Where do I stand as a mother? What does it mean

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Wed, Aug 11 2021, 10:05 am

Grew up without a stable mother figure

I'm having a very hard time knowing my place with my kids.
(I have a 10 yo, 7yo, 4yo and newborn )

My boundaries are not clear and I am my kids best friends. I know its not healthy at all. No boundaries etc

Anyone know a good book or something likenthat that can help me ,direct me to learn what my place is as a mother?
Ty I really appreciate it

Adding bc j know people will mention therapy. I am in therapy

rowena

Wed, Aug 11 2021, 10:32 am

Not specifically a boundaries book, but I love thrivers by Michelle borba.

There is an Instagram account @biglittlefeelings.
They are meant for 0-5, but I find it helpful for my almost 7 year old.
They sell a course as well.

leaf

Wed, Aug 11 2021, 12:25 pm

I highly recommend the book How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk. by adele faber and elaine mazlish. Its an amazing book with a lot of tips on how to have a great relationship with your kids without neglecting the parenting.

#BestBubby

Wed, Aug 11 2021, 12:48 pm

OP you grew up with teachers.

Teachers can be very kind and loving - but they are still the authority and not "friends".

amother

Wed, Aug 11 2021, 12:53 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

OP you grew up with teachers.

Teachers can be very kind and loving - but they are still the authority and not "friends".

Thank you, this gives me perspective. I like this eg.
Just having a hard time knowing and feeling this in. Mothers role/ position
I'm setting the wrong tone in the house and it's very destructive

Crookshanks

Wed, Aug 11 2021, 1:25 pm

Can you take a parenting course? There are so many out there and once you take it you can always call the person with questions.

amother

Wed, Aug 11 2021, 1:39 pm

Crookshanks wrote:

Can you take a parenting course? There are so many out there and once you take it you can always call the person with questions.

Yes I did
I took blimi hellers course. It litterally changed ALL my relationships.
I do call her here and there with questions but I feel like I need a book or something for this not a call to blimi. It's more of learning a new way of being so to speak.

amother

Honey

Wed, Aug 11 2021, 2:02 pm

Janet Lansbury is reqlly good at setting limits. Blog. Books and podcast.

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