred for others to show security in their choices as well (not apologizing, not teasing, etc.).


It's funny that you mention the vegetarian thing because as a vegetarian I'm generally fine when people eat meat around me, unless it's something like particularly smelly or messy I'll be a little put off.
Similarly, I absolutely hate the smell of bacon and if someone were eating it near me I would probably stop eating and/or move. (But obviously never say anything!)
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jul 29 2021, 7:53 am
Btw.... All ppl are nonkosher as we don't chew our cuds or have split hooves.
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kenz




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jul 29 2021, 8:00 am
singleagain wrote:
Btw.... All ppl are nonkosher as we don't chew our cuds or have split hooves.

I was waiting for someone to respond like this. đź‘Ť
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chanchy123




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jul 29 2021, 9:39 am
I voted vaguely uncomfortable but wouldn’t say a word, however it’s more than vaguely uncomfortable but I never said a word.
Before corona when I worked in the office one of my colleagues would add parmesan cheese to every ground beef meal he had, would occasionally get pizza with pepperoni etc.
I never said anything but was uneasy eating at the same table, and at a certain point I stopped and started eating at my desk. But I would sit and talk while others were eating.
I stopped using the microwave in the office (with a double wrap) after a colleague used it to heat up a plate of seafood takeout.
I was very uncomfortable when my colleague ate her granola at the common table on Pesach (I’m sure she would have been more considerate had she thought about it).
This is Israel, they’re Jews, I don’t think it would have bothered me if they weren’t Jewish.
It’s not about being revolted as much as very uncomfortable with someone committing an aveira in front of my eyes. But they are secular there is nothing I could say that wouldn’t create antagonism. When they wanted to hear about Yiddishkeit they asked and I was able to put it in positive light.
ETA
Our vegan colleague always ate at his desk, I’m assuming it is because he was uncomfortable with ear everyone else was eating, but he is not the proselytizing kind of vegan he never said anything to people about what they were eating but I know it bothers him that other people eat animal products.
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Hashem_n_Farfel




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jul 29 2021, 9:49 am
WaterKissed wrote:
I think there are halachos with that. If there is treif food on the same table your plate needs to have something beneath it. I remember learning that once.


Yeah. It’s a thing. I can’t remember where I read it.
If eating at a trief table you gotta have a separation between your food and the table.

When we were in AZ visiting my family we brought our food they brought theirs. We put placemats under our trays lol. But I rinsed them first though cuz it could’ve been used and I didn’t want to treif up our good food.
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amother




Bronze
 

Post Thu, Jul 29 2021, 10:49 am
My mother in laws aids eat treif obviously. In our house. Need to make sure they use plastic, careful what they put down where. Besides for the headache I don't care.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jul 29 2021, 6:01 pm
I feel the same as I feel when I see a frum woman with a ton of hair showing in the front, and a skirt that barely covers her knees if she's standing perfectly still.

I feel a bit sad, but I would never in a million years say anything. You don't ever know where people are holding, what their struggles are, and what journey they are on.

For example, it got a taxi ride the other day. I got in and the car reeked of stale cigarette smoke. The driver was a young guy in shorts and a t-shirt, no kippa. BUT, he was listening to Chassidic shiurim on his CD player, and when he handed back my change he held his hand a good 10 inches above mine. I had to cup my hands together to catch the coins!

Israel is full of taxi drivers who are "frum but not frum". So like I said, you just never know what's going on with people.

Besides, I eat parve "beef" products with real dairy, and parve "dairy" with real meat. It reminds me of foods I ate when I was growing up. People tell me "Uch, why do you want your food to look treif?" For me, I just like the taste. If you think it's maris ayin, you can always ask me about it nicely.
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