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Please explain the value in not having texting
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Persevere




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2021, 10:57 pm
Hi, I'm looking for some respectful answers to this question so I can understand the perspective.

I know that it's considered ultra righteous not to have texting. There are several people in my life who have this philosophy.

I'm talking about adult married women with children. Not teenagers, men, etc

I understand the value in having a relationship and conversations with people, so not having any serious discussions over text.

However, for small questions / convenience / minor details that need to be communicated. It's super inconvenient when people don't text.

Can someone please explain this to me. Thanks!
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2021, 11:02 pm
I'd love to know also. Besides for convince. Texting can give you time to look over and choose your words carefully. So many times I have edited my text. You can't do that with words.
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cla




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2021, 11:03 pm
I agree. I find it extremely annoying and difficult to communicate without text. For example when considering a carpool or steady walking partner arrangement, I won't consider those who I'd have to call to make any little change.

My sisters in law who don't have text I call may be a couple of times a year. The ones who do, we are in touch alot more often.
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jkl




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2021, 11:13 pm
Persevere wrote:
Hi, I'm looking for some respectful answers to this question so I can understand the perspective.

I know that it's considered ultra righteous not to have texting. There are several people in my life who have this philosophy.

I'm talking about adult married women with children. Not teenagers, men, etc

I understand the value in having a relationship and conversations with people, so not having any serious discussions over text.

However, for small questions / convenience / minor details that need to be communicated. It's super inconvenient when people don't text.

Can someone please explain this to me. Thanks!


It has to do with the community's mindset, that everything new is automatically problematic. And if you can refrain from associating with the new thing, it's more righteous and more frum.

If the printing press or the regular phone would be introduced in today's time, these communities would react in the same way. If you'd stay away from any printed material, and not have a regular phone in the house, then you'd be considered more righteous and more frum.

When the newness factor fades away, the community slowly (very slowly in some cases) eventually comes around and accepts it, especially for the things that become fully integrated into society. Give it a couple of years and texting won't even be on anyone's radar. Eventually, even the smartphone will become the norm too.
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Blessing1




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2021, 11:17 pm
I really understand it. When texting, we can text things that we'd otherwise never say. It's also too easy for a texting conversation to become inappropriate.
I myself have a guideline that I don't text men. (Besides for my father and brothers.) Everyone sets up boundaries that are right and important to them.


Last edited by Blessing1 on Wed, Aug 04 2021, 11:36 pm; edited 1 time in total
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2021, 11:17 pm
jkl wrote:
It has to do with the community's mindset, that everything new is automatically problematic. And if you can refrain from associating with the new thing, it's more righteous and more frum.

If the printing press or the regular phone would be introduced in today's time, these communities would react in the same way. If you'd stay away from any printed material, and not have a regular phone in the house, then you'd be considered more righteous and more frum.

When the newness factor fades away, the community slowly (very slowly in some cases) eventually comes around and accepts it, especially for the things that become fully integrated into society. Give it a couple of years and texting won't even be on anyone's radar. Eventually, even the smartphone will become the norm too.


But why? Why does new = bad? It seems ... I'm not sure what the word is .... Overly cautious... Fearful.... Why would anyone want to live their lives that way? Especially with how quickly the world is changing?
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jkl




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2021, 11:20 pm
singleagain wrote:
But why? Why does new = bad? It seems ... I'm not sure what the word is .... Overly cautious... Fearful.... Why would anyone want to live their lives that way? Especially with how quickly the world is changing?


I have the same question. I think it's because they fear anything new can upend the strict structure of their lifestyle.
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jkl




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2021, 11:22 pm
Blessing1 wrote:
I really understand it. When texting, we can text things that we'd otherwise never say. It's also too easy for a texting conversation to become inappropriate.
I myself have a guideline that I don't text men. (Besides for my father and brothers.) Everyone sets up boundaries that are important to them.


I'm with Singleagain on this one. For me, it's just the opposite. Texting allows me to avoid putting my foot in my mouth, and has me thinking exactly what I'm trying to say. Its a great tool to implement 'think before you speak'.
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SafeAtLast




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2021, 11:22 pm
singleagain wrote:
But why? Why does new = bad? It seems ... I'm not sure what the word is .... Overly cautious... Fearful.... Why would anyone want to live their lives that way? Especially with how quickly the world is changing?


