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Is it me? The place? Or the other parents? Vent
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 8:25 am
I went to the local jewish indoor kiddy place. Similar to chucked cheese. But less arcades more climbing structures and ball pits. I took my 3 kids ages 3,4 and 8. This was on a very hot rainy day so the place was packed. With lots of hyper kids I used to take them often but haven't gone in over a year. My 3 and 4 yr old each took turns enjoying it. But moments of pure misery. The issue: There were the climing structures and activities, block building ,little markets set up. But no one in charge managing. Chairs were set up for the parents to watch from the side.. but most parents just looked and didn't mix in some didn't even notice lots of boys 4-9 pushing, not waiting for turns, grabbing. My 4 yr old was having a meltdown tantrum he would play with Blocks he would go to get another one that was all thrown all over the area and a kid would come and mess it up. Same with my 3 yrs old except he's short so othe toddler 2 yr old would do that accidentally to him and some older mean kids. A kid grabbed something from him and ran so fast away I felt stupid running after someone's child. I know my kids don't share well. But thinking of calling the place up with complaints . Is this how such playgrounds are -kids just all had alot of energy. Should the other parents have disciplined and interfered more? Or should I have just sat back like the other moms to let children deal with the reality of life to learn to be more assertive and PUSH BACK better. Kids were jumping into half empty ball pits cuz some kids through out half the balls. Shouldn't parents prevent kids from doing that
. Or as one parent put it it takes away from creativity don't be so black and white its healthy and safe the store gets cleaned up each night can't do anything with so many kids. Let them do what they want in the room
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 8:31 am
I would contact the place and voice your concerns about lack of supervision by staff. Does this place have insurance? If a kid gets an arm broken by being jumped on by a much bigger kid, there's going to be a lawsuit for sure. You might want to bring that up (even if you would never dream of suing.) Businesses respond to anything that could lose them money or make them close down.

I would tread carefully with mixing in with other parents or kids. They can get very chutzpadik, and then you have a shouting match on your hands. If you reprimand a kid, often they davka will do something twice as bad just because they know their mom won't get off her smartphone.

If your kids are having meltdowns, I would gather them up and ask them if they wanted to leave. If so, take them out and bring them to someplace less hectic, where they can get pizza or an ice cream.

For the future, I would never go when it was that crowded. It sounds like a recipe for disaster.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 8:52 am
So it’s basically a giant playroom with a ton of kids packed in. Ofcourse they’re all going to grab the same toys.
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Notsobusy




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 9:02 am
Zehava wrote:
So it’s basically a giant playroom with a ton of kids packed in. Ofcourse they’re all going to grab the same toys.


You're right, but if my kid was grabbing toys away from a different kid, I would make them stop. It's the parents responsibility here to make sure their own child behaves appropriately.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 9:07 am
Notsobusy wrote:
You're right, but if my kid was grabbing toys away from a different kid, I would make them stop. It's the parents responsibility here to make sure their own child behaves appropriately.

If I had to spend the entire time making sure my kid wasn’t grabbing toys away from 50 other kids who wanted the same toy I’d hightail it out of there. What’s the point in going?
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amother




Amaranthus
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 9:12 am
Parents paid to go because that want a brake and to not deal with their kids. Most people don’t care as long as their kid is not complaining to them. Everyone’s kid has perfect middot and it is somebody else’s problem. If you discipline someone else’s child were even try to protect your own, the parents will stop at you and be very nasty. I would stay far far away from those places.
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Notsobusy




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 9:13 am
Zehava wrote:
If I had to spend the entire time making sure my kid wasn’t grabbing toys away from 50 other kids who wanted the same toy I’d hightail it out of there. What’s the point in going?


Then I guess you shouldn't go. Why should her kid suffer because you don't care if your kid takes toys away from him? What happens when you have guests and your kid takes away the toy they're playing with? Do you ignore that also?
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Simple1




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 9:13 am
I really don't like going to go to these places when it's very crowded. It might be harder to arrange, but it's more pleasant when it's not peak season and hours.
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amother




Crystal
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 9:19 am
Zehava wrote:
If I had to spend the entire time making sure my kid wasn’t grabbing toys away from 50 other kids who wanted the same toy I’d hightail it out of there. What’s the point in going?

You’re responsible for your kids chinuch in all situations. If they grab away others’ toys you either mix in or don’t be upset if the other parent does. Which is better? Little kids can’t be left to their own devices. You wouldn’t be happy if the teacher would ignore. Where there’s no teacher you’re in charge. It’s part of supervision. The other option is to stay home or rent out a place for only your kids.
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amother




Canary
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 9:23 am
Notsobusy wrote:
You're right, but if my kid was grabbing toys away from a different kid, I would make them stop. It's the parents responsibility here to make sure their own child behaves appropriately.


