Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
I find this unfair
1  2  3  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 5:16 pm
I am so confused. My daughters class got 8th grade jobs today and the 3 top jobs which was divided between 10 girls went to the rich snobby popular (mean) kids. why?

can any teachers involved in this process chime in.
is this the school kissing up to these parents for all the extra donations?
Back to top

GreenEyes26




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 5:21 pm
Uh, yes lol?

I vividly remember a short story contest we had when I was in 12th grade. I think there was a big prize, can’t remember what it was. A ton of stories were submitted, some better than others, but my friends story won. It was just ok. Like, not awful, but there were some way way way better submissions.

It took me years to realize that she was very wealthy and the daughter of a board member 🙈 I never connected the dots, I’m not savvy that way. But clearly someone was throwing her dad a bone.
Back to top

amother
Beige


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 5:21 pm
Funny that the Ami featured a story recently depicting exactly the opposite. The naturally more successful girls, be it because of money, family or brains never got the good jobs, it always went to the girls who needed the boost although the successful girls deserved it too.
Back to top

amother
Peru


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 5:23 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I am so confused. My daughters class got 8th grade jobs today and the 3 top jobs which was divided between 10 girls went to the rich snobby popular (mean) kids. why?

can any teachers involved in this process chime in.
is this the school kissing up to these parents for all the extra donations?


Yes, they are kissing up.

Schools don't care about your kids as much as they say they do, or as much as we think they do.

But it's good to learn this lesson now.... Life is unfair, and the rich are ALWAYS favored - getting into high school, getting into seminary, shidduchim, getting jobs/making deals in business, etc.

Signed,
One who doesn't get this preferential treatment and feels the unfairness too
Back to top

causemommysaid




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 5:24 pm
Of course it's unfair.

Welcome to reality.

Life isn't fair.
Back to top

amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 5:26 pm
Yeah.... welcome to life.

Although who really knows what kinds of cheshbonos the school made.
Back to top

amother
Pistachio


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 5:51 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I am so confused. My daughters class got 8th grade jobs today and the 3 top jobs which was divided between 10 girls went to the rich snobby popular (mean) kids. why?

can any teachers involved in this process chime in.
is this the school kissing up to these parents for all the extra donations?


Unfortunately this goes on in many schools. There are even parents that demand the schools to give their kids prestigious jobs and main parts. It's so sad that the schools are doing this.
Back to top

mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 5:53 pm
amother [ Pistachio ] wrote:
Unfortunately this goes on in all schools. There are even parents that demand the schools to give their kids prestigious jobs and main parts. It's so sad that the schools are doing this.


This does not go on in all schools. I deleted my comment because OP wanted to vent and I didnt think it was helpful but my kids school does not do this. Each job is a total mix of economic status.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 5:54 pm
amother [ Beige ] wrote:
Funny that the Ami featured a story recently depicting exactly the opposite. The naturally more successful girls, be it because of money, family or brains never got the good jobs, it always went to the girls who needed the boost although the successful girls deserved it too.


They probably read the ami and decided to go full force the other way.
Back to top

amother
Pistachio


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 5:55 pm
mha3484 wrote:
This does not go on in all schools. I deleted my comment because OP wanted to vent and I didnt think it was helpful but my kids school does not do this. Each job is a total mix of economic status.

Edited my post to many schools.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 5:58 pm
mha3484 wrote:
This does not go on in all schools. I deleted my comment because OP wanted to vent and I didnt think it was helpful but my kids school does not do this. Each job is a total mix of economic status.

