Little girls playing on shabbos

amother

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 8:10 am

So I’m a boy mom. My boys usually have other boys Over to play. The play Lego or soldier or play Mobil or chess or sports.
Lately they’ve become friends with a family that has three little girls who love coming over. The thing is they don’t play, they just sit, and touch all the door knobs and stand on the couch and the girls sit with their skirts all the way up that I can see them sitting on my couch in their underwear. It’s really grossing me out but since I have no experience with girls I’m wondering if this is normal?

(The only other experience with girls I have is my nieces, who wear pants and shorts, so they don’t have this problem.)

amother

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 8:13 am

amother [ Jasmine ] wrote:

Just remind them to pull down their skirts.
Maybe they like watching.
Offer them a toy.

I’ve tried offering toys.
I don’t feel right telling them that but if that’s the norm I guess I will.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 8:14 am

Yes it’s normal. Little girl panties grossing you out, is not that normal. Just remind them to sit tznius with a friendly smile and move on. And what does that mean they don’t play? Give them toys to play with and they’ll play. Little girls like to play too.

amother

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 8:15 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

My den is full of toys. All over. In the closet, and set up around the room. They don’t play. They just sit on the couch stand on the couch or stand around. (Maybe because I don’t have dollhouses etc?)

amother

Valerian

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 8:17 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

How little?
Not sure why they are touching the doorknobs and standing on the couch.
I am an only girls mom and from my experience my girls play and sit the way you describe when they are 3 and 4 (which is why I like when they wear biker shorts, but that doesn't always happen).

amother

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 8:23 am

amother [ Valerian ] wrote:

3, 4 and 6

amother

Mauve

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 8:26 am

It’s disturbing that it’s grossing you out. Do you really think all little girls like this? Were you ever a little girl? Were you just as gross sitting with your skirt hiked up and touching doorknobs? Maybe they are stressed around you because they feel your message that you see them as gross. Girls play with Lego, playmobil, cars and balls too. This has to be a joke.

amother

Diamond

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 8:28 am

I don't really understand - your boys are friendly with them but they just sit around and don't play with each other? If you don't mind having them and your boys want them tell them they could play a game together for a half an hour then I'd give them a little treat and tell them to go home. Why do you need to entertain them? I would tell them nicely that in my house there is a rule that shoes aren't allowed on the couch and neither is standing or jumping (I do say this!). You can also say that we sit properly in the couch like young ladies (I would leave out tznius so they don't tell their mom you said they weren't tznius). But really I wouldn't let them sit for more than 2 minutes either play or go home..

causemommysaid

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 8:29 am

Ur grossed out by their underwear? That's so odd. I'm not even sure what that means.

Just say sit tznius and try to give them something to play with.

Do your boys like when they come?

amother

Seagreen

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 8:42 am

This post is so odd

Please don’t stand on the couch.

Come over here, we have so many toys. Do you like puzzles? How about magnatiles? We have games. What do you like to play with at home ?

And little girls panties should NOT gross you out. I don’t even know how to respond to such an usual, juvenile comment

amother

Blue

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 8:43 am

It shouldn't gross you out. That's your issue, not theirs. Just remind them to pull down their skirts, but also don't make a big deal out of it. They'll learn.

As for toys, why not ask their mother what they like to play on shabbat? I have all girls and their favorite toys are Playmobil and magna tiles, but also Barbies, dress up, and other things you might not really have around with only boys.

lamplighter

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 8:47 am

This is a very unusual post.

Little girls underwear isn't gross. Just remind them to sit nicely/pull their skirts down. I'm sure they are used to being reminded about that.

Little girls play with toys just like little boys do. They may not like roughhousing the same but toys? Offer some toys.

They may be shy or they may enjoy watching the boys play like it's a show. It's ok.
They will get more comfortable and play toys after a while.

imaima

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 8:53 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

How small are they? At certain age girls are taught to make sure their skirts don't lift. Until that age the adult in charge fixes their skirts. If there is no adult, then other people have to just politely ignore the view.

amother

Birch

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 8:54 am

I'm also a boy mom and why on earth does this gross you out? What a weird thing to say/feel.

They probably feel shy. Or possibly feel that watching boys play is more fun than anything else!

naomi2

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 8:56 am

Usually girls play with toys just like boys do. You are right that their behavior is a little out of the ordinary. Sometimes kids just don't have the skill of playing or are super shy. As far as the underwear goes, that's normal. Are you generally afraid of germs? Like obsessively?

amother

Cantaloupe

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 8:59 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

3, 4 and 6

It is to expect from a 3 or 4 year olds, and a 6 y.o. may also still need a friendly reminder.
If there is no parent around, who else is supposed to tell them they are showing? I don't get your attitude. If you host such young kids, you need to kinda take care of them a bit.

amother

Glitter

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 9:09 am

Are you making fun of my little ones teeny red hearts, mini pepa pigs, or pink hello kitty? Shame on you

I had my girls first so I can’t relate, so maybe this gross feeling can be normal, 🤔
How about suggesting that they bring one of their toys to your house to show your boys.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Aug 29 2021, 9:12 am

At 3, 4, and 6, in an all girl house (except for dad), it makes sense that they are a little careless about their hemlines. I'm assuming that you don't live in a community where tights at age 3 are the norm. (IMHO bike shorts are a must for a little girl. I remember them when I was growing up, and DD wore them too.)

What I'm curious about, is why are these little girls at your home to begin with? Does the mom need a break, and you're doing a mitzva? Did the girls just show up on your doorstep one day, and you don't know how to tell them "no"?

You don't seem to be very comfortable having them around, so maybe you should help the mom find some other girls in the neighborhood to send to. BTW, doorknobs are made to be touched. How else do you open your doors?

I'm still confused why someone would send 3 little girls to an all boys home. It just feels odd to me. There must be a lot more to the story.