Help me think of a punishment

amother

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 9:30 am

I'm livid.

Today I drove DS,8, to school and when he got out of the car I noticed he wrote the words "poop, pee and fart" on the armrest in pen.
I want to discuss it with him calmly and prepared.
I need a pretty serious punishment. He is a smart kid bh and knows better.

His daily privileges include watching an hour and 1 dessert. I don't think these would be enough.

Any ideas?

NotInNJMommy

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 9:32 am

He should need to work at cleaning it up, and lose his "watching" (I assume videos or something?) privilege until it's cleaned up or he can "work" off chores to pay you back for professional cleaning of the armrest. I would not touch food as a consequence.

#BestBubby

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 9:40 am

I am known as the strict one but this does not upset me that much. His friends are into toilet humor. They think it is hillarious to write this on their school desks

So lose one day screens and dessert and he should clean it off.

Main crime is ruining someone elses property. If he had written it on his own stuff would not matter.

It bothers me when mothers accept their kids being ABUSIVE of others yelling insulting and hitting. This is not abuse.

#BestBubby

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 9:44 am

This is how I handle toilet humor.

Dont get angry or act shocked. act bored.

Ask DS do Totty and Mommy think toilet words are funny? Only LITTLE kids think its funny. and walk away.

Chayalle

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 9:45 am

amother [ Oatmeal ] wrote:

Tell him he needs to try get the ink off in the time he usually would have watched.

this.

And OP, we don't need serious punishments for 8 year olds. Just consequences to their actions.

trixx

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 9:49 am

#BestBubby wrote:

I think this is the first time I agree with your parenting advice!
No need for punitive punishments. Logical consequence is to clean it off, and he can use his screen time to do so.
Keep the food out of it, there's no connection.

crust

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 9:54 am

#BestBubby wrote:

This is how I handle toilet humor.

Dont get angry or act shocked. act bored.

Ask DS do Totty and Mommy think toilet words are funny? Only LITTLE kids think its funny. and walk away.

We agree.
I guess this calls for a kiddush.

amother

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 9:57 am

#BestBubby wrote:

I'm not sure why you decided I was upset about the toilet humor.
I am livid about the pen on car. Which is leased and needs to be returned.

thunderstorm

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 9:58 am

crust wrote:

OP I wouldn't take away screen time or desert.
Making him wash it off is enough.

Agree. It won’t be easy to clean it off and that is challenging enough.

keym

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 9:59 am

Before you respond, think seriously which bothers you the writing/damaging property or the toilet humor.
How would you feel if he colored hearts and butterflies and love you Mommy on the armrest?
How do you feel about him sharing toilet jokes with his friends?
Which is it?
If it's the coloring/damaging property, then he needs to clean it
If it's toilet humor, well that's life. Make sure you/your husband/adults in his life aren't making off-color jokes, let him know that you don't find it humorous because adults don't talk like that and IGNORE.

Chayalle

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 10:00 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm not sure why you decided I was upset about the toilet humor.
I am livid about the pen on car. Which is leased and needs to be returned.

So he will have to clean up what he wrote.

And you need to calm down. Eight year olds do stupid things sometimes. We as parents need to show them the way, preferably keeping our own emotions in check.

crust

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 10:08 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm not sure why you decided I was upset about the toilet humor.
I am livid about the pen on car. Which is leased and needs to be returned.

I understand why you're upset. (Livid is an overreaction)

He might be mature but I have an 8 year old that doesn't realize he writes until it is written.

Giving him a punishment will only make me carry out my own frustration but it won't help the child remember for next time.

Making him wash it off is also too much of a task because I'm not sure it can possibly come off but he should at least try.

amother

Mintcream

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 10:15 am

I think you should make him take a note to class about what he did and embarrass him.

thunderstorm

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 10:16 am

amother [ Mintcream ] wrote:

I think you should make him take a note to class about what he did and embarrass him.

I hope you are kidding!!!! This would be extremely damaging to the child if you were serious about this.

heidi

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 10:21 am

I'm just wondering if he wrote those words bcz he was angry about something and that was his way of expressing himself. So definitely check the motivation. I would be angry about the disrespecting property and have him try to clean it. Let him understand that sometimes our actions have far reaching consequences (like the inability to remove the pen).

top mom

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 10:22 am

amother [ Mintcream ] wrote:

I think you should make him take a note to class about what he did and embarrass him.

Blessing1

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 10:24 am

amother [ Mintcream ] wrote:

I think you should make him take a note to class about what he did and embarrass him.

I hope you're not serious.