I thought this doesnt happen anymore and that so much has changed since my days in school 20 years ago,hence why I am surprised. your kids are lucky to be in a school that doesnt do this!
Back to top

amother
White


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 6:01 pm
In the school I went to the jobs went to the most popular girls because they weren't mean or snobby. They also had to meet the schools criteria - that they were well behaved students.. I can't even think of one rich kid who got a job.
My kids are all in small schools. In general jobs are divided fairly.
Back to top

amother
Milk


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 6:12 pm
Shout out to Bais Kaila high school.
I’m out over 10 years but this wasn’t the case AT ALL in my day ...
Back to top

amother
DarkViolet


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 6:26 pm
Yes its unfair and if you think its good for the rich and popular kids at least no it isn't.
I wasn't one of those kids baruch hashem never wanted to be. I was actually one of the kids who never got a job in high school we had an uneven amount of girls in my class I was the only one who didn't get a job. Yes they obviously couldn't get away with actually not giving me a job so they joined me with 2 other girls but boy did they make it clear that I wasn't part of the group. Yes there are some staff members I will never forgive because of that. And it's something I always say yes kids have to have derech eretz and are not allowed to answer back but as adults you have to be very careful and make sure that nothing chutzpahdig is going through the child's head precisely because they are not allowed to answer back. Because maybe I wasn't able to answer back when adults wronged me by giving me detention or whatever but guess what they will still have to answer for their actions after 120 and guess what? No hashem won't accept the answer that her parents never stuck up for her, she wasn't related to anyone in the higher ups, her family wasn't rich. No sorry I don't think that will cut it.
As an aside I would never want to be rich or famous that was actually my one wish when it came to shiduchim the boy should not be related to anyone famous.
Back to top

amother
Arcticblue


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 6:29 pm
Why don't the schools let the students vote rather than have administration or teachers do the selecting? Have a class/grade meeting, accept nominations, then do a (secret ballot) vote? I think it would eliminate most of the bad feelings, become even if it is still a bit of a popularity contest, at the end of the day most girls will vote for someone they think will do a good job. It just seems more fair.
Back to top

amother
Sand


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 6:36 pm
Our boys’ school has a dinner every year with a choir. It’s well known that someone high up in administration hand picks the boys who get solos, not the choir director.
Back to top

amother
Skyblue


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 8:00 pm
amother [ Arcticblue ] wrote:
Why don't the schools let the students vote rather than have administration or teachers do the selecting? Have a class/grade meeting, accept nominations, then do a (secret ballot) vote? I think it would eliminate most of the bad feelings, become even if it is still a bit of a popularity contest, at the end of the day most girls will vote for someone they think will do a good job. It just seems more fair.


You would think no? Our school did that, but it was an open secret that the teachers would then rig the votes and choose who they wanted anyway.
Back to top

amother
Arcticblue


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 8:01 pm
amother [ Skyblue ] wrote:
You would think no? Our school did that, but it was an open secret that the teachers would then rig the votes and choose who they wanted anyway.

Obviously it should be done in an open and above board way with no teacher interference at all. Why treat the girls like babies?
Back to top

amother
Moccasin


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 10:49 pm
amother [ Sand ] wrote:
Our boys’ school has a dinner every year with a choir. It’s well known that someone high up in administration hand picks the boys who get solos, not the choir director.


Yes this 1000%%%. My son (who is a very blunt kid )threw a fit & said my school is abnormal Bc the kid can barely sing .
When I menthioned it to the Rebbe, he said that it’s true the parents called and insisted that their kid is picked and his hands were tide .
Back to top

amother
DarkViolet


 

Post Thu, Sep 02 2021, 11:27 pm
amother [ Moccasin ] wrote:
Yes this 1000%%%. My son (who is a very blunt kid )threw a fit & said my school is abnormal Bc the kid can barely sing .
When I menthioned it to the Rebbe, he said that it’s true the parents called and insisted that their kid is picked and his hands were tide .

And you think that's healthy for a kid? The kid knows he can't sing and the only reason he was picked had nothing to do with him or his talents. Do you think he'll feel good at the end of the day? When his parents praise him what a great job he did? When the other kids look at him like hey you know you can't sing...
Back to top
Page 1 of 3 1  2  3  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Feels so unfair re: boys collecting
by amother
40 Mon, Mar 25 2024, 9:57 am View last post
Am I being unfair?
by amother
17 Thu, May 18 2023, 5:16 pm View last post