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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

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sequoia

Fri, Aug 27 2021, 5:35 am

GreenEyes26 wrote:

OP, I can’t even imagine the toll this must be taking on you. Where is your husband in all of this??

He’s not present emotionally.

It’s all on her.

sequoia

Fri, Aug 27 2021, 6:14 am

amother [ Watermelon ] wrote:

OP, please sedate your son, and if that doesn't work, find a care home for him. He is obviously too violent to be allowed around younger children.

I'm terrified that one morning you are going to wake up and find out that all the other kids have been stabbed to death. You can see this coming, and if you don't act now and one of your other children gets hurt, you'll never forgive yourself.

You can love your son to the moon and back, but it won't fix psychosis and psychopathy.

Think of the other kids. Even if he doesn't stab them, they are all going to grow up with serious PTSD. Just ask anyone on the board who has had an older sibling like this.

Would you let anyone else treat your younger kids this way?

This. 100%. Every word.

Bigsis, you keep starting threads about your PARENTING. This isn’t about parenting anymore, for several years already. There is a violent, dangerous person in your house. He is also your son. You love him as your son. But as a dangerous person, he should not be in your home.

CPS didn’t follow up? The system is stupid, broken, and inefficient. Will that really make you feel better if someone ends up dead?

Your daughter sleeps in your room? That is not a long-term solution. You cannot keep an eye on her every moment.

Your other kids should not be growing up with a violent person who hurts them. Even if he is their brother.

Your parenting can’t fix this.

Keep them safe. Get him out for now.

amother

Burlywood

Fri, Aug 27 2021, 6:39 am

bigsis144 wrote:

Holy cow I just broke up a wild interaction to find two broken lightbulbs (it takes a lot of force to shatter a lightbulb with a pillow…) and DS11 said “Do you wanna punch me now?”

And I just… I just wanna clean the glass shards out of DS8’s sheets, okay????

—

And then when DS11 asked for a story 20 minutes later when I was done cleaning up the glass, I said, “sorry, it’s too late now for a story. I can sing you shema and then you gotta go to sleep.”

His response? “Ohhhhh, so you’re saying it’s MY FAULT??”

Lord give me patience.

He still wants you to read him a story. He still loves you and needs you. He is still a little boy.

Don't give up on him.

amother

Burlywood

Fri, Aug 27 2021, 6:46 am

sequoia wrote:

This kind of situation is heartbreaking. Whoever hasn't been there, will never truly know.

I would not send him away to some 'home'. However, sometimes these type of kids do much much better when they are out of the family home. He shouldn't be spending most of the evenings/weekends at home. Does he act normally in other people's homes? Very often kids like this are only like this in their own home. If that's the case, send him to grandparents often, to cousins, etc.

The kid has an extreme need for love. He is acting this way towards his siblings out of insane jealousy. However hard and trying it may be, try to love him even more. I know, it's crazy difficult. But it's the only way out.

Sending you lots of hugs. It's an insane period. The good thing is that most of these kids grow out of it to be functional adults. The challenge is to get him through it without him breaking and without undue trauma to your other kids.

And yes, if your dd needs to sleep with you now, so be it.

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