4 year old will not sleep through the night. Help!!!

amother

Tue, Aug 17 2021, 1:55 am

My almost 4 year old does not sleep through the night and I can't take it anymore... He takes sometime to fall asleep sometimes he will fall asleep in his own bed sometimes he finds his way to my bed. A few hours later he is up (we usually transfer him to his bed if he falls asleep in my bed) insists on coming to my bed but that's not the end of it he cries over silly things his water (it turned yucky he needs new water) his pacifier (yes a problem I need to get rid of it but he literally won't fall asleep without it) and often we don't know why he's crying... I'm 17 weeks pregnant and it's getting really really uncomfortable to have him in my bed and it's really really disruptive. He won't go to my husband only me... no matter how many times a night we move him back to his back he's always back in my bed...

The craziest thing is until about a year ago he had sleep apnea we would here him every night through the monitor snoring away waking up for a few seconds moaning and then go back to sleep but we almost never had to go into him we just heard how disrupted his sleep was. He had his tonsils and adenoids removed and we had about about a month of great sleep he didn't wake up he sounded good etc and then this all started... At first it wasn't so bad he would just come to my bed and I was able to transfer him back etc but it got gradually worse and in the last week or two or so it got really really bad (although he will sometimes randomly have a good night and he will stay in his own bed... Can't work out what causes that...)

Anyways I'm up for like the third time with him tonight and I'm slowly or not slowly loosing it I'm literally hiding from him in the bathroom right now bc I can't take luckily it sounds like he let my husband deal with him but he's also loosing it with him he's getting disturbed too... Any and all advice welcome...

FranticFrummie

Tue, Aug 17 2021, 6:02 am

Does he still need diapers at night? If so, start weaning him off having water in bed.

When he wakes up, do you take him straight to the toilet? Tuck him back in bed, and tell him what a good boy he is for going in the bathroom.

Is it possible that he's having nightmares? Kids start having them around 2 1/2, but they don't have the language to tell you what's wrong. A good question is "When you sleep, does your brain tell you stories? Are the stories scary sometimes?" Reassure him that this happens because his brain is bored. If he doesn't like the scary story, he can say to himself "I don't like that, tell me a nice story!" Then he needs to lie in bed and think about nice things, so his brain will give him a nice story when he falls back to sleep.

Another one, sleepwalking. Does he speak clearly, seem to know where he is, are his eyes focused? DD was a sleepwalker for many years. She'd walk into the kitchen and say "Mama, I... um... yeah... OK..." I figured out that she needed the bathroom, so I'd lead her there, and when she was done I'd tuck her back in. The next morning she never remembered a thing!

Will post more as I think of it.

amother

Tue, Aug 17 2021, 12:18 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Wow you wrote a lot of good stuff here! He wears underwear at night so that's not the issue we make sure he goes to the bathroom before he goes to sleep and the few times he didn't we know he needs the bathroom he really dislikes going in the night though so we do try as much as we can to avoid that.

Nightmares and night terrors are a possibility he does sometimes get night terrors those are very clear and it's when his sleep schedule is messed up which come to think of these last few weeks his bedtime routine has not been great he's taking longer to fall asleep etc. Maybe the.night terrors arents as major but he still see agitated when he wakes up in the night these days... Maybe that's what we have to focus on especially as school starts next week and he needs to start waking up earlier.

Last night he came downstairs and didn't want to sit with me, he went over to the toys pulled out a stacking toy and brought it to the middle of the living room and was just taking off pieces and throwing them down but not very forcefully or aggressively all while crying I just left him to it until he wanted to come to me and when he did took him back upstairs that seemed like a kind of sleepwalking scenario but that's the first time he has done that. Usually he comes to my room and often if I'm not in bed yet he will just put himself back to sleep there and I will find him there when I come. Other times he cries and I have to go calm him...

Anyways lots of good food for thought in this one, thanks again!

FranticFrummie

Tue, Aug 17 2021, 4:00 pm

If he dislikes going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, stand nearby and tell him "I'm right here". Find out what is bothering him about going at night, that doesn't bother him in the day. Maybe you need a brighter nightlight in there, or maybe there's a creepy shadow. Try cutting back liquids an hour or so before bedtime.

The best thing to do is to interact with him as little as possible. No direct eye contact, speak as softly as possible, and don't talk more than you need to. Take his hand, and lead him back to bed. Tuck him in, stroke his hair, kiss his forehead, and leave the room. Don't even say "Goodnight".

Night terrors and sleep walking often go hand in hand. It's a disruption of the sleep cycle, and the brain gets all confused over which stage it's supposed to be in.

The one and only time I ever sleepwalked, was when I took an Ambien on a Friday night. Apparently, I got up in the middle of the night, turned on every light switch in the house, and ate ALL the food that I had prepared for Shabbos lunch. Surprised

I'll never take Ambien again.