Moving - advice PLEASE

amother

Sun, Aug 01 2021, 11:39 am

I am more like just writing. I have no specific question.
It's more like general advice that I would love to hear.

I am moving now to a small out-of-town community.
My husband is from there.
My family lives far away.

I am extremely nervous about the move.
It's a totally totally different style than what I am used to.
Much smaller and much less advanced...
It's a totally different kind of life.

As it is, my marriage is not the strongest and best.
We are okay.
My husband is definitely not the easiest man out there.
He gets mad quickly, screams very easily etc.
(He watched his father act like that...)
He does have a good heart and doesn't intentionally do bad.

I am constantly stressed.
I try to not take things to heart.
But of course, I am human and do get hurt.

He is home a lot.
Hopefully, he will be busier and be out of the house more.

Basically, I am just worried about falling apart.
I will be living near my inlaws, away from anything and everything familiar to me,
together with a more complicated marriage.
My mother n law is nice. She really is.
But, I am not her daughter and I can imagine that I will get nervous from her and she will get nervous from me.
Not because she isn't nice but simply because we will be around each other a lot.
Too much for a mother n law daughter n law....

I don't plan on hanging out there but it is the ONLY family I have over there.

Any general advice for me?
I greatly appreciate it.

torquoise

Sun, Aug 01 2021, 1:23 pm

Wow that's hard
Hatzlacha
It sounds like a lot of sacrifices on your end - What made you decide to move there?
I would say create very strong ways of keeping in touch with family and friends. Maybe schedule times that you will go back and visit, so you'll have what to look forward to. Figure out the easiest way to be in touch with each person that you want to keep a kesher with - phone calls, email, zoom.
I found that when I moved away from family and friends, I became the person that did most of the calling and visiting. Understand that that might happen, because your need may be greater than theirs, and try not to let it bug you.
Most of all, you will make new friends beH. Try not to be intimidated by the people in your new city - everyone needs a friend and a smile.
It should be with mazel!

amother

Tiffanyblue

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 3:19 pm

Just remember that nothing is permanent etched in stone, not a job or a move. In the worst case if it's really terrible you can move back. Maybe if you don't feel stuck you'll have an easier time adjusting. Wishing you tonz of Mazel and happiness! Many times a move is actually the best thing you can do. Meshane makom Meshane mazel