My Cleaning Helper wants to become jewish

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miriam845

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 10:00 am

So my very nice cleaning helper who has worked for me for 2 years has become very close to me, she is poor and a single mother, but she is smart and very honest deep and serious, about 6 months ago our relationship started to become more like friends then worker & boss(or whatever you want to call it),
This whole interest in Judaism interest of her started very innocent, she started asking questions like what the candles are, why different sinks, about shaitels and tzniues, at first I was nice and answered as much as I could, then a few weeks ago she started asking me how she can become Jewish, she started dressing tzniuesdig, she bought a hebrew to spanish siddur translation, it looks like its something she thinks about all day,

I am no expert and have no idea about this, what am I supposed to do, she is really a nice person with great midus and a very warm heart so I don't want to disappoint her by pushing her away or anything like this.

Success10

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 10:10 am

I don't know how good her English is, but it's important for you to first relay to her that she can attain spirituality and a place in the World to Come without being a Jew. She should also see the nitty gritty difficulties of day to day Jewish life (I'm sure she does see a lot in your home, but maybe emphasize it more, how much things costs, how intricate the laws are). I would for SURE seek out rabbinic advice on how to gently and nicely push her away. And, at the same time, how to look for signs that she may actually be genuine and need a mentor to guide her along her journey.

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 10:17 am

I would refer her to speak with a rabbi, after checking with the rabbi first. I would not take it upon myself to try to assess how serious she is or to dissuade her.

amother

Sienna

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 10:19 am

miriam845 wrote:

I am no expert and have no idea about this, what am I supposed to do, she is really a nice person with great midus and a very warm heart so I don't want to disappoint her by pushing her away or anything like this.

I think you are supposed to push her away. Ask a Rav for real life guidance

amother

White

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 10:37 am

I'm surprised about the advice to davka push her away. I was taught that if they ask about it, you can answer their questions. Just do it in an honest way, like not to glorify anything or entice them. You can use it as an opportunity to discuss the 7 Noahide Laws with them.

chanchy123

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 10:43 am

I would refer her to a giyur beis din in your area. Do you have an organization that deals with geirim in your community.

flowerpower

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 10:43 am

Give her the number of a spanish speaking rav or rabbi that has experience in this field.

finprof

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 10:44 am

A Rabbi is supposed to push a convert away 3 times, a friend does not have to. Offer whatever advice you feel comfortable with.

sequoia

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 10:53 am

Spanish speakers are almost all descendants of Jews.

miriam845

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 11:18 am

does anyone know of a Spanish speaking Ruv that would be good for this ?

zaq

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 11:22 am

sequoia wrote:

Spanish speakers are almost all descendants of Jews.

So I have heard people claim--a claim I find very hard to believe. Was there a plague that wiped out the entire Moslem and Christian population of Spain after 1492, leaving only the Jews who fled to the New World to populate all of Latin America and only the anusim to repopulate all of Spain?

Are many Spanish-speaking people of part Jewish descent? Sure. But almost all? Even "more than half" strains my willing suspension of disbelief.

Ah, here we are: https://www.jpost.com/magazine.....81959

"Genetic research: almost 25% of Latinos, Hispanics have Jewish DNA
Unprecedented genetic research undertaken by dozens of professors from around the world has provided evidence that almost a quarter of Latinos and Hispanics have significant Jewish DNA."

25% is a long way from "almost all."

amother

Dimgray

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 11:31 am

miriam845 wrote:

does anyone know of a Spanish speaking Ruv that would be good for this ?

Would help if you mentioned where this is.

miriam845

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 11:33 am

amother [ Dimgray ] wrote:

Would help if you mentioned where this is.

Monsey

amother

Tiffanyblue

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 11:34 am

Yaffa Paltis husband is a Spanish speaker... But he's in Florida

PeanutMama

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 11:44 am

That’s so beautiful.
Yes definitely send her to a good Rav and tell her about the 7 noahide laws but seeing that Spanish siddur, the tznius dress etc, I think she’s truly sincere. But she needs a good Rav.

Rav Avraham Goldstein speaks Spanish and so does his wife.
I’ll get his number for you, I know one of his DILs.

I’d love to be in contact with her as a convert myself but my Spanish is beyond rusty.

amother

Skyblue

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 11:46 am

Question aside (I'd leave that for the Rabbi's), just wanted to say that you must be doing something right to find yourself in this situation. Kudos.

Momima

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 12:48 pm

This is so interesting, definitely think there is Jewish blood in some Spanish people. My cleaning lady loves to learn the bible knows it inside out. She thinks her grandmother lit candles.. But glad she hasn't asked about becoming Jewish, I wouldn't know how to respond either.
Good luck with that!

miriam845

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 1:06 pm

amother [ Skyblue ] wrote:

Question aside (I'd leave that for the Rabbi's), just wanted to say that you must be doing something right to find yourself in this situation. Kudos.

Thank You, I don't think I did anything special but it did give me a good feeling that others want so hard to be part of what we are

amother

Lightyellow

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 1:44 pm

I'm a convert, originally from a very small community somewhere in Europe. My way towards the giyur took many years. During that time, I was indeed rejected at first, but that was by 2 rabbanim that I approached. Nearly all other Jews I met were friendly and trying to be helpful. I don't think that it is the task of a friend to reject someone who wants to convert. That is really up to the rav. It is painful even so, even if one knows already that it is part of the process.
As others here recommended, a rav who speaks Spanish would be a good starting point, and it would probably be helpful if you let him know that you know her, so that it's not totally out of the blue.

Window

Tue, Aug 03 2021, 2:19 pm

Yeah, like others mentioned, just send her to a Rav who does conversions.
“I don’t know anything about conversions, you’d have to go through a Rabbi, here’s his number.”
Chances are, she’ll never get around to calling.
Happens on shlichus all the time. They want to learn about Judaism, they’re interested in converting, etc.. “okay, you can come meet with us to discuss” and no one ever came around....

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