Life hack: send your teens and pre-teens shopping

amother

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 2:39 pm

So I’m pregnant and it’s an oven out there. So I decided to send my bored nine year old dd to buy her own shells and accessories for YT. I was a bit hesitant at first because she’s my oldest and I’ve no idea what is age-appropriate. She happens to be a super-capable and opinionated kid.
Anyway, she came home and I don’t know who was happier she or I.
I’m not this super-trendy person so I don’t always know what’s in. But this extroverted child of mine knew exactly what she wanted. And was able to get it for herself! She is so darn proud of her accomplishment!
And I’m seeing a future where I don’t have to run all over town to get these pesky little matchy matchy details.
So why don’t people send their kids shopping? Is it because they need to be in charge exactly of what gets bought? Or they don’t trust the kid? I really wonder.

amother

Lightgreen

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 2:43 pm

We send our kids shopping by themselves at an appropriate age. 9 years old is not age appropriate in my opinion. Where we live, nothing is walking distance so we wait till the kids are old enough to take a cab or bus by themselves.

amother

Eggshell

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 2:44 pm

Because I’m most places it is not safe for a 9 year old to go alone.
I do not leave a 9 year old alone in a house and I personally would not send a 9 year old out to go to a store unattended. A 13 year old who be a different story.

But one must parent as they see fit

Elfrida

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 2:46 pm

Most teenagers are capable of doing this, and if not they need to learn. Not every none year old is.

They also need to be able to use public transport or walk to the relevant shops.

amother

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 2:46 pm

amother [ Eggshell ] wrote:

Not even to the grocery? Next year she won’t be eligible for transportation anymore and will have to walk to school.

Mommy1:)

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 2:49 pm

my kids are not old enough for this yet, but I can anticipate some issues that may come up, including that children/teens may not :

place as much importance in budgeting or know appropriate costs
may purchase something trendy for the moment but not classy enough to last more than one season
may select something that doesn't fit well
may choose an item that doesn't match the wardrobe
keep quality of the item in mind

That being said - I certainly see the value in the time and hassle saved by not going clothing shopping with each child! For some it may be worth the $$

mha3484

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 2:52 pm

I have been gradually letting my son who will be 11 in a few months have more independence this summer. I just let him go to a store for the first time this week. I had pre paid for a sefer he needed for school so he just had to ask for it at the counter and go home. Maybe sometime this year he will learn more shopping skills but I am not sure yet. When he was 9 I would not have felt comfortable sending him anywhere by himself.

amother

Lightgreen

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 2:52 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Not even to the grocery? Next year she won’t be eligible for transportation anymore and will have to walk to school.

Do you live in Israel? It's the only country I can think of that this is common. I don't think it's safe for a 9 year old to be out shopping on their own. If the grocery is right near the house, yes, I'd send a 9 year old. But not out to town on a shopping spree.

amother

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 2:55 pm

Mommy1:) wrote:

I did not send her clothing shopping! It was accessories. The items were 20$ max each, besides the shell, which I was specific about.
Also, I knew which stores I’m sending her to. So I knew what quality or price-range. I was specific about sizing. Wrote everything down. And she is better at matching her wardrobe than I am.

amother

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 2:57 pm

amother [ Lightgreen ] wrote:

No. But these stores are all within a 2 block radius of my house. Her school is a lot further than that.

amother

Lightgreen

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 2:57 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

9 years old is a little kid. Not a pre teen. And not old enough to be out shopping on their own.

amother

Blue

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 2:59 pm

This is the reason we miss living in BP.

Where I live now, the only store my kids could walk to alone is Rita's. Lol
The Closest grocery is a 7 min. Drive.

amother

Brunette

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 3:01 pm

Good for u OP!! You know ur daughter best! I think it’s just fine.
For those Lakewooders - I see little chassish kids from oak and vine all the time in evergreen and I think it’s perfectly safe.
We live in a generation on helicoptering. It’s ok to let them out on their own

mha3484

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 3:04 pm

I am the farthest thing from a helicopter parent but I think there are still limits. I think a kid aged 11/12/13 could be mature enough for this scenario but any age below that is really pushing it. Maybe OP's daughter was totally fine but a lot of kids wont be which is why its not commonly done.

amother

Lightgreen

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 3:05 pm

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

There are so many crazies out there, it's not ok for young kids to go shopping on their own. It's not a generation of helicopter parents, it's a generation of moe awareness.

amother

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 3:06 pm

mha3484 wrote:

Explain to me what not fine would look like? What’s the worst that can happen? Do you not let your nine year olds out of the house?

amother

Lightgreen

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 3:11 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Explain to me what not fine would look like? What’s the worst that can happen? Do you not let your nine year olds out of the house?

You can never know who can approach her, talk to her, touch her.....
My 9 year old plays outside in front of the house unsupervised and only if there are other kids outside as well. Further than that, she doesn't go alone.
She doesn't cross the street on her own, she's certainly to young to go shopping on her own.

amother

Eggshell

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 3:12 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Explain to me what not fine would look like? What’s the worst that can happen? Do you not let your nine year olds out of the house?

I did not let my 9yo out unsupervised. Clearly you are very sheltered if you need to ask what is the worst that can happen. 99 % of the time everything is fine. I am not willing to take that change.