S/O Do BTs become frum mainly to Live truth and reveal Hashe

icedcoffee

Mon, Aug 02 2021, 12:15 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

I liked your post but I think by MO you mean nominally Orthodox, or Conservative but the shul we go to is Orthodox type. Or full-blown Conservative.

No, I really don't... also not sure what to make of this comment considering I included myself in this group Confused

BH Yom Yom

Mon, Aug 02 2021, 12:20 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I didn't see it that way so much. I think his trauma affected his whole self, and colored his intellectual journey.

I agree. Not saying that there wasn’t an intellectual component but a large part of his experience and choices was undoubtedly affected strongly by his father’s illness and death.

amother

Oxfordblue

Mon, Aug 02 2021, 12:31 pm

BH Yom Yom wrote:

I agree. Not saying that there wasn’t an intellectual component but a large part of his experience and choices was undoubtedly affected strongly by his father’s illness and death.

Also, it sounded like he was stuck btwn 2 worlds. He wanted to fit in so badly, but because he was raised with different background knowledge and experience he couldn't fully assimilate though he really tried.
And, I felt he was very respectful about his wife and marriage (he wrote very nicely and respectfully about her, he did not write 1 negative thing about her) but reading between the lines, it did not sound like a compatible & happy marriage. It sounded like they tried to make things work, and he stayed longer than he would have because of their kids, but the lack of a happy marriage also contributed to his leaving.

PinkFridge

Mon, Aug 02 2021, 12:59 pm

icedcoffee wrote:

No, I really don't... also not sure what to make of this comment considering I included myself in this group Confused

I have to apologize. I totally misread your post. I thought you were calling MO people who moved to the right from further left BTs which seemed to be "fightin words" iykwim. Instead, with my post I seemed to be doing exactly that! Sorry we can't just delete everything and start over. Chas v'sholom I meant to offend anyone. And now I can like your post wholeheartedly. That's what happens when I'm in a rush.

ETA: I edited my earlier post. Again, people, you can just ignore, walk around the debris. And reread iced coffee's earlier post. It's good.

PinkFridge

Mon, Aug 02 2021, 1:53 pm

amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:

Because his views on women are very outdated.

That's not why I asked. I was just wondering if he was older, may have had some connection or background like many but not all of the middle aged+ BTs I know. Of course there are many middle aged people who sadly didn't have such connections, who can't read aleph bais, who don't go to services at least 2 days a year.

Chayalle

Mon, Aug 02 2021, 1:55 pm

amother [ Oxfordblue ] wrote:

I think that in the community he was in, his marital prospects were not great because his parents were BT and his father had died....he describes his hesitations in getting engaged to his wife, and he was pretty much pushed even though he had barely talked to her, let alone develop feelings for her. I have read that he has said his marriage was not a happy one, though they both tried. I think alot of this contributed to his feelings of oppression, and ultimately caused him to develop his beliefs (or lack there-of).

So I definitely think that trauma led the development of his intellectual reasonings.