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Being very careful and savings...
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Aug 11 2021, 11:53 pm
Dh and I work very very hard for lots of hours a day at each of our jobs. We make a decent amount of money for the fields that we are in and we are BH making it month to month.

Now the question: We have our basic monthly expenses I.e. childcare, mortgage, utilities, car ins, gas, health ins etc. which we can afford. plus little here and there (a new top for myself, new containers for my closet, new bathtowels...)

we both came to the conclusion that at this point it just doesn't pay to count our pennies and try to be thrifty or save here and there because something ALWAYS comes up that will blow our little money we were trying to save that month...

we have our yearly tax refund and the stimulus in savings at this point but we don't save anything from month to month. we are not cheap on ourselves to an extent. Like I will buy my kids one pair of school shoes from the local Jewish stores for $100. And I will buy yogurt and good fruit at the grocery because I'm not looking to be cheap on my food.

we were being very careful to hold off on splurging on an item (about $300) and there went our car breaks...so now we anyway spent that money...

and last month we thought we can put away like $500 cuz we didn't do any summer vacation this year but then I needed to go to the doctor for a minor thing and had to pay out of pocket for my deductible so there went all that money...


how do people save when they aren't making mega?
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 12:25 am
You need to save precisely because you aren't earning a lot. A single emergency could wipe you out. (Ideally, you'll also try to work towards higher paying jobs.)

No, you don't need to constantly deny yourself things, but you do need to develop thrifty habits. Set up an automatic monthly transfer to savings or an investment account. If you don't have the money available, you won't spend it.
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amother
Cantaloupe


 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 12:39 am
Set up a small amount to transfer to savings every time you get your paycheck. If you save $25 a week, then you've saved up about $1200 a year. Most people who aren't very tight can manage with $25 less each week a lot faster than they can manage to put away $1000 at once.
Once you're comfortable with the $25 rate, try to bump it up to $30, $40, $50 etc. But the point is to be consistent. When you see your paycheck, your brain should automatically only see $25 less than the actual check amount as spendable money, because the weekly transfer to savings should be sacred.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 4:12 am
OP I don’t understand your logic at all. People who live paycheck to paycheck would serve themselves well to learn to make the money go farther. To have a cushion. To have savings. Many of us do that by cutting the exact corners you don’t seem willing to cut, like NOT spending $100 on school shoes (because that $60 difference between buying a cheaper shoe can go towards utility bill, or cable bill, or even a pair of shoes for you) And going to a cheaper supermarket and stocking up on yogurt (Etc) when it’s on sale can generate real savings. Shift your thinking. Your not depriving yourself by spending less on these items, you’re actually helping yourself
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amother
Snowflake


 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 4:33 am
I live similarly to OP, and I get what she's saying. When you try to save in one area, something "happens" and you wind up spending the money elsewhere. It's like Hashem just wants us to live nicely and not save for some reason.
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Teomima




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 5:47 am
amother [ Snowflake ] wrote:
I live similarly to OP, and I get what she's saying. When you try to save in one area, something "happens" and you wind up spending the money elsewhere. It's like Hashem just wants us to live nicely and not save for some reason.

Yes but saving for a splurge is not the same as savings in general. "Savings" usually means setting money aside in case there's ch"v a major emergency, for helping your children with future expenses, paying off debt, down payment for a house, and for retirement of course.

You should set aside a little bit right off the top from every paycheck for these sorts of savings. Then go about living your life. And if you have some extra at the end of the month, put it aside for a splurge. If you have, like the op says, a small emergency, like new breaks, it's awesome that you have the funds to cover it without dipping into your "real" savings. Then you start again, until you can afford that splurge. An alternative, which personally I don't agree with (I try to live with no debt) but people do, is to take a loan for the vacation/splurge, then pay it off. That way you know the money doesn't disappear and you have your vacation. But then again, you're stucj paying it off and if something else comes up, like the car breaks, you have to figure that one out.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 6:04 am
amother [ Snowflake ] wrote:
I live similarly to OP, and I get what she's saying. When you try to save in one area, something "happens" and you wind up spending the money elsewhere. It's like Hashem just wants us to live nicely and not save for some reason.
this happens also with those living tightly and very frugally paycheck to paycheck. It's life. Gotta learn to budget even with a lot of money. These habits don't seem healthy
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 6:11 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:

we were being very careful to hold off on splurging on an item (about $300) and there went our car breaks...so now we anyway spent that money...

and last month we thought we can put away like $500 cuz we didn't do any summer vacation this year but then I needed to go to the doctor for a minor thing and had to pay out of pocket for my deductible so there went all that money...


B”H you held off on the $300 splurge! And B”H you had that $500 from not going on vacation!
Do you really think if you had just spent the money those times that you would now be better off?
You say you are making it month to month. Believe me, being in debt is not a better life. Hashem sent refuah lifnai hamakkah with the money so you wouldn’t have the stress of living in debt
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 6:31 am
Savings is a basic monthly expense, like mortgage or childcare. If you think of it as an optional extra, you won't save much, which is shooting yourself in the foot. The conventional wisdom is that 50% of your monthly income should be for regular basic expenses, 20% should go straight into savings as a basic expense; and then the last 30% is discretionary (entertainment, travel, toys, nicer food or clothing for family, etc)

It's often a good idea to keep some savings handy for things like deductible from unexpected doctor visits (the conventional wisdom is enough to keep you going for 3-6 months in an emergency situation where you didn't have a job) and put most away where it can't be touched so easily, like retirement or investment plans.

