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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants
Tips/ideas for sending to babysitter & is this ok to do?



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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 7:03 pm
My baby is iyh going to a babysitter when school starts from 9-3.
It will be 1 morah and 4 other babies.

Please do not share your opinion on this. I tried so hard to find a small group and thats the smallest I could find.

This is our first baby.

My husband is very nervous (rightly so!) to leave our baby witha stranger. I spoke to references and they were all very happy with her. My husband told me he plans on "popping" in randomly when hes in the area to check on our baby. is this something that is acceptable to do for a babysitting group?

I also wanted to know how you keep track of what your baby ate, what time they shluffed etc? Do you keep a notebook in their diaper bag and have the babysitter fill it out everyday? Do you have her text her? is it a reasonable request to have her monitor the babys daily activity?

Im totally not a helicopter mom, just a nervous ftm! Until now my baby has been with my parents while I worked
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 7:31 pm
Popping in is terrible for the baby, will make her cry and get sad.
I would talk to references to check out.
Normal is to ask did he/ she eat and how long did they sleep. Anything more than that is a little much in my opinion.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 7:32 pm
notshanarishona wrote:
Popping in is terrible for the baby, will make her cry and get sad.
I would talk to references to check out.
Normal is to ask did he/ she eat and how long did they sleep. Anything more than that is a little much in my opinion.


thanks. baby is 7 months ...
sometimes I dont think she knows im her mom, she goes to everyone and is always smiling and laughing with people
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cupcake123




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 7:33 pm
The babysitter will let you know when he ate/napped dont worry.
And btw 1:4 ratio is amazing!
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 7:38 pm
cupcake123 wrote:
The babysitter will let you know when he ate/napped dont worry.
And btw 1:4 ratio is amazing!


its 1:5
trying not to worry TMI
babysitter told me she doesnt mind if the first week I stay for a bit or pick my baby up early
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Just One




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 7:41 pm
When I started very young kids with someone new I popped in several times with some excuse. Forgot paci, bottle, pick up early for apt.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 7:42 pm
Just One wrote:
When I started very young kids with someone new I popped in several times with some excuse. Forgot paci, bottle, pick up early for apt.



wow thats smart
pick up early for apt- wouldnt I have to tell her im picking up baby early?
I like the bottle and paci ones... if only my baby took a paci tho lol
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 7:42 pm
I've only used licensed daycare centers but it's pretty standard for them to give a record of diapers and when baby slept and ate. (They weren't always perfectly updated, but we at least had a general sense so we knew when they needed to eat and nap again, and how they were doing. Also while it might be confusing for the baby if you pop in all the time, I don't think it's a bad thing to do very rarely. I'd be worried if a babysitter didn't want surprise visits.
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amother
Currant


 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 7:44 pm
The babysitters usually tell you when your baby ate or slept IME. I've used many babysitters over the years.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 7:44 pm
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:
I've only used licensed daycare centers but it's pretty standard for them to give a record of diapers and when baby slept and ate. (They weren't always perfectly updated, but we at least had a general sense so we knew when they needed to eat and nap again, and how they were doing. Also while it might be confusing for the baby if you pop in all the time, I don't think it's a bad thing to do very rarely. I'd be worried if a babysitter didn't want surprise visits.


No licensed daycares in my area.
How did they record diapers/what they ate? via a notebook?
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allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 7:46 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
wow thats smart
pick up early for apt- wouldnt I have to tell her im picking up baby early?
I like the bottle and paci ones... if only my baby took a paci tho lol


Not really. You can forget to tell her. (It doesn’t even need to be an appointment for baby- it can be an appointment for you or errands you have to run, so you need to pick up the baby early because you won’t be able to pick the baby up at the usual time.)
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amother
Latte


 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 7:50 pm
notshanarishona wrote:
Popping in is terrible for the baby, will make her cry and get sad.


As a therapist who's been around in playgroups and etc, who has seen a lot of what goes on when parents aren't around, I don't think this is a bad idea to drop in randomly to check on things.

That being said I don't think it's fair on the babysitter to do it all the time but once in a while droping in randomly bec say you forgot to send a bottle (like do drop off and run back ten minutes later bec you forget the bottle in the car) or whatever (you can "forget " on purpose) with your baby is fine. As for making the baby upset, lots of time you can go in quietly without the baby noticing.

B'h a majority of babysitters out are amazing - hugging and kissing the babies in their care are really loving them. But there are exceptions so it's always better to be safe then sorry.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 7:50 pm
allthingsblue wrote:
Not really. You can forget to tell her. (It doesn’t even need to be an appointment for baby- it can be an appointment for you or errands you have to run, so you need to pick up the baby early because you won’t be able to pick the baby up at the usual time.)


I feel like thats being sneaky Hiding
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 7:52 pm
my only concern is I spoke to a mom who sent to her for 2 years and she told me this morah isnt the lovey dovy type. like she isnt kissing and hugging the kids all day.

when I mentioned that to dh he said, what do I need a stranger kissing X for?
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trixx




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 8:03 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
thanks. baby is 7 months ...
sometimes I dont think she knows im her mom, she goes to everyone and is always smiling and laughing with people


She absolutely knows you're the mother! She doesn't yet understand separation which will happen around 8-9 months and that's when you'll see anxiety, crying when you leave the room etc. Afraid of strangers, won't want to go to morah
All normal
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mrs me




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 8:10 pm
One of my babysitters told me when I picked up “she ate at this time… slept for x amount of time … “

My current babysitter texts me randomly in middle of the day “I started feeding her at 10:35… she took a while to burp. I’m giving her the second half of the bottle now… “ I actually love this cuz I like hearing how she’s doing throughout the day… she’ll text me at the end of the day… “she’s still sleeping from 12:30- do you want me to wake her and feed her or should I let her nap so you can nurse when you get back?”

Love that!

Each babysitter is different and has a different system. You can call her now and ask “looking forward to starting iyH… wanted to hear more about your procedures so I know what to expect … how do you keep record of feedings and nap time .. is it ok if I call and check on her throughout the day …? Etc
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mommyhood




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 8:24 pm
Mine writes down for me what time the baby napped and ate and hands it to me. We still talk about the baby's day but this way nothing important gets forgotten.
Your husband popping is probably not going to help. Most babysitters aren't comfortable with fathers coming into their home especially during the day when no one else is there, more likely she'd ask him to wait by the door. If you're able to pop in that would be better but definitely don't do it often it really is disruptive.
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helpful




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 23 2021, 9:49 pm
I pop into the sitter at random hours sometimes, such as picking up early without notice. It's no big deal and I get to see what's going on.
As far as the baby's schedule, my sitter tells me what my baby's schedule was. With other sitters I've used in the past, I had to ask them, but they always knew.
If your sitter doesn't keep track, you can request that she writes it down and fills you in at the end of the day.
Good luck
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