DS5 punched a hole in his wall

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Fri, Aug 27 2021, 4:53 pm

I plan on getting it fixed before sukkos, but I think it is a good lesson for him to see the hole. He says that he feels embarrassed when he looks at it and wants to cover it with some artwork. WWYD?

mha3484

Fri, Aug 27 2021, 4:58 pm

I think feeling embarrassed for a short period of time its fine but it needs a limit appropriate for his age. If it just happened now I would not make him stare at it until sukkos. I think covering it with something is fine.

My son once insisted on taking a hot chocolate on the bus while wearing a white shirt and he would not listen to reason so I said fine. He spilled and was super embarrassed so I let him have the natural consequence of that feeling until I left the house to go to work and dropped off a clean shirt. His rebbe agreed with me. He learned his lesson in an age appropriate way.

naomi2

Fri, Aug 27 2021, 5:23 pm

The embarrassment from op story is the child feeling ashamed of his behavior while the second story is a boy feeling embarrassed in front of peers because of the way he looks. the second kind is worse and should be avoided.

Op if he doesn't share the room with others maybe his artwork can be a decorated sign that reads " take a deep breath and count to ten" or maybe tell him he will have to pay for part of the repair from his own money if he has. Even $5 could be enough

FranticFrummie

Sat, Aug 28 2021, 3:41 pm

There are lots of ways of handling the hole after the fact, but whatever you choose, make sure you get down the they WHY behind it.

Then get to the why behind the why. He was having a tantrum, but what was the tantrum about? Was it really about that thing, or is there something deeper that's bothering him. Sometimes a tantrum is not just a tantrum, but the tip of the iceberg.

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