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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Organizing
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amother
Mustard
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 Mon, Aug 30 2021, 12:44 am
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What does dh do? How's his commute?
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amother
Forestgreen
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Mon, Aug 30 2021, 12:50 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | My mother in law has a lot of energy she runs the house on her own without her husband at all 12 kids basically a year apart. She would walk to the hospital while in labor to have her babies. My husband understands that that's not the norm however he still expects me to do something. Anyone have any ideas why I wouldn't have energy |
Because Hashem didnt grant you the amount of energy that his mother has. Sheesh.
Your husband needs a reality check. Can he speak to anybody about this?
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amother
OP
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Mon, Aug 30 2021, 12:50 am
| amother [ Mustard ] wrote: | | What does dh do? How's his commute? |
He's in kollel still he walks were only married a few years
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Sewsew_mom
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Mon, Aug 30 2021, 12:55 am
You need to lay off doing anything and your husband needs a reality check.
Also on ur vacation check your blood and rule out mono and all these things that creep on us overly exhausted working moms.
Please don't have another baby yet while feeling this way. You need your energy. Each child brings more challenges.
Good luck.
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amother
Mustard
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Mon, Aug 30 2021, 1:02 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | He's in kollel still he walks were only married a few years |
Time to get a job then. He has absolutely no idea what your life is like.
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amother
Melon
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Mon, Aug 30 2021, 11:54 am
If you're very tired it's a good idea to go for a checkup. There can be so many medical reasons for fatigue. Were you always this way, or is it new?
How much does your husband help?
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amother
OP
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Mon, Aug 30 2021, 12:08 pm
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I was always a little on the weak side but this is new
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amother
Snowdrop
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Mon, Aug 30 2021, 1:59 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | I was always a little on the weak side but this is new |
Oy, op.
Similar situation.
But (thanks is to this site) I give myself a lot of self love and make sure to take care of myself first.
I'm naturally weak.
I worked similar hours and a commute.
Dh just didn't feel a cleaning lady was necessary.
Well, too bad.
I added cleaning help to my budget.
I still find it hard to get a cleaning lady, so when u can't and if the only thing I can do is throw at the garbage, then so be it.
Zaq gave me a real dressing down one day when I posted and her voice still speaks to me this very day.
Eta: Also, I got my bloodwork checked and BH everything came back fine.
Womg a naturally weak person ,having an active toddler, a f/t job and commute, the mental load of running my home(even if physically I unable to be on top of it) takes a toll. Being kind to myself gives me small boosts. No one else will take care of me of I don't take care of myself
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dankbar
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Mon, Aug 30 2021, 2:46 pm
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Check your thyroid levels? Iron? Lyme? CMV? Could it be ADD? Depression?
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geemum
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Wed, Sep 01 2021, 1:29 pm
Full time work plus 2 hour commute with baby, responsibility for house all on one person is unrealistic. Ask your husband to take responsibility for a part of the housework and babycare.
You are human with limitations - that's normal!
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multitaskingmom
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Wed, Sep 01 2021, 2:05 pm
* It could be you are dehydrated also, make sure you are 2 liters of water a day
* I'm pretty high energy but what drains me the most of anything is emotional fatigue - fretting about an argument I had, or worrying about something (such as about how little energy I have, in which case it's recursive  )
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strawberry cola
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Wed, Sep 01 2021, 2:14 pm
Say "I'm sorry, but in order to take care of our family and home and myself, I need cleaning help. " Say it, respectfully, but not as a question.
When I was a young mom, Rebbetzin Zehava Braunstein aleha hashalom told me and many others, "Eat tuna fish for supper and get yourself cleaning help." And she said that in retrospect if she was doing it over, one change she would make was having more cleaning help. You will feel much less tired and have more energy to take care of stuff when you have a cleaner house. Anger breeds exhaustion. Again, I am not suggesting screaming, insulting, or whining. Just say it as you would say "I need a drink." I am getting cleaning help.
I am sure any Rav you would ask would encourage your decision.
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L25
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Wed, Sep 01 2021, 2:41 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | He's in kollel still he walks were only married a few years |
does he have a rabbi he'll listen to? this setup doesn't seem fair to you.
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