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Forum -> Vacation and Traveling
My family wants to go on vacation and I should be their cook
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 11:43 am
Seriously
Dh and kids are excited that we are going to an Airbnb for a few days.
I let them know that this time I’m not bringing all my cooking equipment (George foreman grill, toaster, crockpot, spices etc) I also need a vacation.
Dh is disturbed by my attitude. He claims that especially on vacation we should be able to have fresh scrambled eggs for breakfast and and a fresh hot dinner. I told him I’ll bring food but easy things like bread, rolls, peanut butter, deli, yogurt, cereal…. They are very upset with me. I think they are being selfish and they’re spoiled. I’m not interested in going away and still having to cook for everyone. Why can’t they be okay with sandwiches for a few days?? I’ll pack lots of snacks… no one will starve. I wish I could send everyone away and stay home by myself for a few days.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 11:49 am
Can't DH man the scrambled eggs, toaster, and foreman grill?
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amother
Butterscotch


 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 11:51 am
Nobody else can make eggs, toast, and use the George foreman? It's pretty simple. Maybe give a demo the first day for everyone and they can take turns. I personally have no problem doing it on vaca, but if it bothers you show others how to do it and everyone can pitch in.
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amother
Stoneblue


 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 11:54 am
Sounds like DH would prefer to go to an area that has a kosher breakfast place so he can have all the scrambled eggs and pancakes he desires. If he can’t do with cold cereal, yogurt and bread and spreads, you need to travel
Within places that have kosher restaurants. Of course this would also drive up the cost significantly but can’t have it all at the same time
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 12:03 pm
I'll be honest - a vacation with a few days of sandwiches would not appeal to me. I need my strength on vacations, and I'd rather eat a good breakfast and not keep snacking, and ditto for the kids.

But I'm not the vacation cook. Everyone pitches in.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 12:13 pm
I end up doing it all. They won’t pitch in. That’s just how it is. It’s not only that I don’t want to be busy with food prep but it’s the extra schlepping too.
I can bring my electric hot water pot for noodle soup, hot cocoa, oatmeal…. I can even bring my small sandwich maker. More than that I really don’t want to do. I had a very hard last few months and I also need a vacation desperately. Im hoping that 1-2 times we’ll find somewhere to buy food but I’m not certain that there is anything in the immediate area. It’s not like I’m not thinking about what everyone will eat. It’s a matter of thinking about it and wanting to go simple since they won’t do anything on their own. It’s not a good feeling that they are upset with me.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 12:14 pm
Going away with family is not vacation. At least not for me. Even making sandwiches three times a day for everyone, packing them up for trips and preparing all the food takes away from the feeling of vacation.
I go knowing that it’s not vacation for me. I call it a family trip and family bonding experience but definitely not vacation.
There were a couple of times where DH took the kids on vacation and I stayed behind with the baby . For me , that’s real vacation.
I also go away once every few years by myself for a day or two to rejuvenate. And then we do couples vacations for a day or two where I also feel relaxed. But family trips are exhausting , any way you cut it. I think there is a middle ground though in terms of food. You don’t need to resort to peanut butter and cereal for meals.
Bringing along grilled chicken cutlets , veggies etc can easily be turned into chicken wraps, chicken salad etc. No cooking needed.
Kids can make scrambled eggs. If they’ve never done it before, this should be fun for them to try.
You can make tuna , cheese sandwiches, avocado sandwiches etc.
double wrapped Ready frozen meals popped into a microwave can also work.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 12:15 pm
If you sleep in the first morning and they are hungry and the sandwich maker and ingredients are there, trust me, they will go ahead and get their own breakfast ready.
Also just abt every place now has a microwave which is easy to kasher. Buy some meal mart meals for supper the shelf stable kind. No refrigeration needed!
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amother
Butterscotch


 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 12:17 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I end up doing it all. They won’t pitch in. That’s just how it is. It’s not only that I don’t want to be busy with food prep but it’s the extra schlepping too.
I can bring my electric hot water pot for noodle soup, hot cocoa, oatmeal…. I can even bring my small sandwich maker. More than that I really don’t want to do. I had a very hard last few months and I also need a vacation desperately. Im hoping that 1-2 times we’ll find somewhere to buy food but I’m not certain that there is anything in the immediate area. It’s not like I’m not thinking about what everyone will eat. It’s a matter of thinking about it and wanting to go simple since they won’t do anything on their own. It’s not a good feeling that they are upset with me.


What do you mean they won't pitch in? If they don't help they don't eat hot food. Let everyone choose one meal q day they want to help with. Obviously you will supervise but it doesnt have to all be on you.
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amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 12:19 pm
You need to have conversation with your dh get on the same page about what food prep you are ok with & what he can do to help & sit your kids down together explain to them that this is what it is going to be & they all need to chip in.
For moms going on vacation with the food all on them is incredibly hard & not a vacation at all.
Your family needs to understand that you also need a vacation.
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amother
Sage


 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 12:20 pm
We're booked into an Airbnb at the end of the summer. Breakfast will be cereal and milk. Maybe some yogurt. Lunches will be sandwiches. DH always makes those while I'm getting everyone ready for the day. Snacks will be fruit and string cheese and nosh. Dinners I will bring fully cooked food from home. It's extra prep beforehand but means I don't have to do any extra work on vacation. We bring trays of food that we cooked at home and froze and we double wrap and heat them in the oven. I make sure there are cut up veggies to supplement. Done.
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amother
Whitesmoke


 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 12:20 pm
I feel like OP is rightfully objecting to the fact that it is vacation for everyone but her.
Everyone else is on vacation (Ie DH) so why can’t it be a vacation for her too, why does she need to cook (and clean up…..)