חדש אסור מן התורה


Last edited by SafeAtLast on Wed, Aug 04 2021, 11:49 pm; edited 1 time in total
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SafeAtLast




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2021, 11:25 pm
I get the philosophy but I feel the inconvenience outweighs it.

People who don't have text easily fade out of my life.
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2021, 11:30 pm
SafeAtLast wrote:
חדש מן התורה מנין


I'm not very good at reading Hebrew can someone please translate?
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BokerTov




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2021, 11:34 pm
The only valid reason I can find is because it ends up being very addictive and kids see the mom texting all day. Moms are not fully present when distracted and busy typing on a phone all the time.

Somehow with talking you can be more disciplined. No one will carry on a conversation (hopefully) while doing homework with a child but they’ll likely text back and forth because it’s so quick, and doesn’t make noise, but the child loses out.
Unless you’re a real disciplined person who puts the phone away when kids need attention. I, for one, am not disciplined enough and my kids would be a lot better off if I wouldn’t text.

JMHO
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SafeAtLast




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2021, 11:51 pm
singleagain wrote:
I'm not very good at reading Hebrew can someone please translate?


Really it is about the new wheat being assur before being makriv the Korban omer.

But there are meforshim that twist the meaning to be that everything that is new is assur.
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Mommyg8




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2021, 11:55 pm
SafeAtLast wrote:
Really it is about the new wheat being assur before being makriv the Korban omer.

But there are meforshim that twist the meaning to be that everything that is new is assur.

This is wrong. It was the Chasam Sofer that said that chadash assur min hatorah - he didn't twist it, he used that as a protection for his kehillah against the Reform movement. And if you look at the history of different countries, it seemed to have worked.
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Mommyg8




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Aug 04 2021, 11:56 pm
Blessing1 wrote:
I really understand it. When texting, we can text things that we'd otherwise never say. It's also too easy for a texting conversation to become inappropriate.
I myself have a guideline that I don't text men. (Besides for my father and brothers.) Everyone sets up boundaries that are right and important to them.

I heard this argument but I don't understand it.

Any conversation can become inappropriate if we are not careful. And is there the same problem with emails? Letters? How is this different?
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Blessing1




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 05 2021, 12:01 am
Mommyg8 wrote:
I heard this argument but I don't understand it.

Any conversation can become inappropriate if we are not careful. And is there the same problem with emails? Letters? How is this different?


Texting is so easy and always at hand. Emails and letters aren't such an instant back and fourth conversation as texting is. Emails and letters also aren't as distracting. Many times when we text, it's more of a relaxed and not so formal attitude.
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BrachaVHatzlocha




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 05 2021, 12:03 am
I dont think it is about new things being ossur because they use cell phones. My guess is time wasting. Being hooked to ur phone. Maybe some people from more chasidic communities or very yeshivish know?
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Mommyg8




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 05 2021, 12:13 am
Blessing1 wrote:
Texting is so easy and always at hand. Emails and letters aren't such an instant back and fourth conversation as texting is. Emails and letters also aren't as distracting. Many times when we text, it's more of a relaxed and not so formal attitude.

I work on the computer, so emails really are pretty much always available to me. I rarely text actually, and when I do it's really basic info. I was recently somewhere where the phone service was spotty and it was great to have text.

And in the olden days when people wrote a lot of letters it was also always on hand.

I do get annoyed when people text me something that they should have called me for, like if it's going to be a long conversation or whatever, just pick up the phone and call! But that's just me.

When I was growing up, the telephone was the great distractor (and still is, honestly), but there were always distractions. And sometimes in the olden days life was pretty boring.
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naturalmom5




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 05 2021, 12:16 am
singleagain wrote:
But why? Why does new = bad? It seems ... I'm not sure what the word is .... Overly cautious... Fearful.... Why would anyone want to live their lives that way? Especially with how quickly the world is changing?


Chodosh Osur Min HaTorah ...Chasam Sofer

Personally with texting I would JUST wear a sweat shirt that says

I AM VERY VERY FRUM
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Mommyg8




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Aug 05 2021, 12:19 am
naturalmom5 wrote:
Chodosh Osur Min HaTorah ...Chasam Sofer

Personally with texting I would JUST wear a sweat shirt that says

I AM VERY VERY FRUM


LOL LOL LOL
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