I got a call from Amazon.

amother

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 4:39 pm

You know this huge company that owns almost 50% of the world's retail?

Guess what?
They called me.

Yes. Plain simple me. Sitting in my kitchen on a simple Wednesday afternoon waiting for my kids to come home from swimming.

No prior warning. No drama.

The phone rang. The caller ID told me it is JB Grocery. I knew I dont shop in such a store but I thought maybe someone is looking for one of my kids so I picked up and casually said hello.

A computerized voice on the other end informed me that somoene has stolen $599 from my Amazon account and if I want to resolve this I should press 1.

Now, I know no one steals something that was never there but I thought hey, now is my chance to sneak in and talk to a head honcho in Amazon.

Who doesn't want to get a chance to talk to someone in Amazon? You never know. It could be Jeff himself. Can't miss a chance.

So, of course I pressed 1.

After 2 rings a man said hello. I immediately realized that it is not Jeff but I held out. Maybe its his agent.

He asked me how can I help you?
I was flattered. Amazon wants to help me!
Plain simple me sitting in my kitchen on a Wednsday evening.

I wanted to tell him that I don't have dinner yet. That I need a new couch because my old one is garbage. That I need new pillows. That we need a bigger car. A bigger home.

I wanted to say so many things. After all, I'm not sure when I will have a chance again to talk to someone there.

But being the person that I am, I tried to reciprocate his kindness at least with words.
I asked him how can I help you?

I heard a muffled voice and some other voices in the background.
And then I heard a dial tone.
A dial tone.

That's it.
Over.
No more Amazon. No more call. No more help.

It was over just as fast and as sudden as it came.

Now I'm sitting here in grief on a simple Wednesday evening that seemed like its going somewhere.

Sigh.

imasinger

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 4:40 pm

cnc

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 4:48 pm

😉😀

trixx

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 4:50 pm

I thought this might be a mashal about the king in the field lol

BrachaVHatzlocha

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 4:50 pm

Oh man. You missed the opportunity to pay them to help you recover your funds!

mommy3b2c

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 5:04 pm

Why are you anonymous ? I love your sense of humor

amother

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 5:30 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

Why are you anonymous ? I love your sense of humor

Thanks!
Because I can't risk shiduchim. No dinner. Couch is old. Car is small. Home feels small.

Would you want? Wink

tp3

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 5:37 pm

Probably a scam. I'm glad they hung up on you.

clowny

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 5:54 pm

Thanks for the laugh op.

octopus

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 5:59 pm

Too funny! Had to read it to my dh!

Boca00

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 6:26 pm

Hey I got the same call!

Love this.

mommy3b2c

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 6:34 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thanks!
Because I can't risk shiduchim. No dinner. Couch is old. Car is small. Home feels small.

Would you want? Wink

If your daughter has your sense of humor, then yes. I have a bunch of boys .

amother

DarkCyan

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 6:38 pm

octopus wrote:

Too funny! Had to read it to my dh!

Same! Love this!

amother

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 6:47 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

If your daughter has your sense of humor, then yes. I have a bunch of boys .

Ye... big time!
I'll pm you

hodeez

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 6:49 pm

Reminds me of a call I got from Consolidated Edison LOL

Kinor Dovid

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 6:51 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Ye... big time!
I'll pm you

Please invite us if there’s a mazel Tov!!
Also Jeff from Amazon

amother

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 6:52 pm

Boca00 wrote:

Hey I got the same call!

Love this.

Jeff's on a roll tonight

amother

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 6:53 pm

BrachaVHatzlocha wrote:

Oh man. You missed the opportunity to pay them to help you recover your funds!

Look. Its not me that gave him the dial tone.

mommy3b2c

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 7:01 pm

amother [ Hosta ] wrote:

Please invite us if there’s a mazel Tov!!
Also Jeff from Amazon

My oldest only 14, so don’t hold your breath 😂

amother

Electricblue

Wed, Aug 25 2021, 7:10 pm

Quote:

I thought this might be a mashal about the king in the field lol

Hey thanks for reminding me to change my desktop background!
(Not sure if you can read the text, it says the king is in the field)