OP, I don’t know how old your kids are, as it is not fair to a 3 year old.
Can you have self service?
This is what is available cereal, yogurt, eggs.
Take/cook what you want. If you want eggs, cook your own. Don’t want to cook, eat a yogurt.

Alternative, for dinner, can you bring frozen meatballs…… so all you (or DH) need to do is heat it up?
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 12:20 pm
It's not a good feeling that they're upset with you? It's not a good feeling to be on "vacation" and be cooking all day!

Where's their sense of adventure? Either they get used to the idea of eating "instant" foods and sandwiches--hint: this is called "camping out" and is part of the fun--or you implement toranut with EVERY family member carrying out certain responsibilities in rotation. I suggest starting this tornaut now, well before you go on vacay, so that you can assess everyone's capabilities and so that they get used to the idea of pulling their weight. Even a preschooler can scrub produce and beat eggs.
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amother
Stoneblue


 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 12:23 pm
amother [ Sage ] wrote:
We're booked into an Airbnb at the end of the summer. Breakfast will be cereal and milk. Maybe some yogurt. Lunches will be sandwiches. DH always makes those while I'm getting everyone ready for the day. Snacks will be fruit and string cheese and nosh. Dinners I will bring fully cooked food from home. It's extra prep beforehand but means I don't have to do any extra work on vacation. We bring trays of food that we cooked at home and froze and we double wrap and heat them in the oven. I make sure there are cut up veggies to supplement. Done.


This is what I do too. The difference is no one is demanding it of me and everyone does their part.
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jewishmom6




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 12:33 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
Going away with family is not vacation. At least not for me. Even making sandwiches three times a day for everyone, packing them up for trips and preparing all the food takes away from the feeling of vacation.
I go knowing that it’s not vacation for me. I call it a family trip and family bonding experience but definitely not vacation.
There were a couple of times where DH took the kids on vacation and I stayed behind with the baby . For me , that’s real vacation.
I also go away once every few years by myself for a day or two to rejuvenate. And then we do couples vacations for a day or two where I also feel relaxed. But family trips are exhausting , any way you cut it. I think there is a middle ground though in terms of food. You don’t need to resort to peanut butter and cereal for meals.
Bringing along grilled chicken cutlets , veggies etc can easily be turned into chicken wraps, chicken salad etc. No cooking needed.
Kids can make scrambled eggs. If they’ve never done it before, this should be fun for them to try.
You can make tuna , cheese sandwiches, avocado sandwiches etc.
double wrapped Ready frozen meals popped into a microwave can also work.


100% this
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emzod42




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 12:38 pm
I hear you OP! It is more work, and it's not fair. Even if someone else cooks, there's still all the extra packing, shlepping, washing up in bathroom or unfamiliar/traif kitchen, etc. Maybe you could tell him what you're willing to do and put the onus on him to solve the problem if he wants better options (go somewhere with kosher takeout, take charge of meal prep and cleanup, bring prepared food from home, etc.).Or maybe bring up the sandwich/cereal option but spend more on premium ingredients for vacation (get fancier bread/rolls/cheeses, more expensive cereal or fruit for toppings, stuff for yogurt parfaits, etc,).
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chanchy123




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 12:47 pm
Would you be able to barbecue? DH loves barbecuing on vacation, it’s a hot meat meal and I come as a guest.
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amother
Lightgreen


 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 12:51 pm
I'm with you op. I don't have enough vacation days to go on "vacation" with my family and get a break for myself. Now that my kids are all teens or low 20s there are times when they go on vacation without me. I work hard and deal with all the family stuff all year, I need a break where I sleep late, sit around all day and have no responsibilities. A "vacation" where all the responsibility falls on me and I also have to be on the go all day is just exhausting.

Have a calm conversation with your husband. And sit down with everyone and make a schedule with jobs for each person. Like this they can have their scrambled eggs and hot dinners and you can still have a break.
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liora25




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 12:53 pm
Totally get you
What iv done a few times in order to also have a vacation and have good food , as that’s also important to me , is iv cooked delicious meals before our vacation , frozen and put on hot tray 2 hours or so before we eat
I also do pastas for lunch
Amd then some days also have sandwiches
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mommyhood




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 1:17 pm
I do a compromise. Breakfast and lunch are cold/help yourself but I bring cooked suppers and reheat double wrapped in the oven.
This way I have a relaxed morning but we all have a yummy supper.
I also don't look at family trips as a vacation for me or for dh because it never is. We both find it harder and more exhausting to go away but it's great for our kids and for family memories. We try to go away ourselves at other times or on date nights if a getaway isn't possible.
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