8 yo is a gem one on one, a terror with his brother

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children

View latest: 24h 48h 72h



Post Fri, Jul 30 2021, 9:55 am
My 8 yo is a gem one on one, or even with his baby sister. When it’s just him or just him and the baby, he is darling, helpful, thoughtful, considerate, interested in spending time with me and cooking in the kitchen etc- I genuinely enjoy his company. But when he is with his younger brother (age 4) all h e l l breaks loose. 4 yo idolizes him and they do have some great times together but 4 yo also triggers him and bothers him- hitting or pinching him, teasing him etc- which drives my 8 yo nuts and he turns into a monster. He overreacts which he in turn gets me and my husband angry at him and it becomes an unbearable atmosphere.

This morning he and ds 4 got into it, they were wild and calling eo names and fighting, so they each got a consequence. Ds 8 went ballistic at his consequence (no screen time today), and chose to stay home from day camp and miss the end of color war Crying
I let him make that decision out of respect for his boundaries, although I do feel sad because he may regret it. I feel sad it came to this point. But honestly he does seem happier now that ds 4 is in school and he’s home with the baby. He’s chill, riding his bike, playing with the baby, in a much calmer mood. Maybe he’s an introvert like me. Or maybe he needs to learn how to control his temper (like me and dh). How can I help him/us improve the overall situation?
Back to top



Post Fri, Jul 30 2021, 1:42 pm
If he is an introvert, which is certainly a possibility, you may need to help him learn his boundaries. Talk to him about how you sometimes feel yourself getting overwhelmed by being around people so much and you need to take a break to recharge.

When playing with DS4, he may not realize when he's going past his limits. Maybe like toilet training, try asking him every 20 minutes if he's still okay or needs a break, or encourage a break every hour or two.

If DS4 is an extrovert, you may need to teach him to respect DS8's boundaries, and let him know that it's okay for his brother to take a break, and that he needs to leave him alone during that time.

Maybe even designate a space (refrigerator box, tent, closet) as an off-limits "base" for DS8 to have as his own.
Back to top
Recent Topics

Page 1 of 1 View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
One off holiday playgroup, how many would you take , alone??
by amother
10 Today at 9:58 am View last post
Affordable place to family for one night near Ferndale?
by amother
4 Yesterday at 12:17 pm View last post
Am I the only one who didnt discuss choson class with my son
by amother
25 Yesterday at 9:36 am View last post
Instant pot and air fryer together in one
by amother
3 Fri, Aug 05 2022, 4:31 pm View last post
Best One Day Trip OUT of Brooklyn
by amother
6 Sun, Jul 31 2022, 4:30 pm View last post