Unless you have a sharp eye, it's not always clear who got the toy first. I was a preschool assistant, and this problem came up a lot.
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amother




Puce
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 9:31 am
I think every parent has to watch their kid. But at the same time it’s on you to explain to your kids that in such a place kids will grab and things will get knocked down. I don’t think your expectations are realistic to be honest. I’m super on top of my kids in such situations but I also prep them that they will have to deal with the chaos of other kids doing what they want.
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imaima




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 9:36 am
Realistically everyone came to telax and let kids play.
When kids play and interact, they may hurt each other's feelings. Some kids get upset, other kids are more easygoing.
You either ignore until your own child actually complains, or stand up for your kids. Chances are big that the other parent won't notice that you are disciplining their child. If they do, use this chance to remind them to watch their kids.
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North Star




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 9:49 am
It’s so it interesting that people say parents come to relax. Relax?! At these places?! When I go, I go so my kids can have fun, but I know it will be very stressful and I come home exhausted. In what world do parents come here to relax??

Yeah parents should watch their kids.
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Blessing1




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 10:10 am
amother [ Crystal ] wrote:
You’re responsible for your kids chinuch in all situations. If they grab away others’ toys you either mix in or don’t be upset if the other parent does. Which is better? Little kids can’t be left to their own devices. You wouldn’t be happy if the teacher would ignore. Where there’s no teacher you’re in charge. It’s part of supervision. The other option is to stay home or rent out a place for only your kids.


In such crowded places, it's hard to know exactly who had the toy first and who's in middle of playing with what. If the child let's go of a toy, even for a minute, it's only understandable that someone will take it. It doesn't pay to go to such places when it's crowded.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 11:42 am
What bothered me the most was children literally ripping the place apart. Whatever was not nailed or screwed in was picked up and thrown. The chair puddings that didn't have adult sitting on them were snapped off and thrown kids pulling on everything as hard as they could. A child going up the a tube slide when 15 kids want to go down. than shoving 8 kids to pass reminds me of a mob. Is it so hard to say something. My kid got stepped on and cried some kids pushed forward. I told my kid you see the boy is trying to pass move out of the way but it would help if a mother or manager would make the boy wait for everyone to get down. Or mother or manager would discipline a boy for breaking the other toys
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thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 11:49 am
I experienced this recently on a trip. The place was understaffed and there were 9 yr olds literally grabbing stuff out of my 3 yr olds hands , pushing her over onto the floor, after she worked so hard to gather all the toys and to climb up through the maze. It was the same few bullies that kept doing this to all the younger kids. I was a bit appalled at the behavior but it was a kids play zone and teens and adults were not supposed to crawl through so it was hard to protect my child. The place admitted that they were very understaffed since Covid hit.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 11:50 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
What bothered me the most was children literally ripping the place apart. Whatever was not nailed or screwed in was picked up and thrown. The chair puddings that didn't have adult sitting on them were snapped off and thrown kids pulling on everything as hard as they could. A child going up the a tube slide when 15 kids want to go down. than shoving 8 kids to pass reminds me of a mob. Is it so hard to say something. My kid got stepped on and cried some kids pushed forward. I told my kid you see the boy is trying to pass move out of the way but it would help if a mother or manager would make the boy wait for everyone to get down. Or mother or manager would discipline a boy for breaking the other toys

This is literally going to happen if you pack a bunch of kids into such a place. Especially kids of different ages and genders. I don’t know why you’re so surprised. It’s not a school. Just a giant playroom with a bunch of kids shoved in.
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amother




Broom
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 11:55 am
Zehava wrote:
This is literally going to happen if you pack a bunch of kids into such a place. Especially kids of different ages and genders. I don’t know why you’re so surprised. It’s not a school. Just a giant playroom with a bunch of kids shoved in.


It's normal for kids to do this.

It's expected that parents don't allow it and step in to curb the behavior.

It's expected that the business could be asking parents to not allow their children to destroy the place and help their children get along with others or potentially asking them to leave or pay for damages, if they wanted to.

I'm not taking my children to a place where it's Lord of the Flies and parents are sitting there not doing anything--- tacitly approving of it, and the business is unwilling or unable to correct the parent's behavior either.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 11:58 am
amother [ Broom ] wrote:
It's normal for kids to do this.

It's expected that parents don't allow it and step in to curb the behavior.

It's expected that the business could be asking parents to not allow their children to destroy the place and help their children get along with others or potentially asking them to leave or pay for damages, if they wanted to.

I'm not taking my children to a place where it's Lord of the Flies and parents are sitting there not doing anything--- tacitly approving of it, and the business is unwilling or unable to correct the parent's behavior either.

The heimish places I’ve seen usually just have someone at the counter taking money.
Many times local kids come on their own. I’ve had my 7-8 year olds go on their own sometimes.
I would never subject a 2-3 year old to that environment.
Obviously the owners made a cheshbon that they don’t mind some damages and having more staff to discipline the kids would cost them more.
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amother




Broom
 

Post Fri, Aug 13 2021, 12:02 pm
Zehava wrote:
The heimish places I’ve seen usually just have someone at the counter taking money.
Many times local kids come on their own. I’ve had my 7-8 year olds go on their own sometimes.
I would never subject a 2-3 year old to that environment.
Obviously the owners made a cheshbon that they don’t mind some damages and having more staff to discipline the kids would cost them more.


Yup. I agree that that's what often happens.

And that's why I would stop patronizing those places.

This is not directed at you Zehava, but we all go to a lot of expense and effort to be mechanech our children.

Supporting an environment like this that enables and rewards bullying and destructive behavior is contrary to everything I'm trying to teach my children.
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