It's a habit that's worth building!
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imaima




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 7:07 am
I think you should decide to put away money at the beginning of the month, and then live with the rest. This way you will save more.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 7:57 am
Right now I’m not at the point that need or want to spent so much emotional energy in saving little money by being very thrifty on my grocery bills etc. dh is on board even more than me. I sometimes questions this way but me and dh grew up this way anyway.
But the point is that every month we literally have some type of ‘surprise ’ regardless of how hard we try to save and then there’s no savings left! So I’m feeling that just keep not trying cuz hashem just has other plans for us…
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 8:19 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Right now I’m not at the point that need or want to spent so much emotional energy in saving little money by being very thrifty on my grocery bills etc. dh is on board even more than me. I sometimes questions this way but me and dh grew up this way anyway.
But the point is that every month we literally have some type of ‘surprise ’ regardless of how hard we try to save and then there’s no savings left! So I’m feeling that just keep not trying cuz hashem just has other plans for us…


This fatalistic attitude is more reflective of a poor person’s attitude than a rich. It’s poor People who think, oh there’s nothing I can do, I’ll always be poor so might as well spend on the {insert chosen luxury here}

I’m sure if you changed your mindset, and changed your behaviors, your circumstances would change. But you seem to think different which makes me wonder what the point of this thread is
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imaima




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 8:43 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Right now I’m not at the point that need or want to spent so much emotional energy in saving little money by being very thrifty on my grocery bills etc. dh is on board even more than me. I sometimes questions this way but me and dh grew up this way anyway.
But the point is that every month we literally have some type of ‘surprise ’ regardless of how hard we try to save and then there’s no savings left! So I’m feeling that just keep not trying cuz hashem just has other plans for us…


Everyone gets a surprise, rich and poor alike.
These 100 dollar shoes can last your kid for a year or for two months...
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 8:56 am
What you're describing, OP, is normal and common.

And preventable.

The trick is to do things in a way where you don't have to spend emotional energy on willpower.

You and DH both grew up without extras. So, if the savings money isn't there and tempting you, then you'll be able to make ends meet without it.

That's why savings gets put away in a place you can't touch it, like an IRA. That's why some companies used to offer to take it out of your salary and put it in a retirement fund, before you even see it. There are apps and programs to help you get this started. You can do it!

Don't be afraid. Trust Hashem to see you through WITH a savings account, just as you are trusting Hashem without one.
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GreenEyes26




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 9:10 am
I don’t understand. If you hadn’t saved the $300 for the special item you wanted - and then unfortunately had to use it for your car - how would you have paid for your car otherwise?

If you had not saved, even though you wanted to use the money for something else, you wouldn’t have had the funds to fix your car.

I underhand it’s difficult to be careful all the time, but your logic doesn’t make sense. I think what’s frustrating you is that you don’t make quite enough to really save for the extras - you need any savings to be used for less fun necessary expenses. Giving up now and spending what you like will just have you back here in 6 months freaking out because a big unexpected necessary expense came up and now you’re REALLY stuck.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 7:01 pm
if you buy from a jewish store and overpay like that, ask the rov if some of it can count towards maaser. how about being cheap on everyday food but not on shabbos and yomtov and rosh chodesh?

you have to start someplace.
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amother
Honeysuckle


 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 7:34 pm
My dh and I also work very hard at full time jobs. We save monthly. I have an automatic amount put into a retirement account for me. We put away chunks of money throughout the year- like $1000 3x a year. Plus, we put away money for our children so they can iyh have a a nice amount for a down payment into the future. We have mutual accounts for each of us. Right now we are fine bh, but making chasunahs and paying for college are going to pop up at some point and we try very hard to think ahead. Not just for car or medical emergencies (we have a category on our budget for these) but for the big expenses that are bound to come up too.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 7:35 pm
imasinger wrote:
What you're describing, OP, is normal and common.

And preventable.

The trick is to do things in a way where you don't have to spend emotional energy on willpower.

You and DH both grew up without extras. So, if the savings money isn't there and tempting you, then you'll be able to make ends meet without it.

That's why savings gets put away in a place you can't touch it, like an IRA. That's why some companies used to offer to take it out of your salary and put it in a retirement fund, before you even see it. There are apps and programs to help you get this started. You can do it!

Don't be afraid. Trust Hashem to see you through WITH a savings account, just as you are trusting Hashem without one.


I like what you wrote (as usual!)
But to clarify, dh and I DID grow up with lots of extras even more than how I live now. And my parent and in laws I think have less than me. I ask dh all the time “how?” And he said you don’t live your life to at we. You just don’t count pennies cuz it never works out on paper. My point is that even when I do try saving it ends up going to an unexpected expense.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 7:38 pm
chocolate moose wrote:
if you buy from a jewish store and overpay like that, ask the rov if some of it can count towards maaser. how about being cheap on everyday food but not on shabbos and yomtov and rosh chodesh?

you have to start someplace.


I already never buy meat only for Yom Tov and try buying chicken on sale to stock up. I feel like at the end after making myself nuts about this I end up spending the little I save in something not planned so what did I just gain
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Thu, Aug 12 2021, 8:00 pm
The past few weeks I've REALLY enjoyed (most episodes) of the new podcast, also on YouTube, of Kosher Money, by Living lechaim.

I think OP should watch it! B H I was raised a certain way and know a lot about saving and investing, from my parents, and BH husband is in board too (though it was harder for him. Her grew up poor and his parents have crazy "saving"/" investing" habits)
So a lot I already knew.

the most fast-moving episodes that I watched(most enjoyed) were with Horowitz and mandelbaum. Others were good too

It's a mindset
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