Living in Gateshead UK

amother

Orange

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 6:58 am

I have family who live in Leeds and kids do commute to manchester but its not easy. One year my neice had a ride, but then she didn't and boarded with families in manchester during the week. Unless you are able to drive your kids a 2 hour round trip or are ok with your kids going by train every day it might be a challenge. Look into what options there are, but bear in mind that things change all the time.

There are 2 primary schools in Leeds, a chabad one called Menorah which is very small where my family go, I don't know much about the other one.

amother

Carnation

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 8:31 am

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

I just looked on rightmove and there is definitely a huge difference, (£200k for 3 bed in manchester vs £400k for Borehamwood) although not sure if I was looking in Jewish areas.

You’re looking in the wrong places.
A house over 200sqm in the area, starts at 350k needing renovation. 400k in liveable condition.

We just bought a 5 bed, edge of the community for 500k.
Same house in centre of community would be 7/800k.

Edgeware is really not that much more expensive.
My friend bought a 4 bed this year for 600k.

It’s a lovely community, I really recommend you look into it OP.

amother

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 9:17 am

amother [ Yellow ] wrote:

Yes Jewish day is more yeshivish.
My kids go here.

I'd call Broughton Jewish modern orthodox.

for my point of view where I come from, there is almost no difference. Ok, my SIL has a lacetop, I don't wear lace tops. My SIL wanted to send her child to Jewish day but she didn't want to bother the things with sheitel length and everything.
What makes Broughton Jewish more modern orthodox? At the end my DH will send our children to Jewish Grammar he still hasn't his hashkafa clear. Because his family is BT and didn't had their own hashkafa clear and only wanted 'black hat' (he is one of the oldest) my MIL also says she didn't know antything of hashkafa and was copying her older brothers and her parents for a long time not looking at the childs interest.
Basically my husband is yeshivish, went a bit to the modern side but we are now about to get help to choose a hashkafa or like do something we are both comfortable in.

I give an example.... my DH wanted as a teen because he had a hard time to be the only one 'good kid' so he wore a suit and black hat giving his mother nachas and comforted his mother when she had a hard time with older children or with the father. But the rules in the yeshivah were strict and he tried not to listen to secular music and then he did and he was angry that the rebbis told him not to do so , and he felt guilty for his parents he did that, he went a while OTD and then came back but in a more modernish levush. Also being angry at the very yeshivish esthablisment. He is really not a person who wants to hold on chumras, but sometimes even don't want to know about halachos. I basicially had to call him once his chosson teacher because he refused to believe it's halacha to have seperate beds. In lots of things he find things extreme because he grew up from traditional (King David schoollike) to hardcore yeshivish that happened almost in over a year. And then with parents who have lots of shalom bayis struggles, financial struggles and a growing family.

Now he accepts my opinion that things are halacha, because I've learned it as halacha when I became frum so we might be get 'frummer' and he is totally suprised when some yeshivish black hat people talk about The Matrix, secular culture and everything... We are close to kollel families who are like that and he really enjoys being with them and he loves them... It's just really hard for him to be I around his parents because they are stuck in their old patern... hoarding, going in huge debts etc.

amother

Yellow

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 9:57 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

A mix of boys go from both schools to Jewish grammar.

I wear a lace front, there aren't such strict rules. Broughton Jewish is a mixed school, boys and girls. Depends what you're really looking for.

Also if Broughton Jewish is something that you're considering then Gateshead definitely isn't the right place for you. There are no schools like it there. Nor like Jewish day as far as I know.

amother

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 11:33 am

amother [ Anemone ] wrote:

What is it that's drawing you to live specifically in the UK? It appears you're not moving to be close to family. Is it careers, schooling, housing prices, language, etc? I think if you list your priorities, it will be easier to find the right kind of community. Good luck!

DH is from the UK, the way of teaching is more to my taste than the country I live in. I don't have a career, I want a community where I can be accepted, and can grow out to be a wonderful jewish mother and everything and have a sense of community.

amother

Anemone

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 11:43 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What does dh do for a living? Will he be able to find work anywhere in the UK? That's obviously a big piece of the question. Does he need to live in a country where he's a citizen? Is it just more comfortable for him? (That is perfectly fine, I'm just trying to help you focus on needs vs. wants.)

It sounds like you want to find a warm and accepting community where schools use a certain kind of educational method. Is that right?

amother

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 11:52 am

amother [ Anemone ] wrote:

He has a job in America he works from home. I want to have an accepting and warm community where we both can grow and thrive and where a kid with learning disabilities, autism or adhd will be accepted and not be seen as a nutcase

amother

Orange

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 12:16 pm

amother [ Carnation ] wrote:

BJ is a mix of modern orthodox and mainstream.
King David is modern orthodox.
Jewish day is yeshivish.

King David students are not really frum. Yavneh (a branch of KD) caters towards M.O students.

I know a new girls school just opened last year, similar style to Jewish High, (I don't know how similar but my friend sent her son to Jewish grammar and her dd to the new school) so the choice of schools are widening, which is both good and bad. Good in that there is more choice, bad in that in each school the box to fit inside is narrower.

There are also chabad and chassidish schools as well, btw.

OP, I would see if you can manage financially in London. Manchester sounds perfect for you if not for the family issues.

amother

Mistyrose

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 12:18 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

so it doesn't sound like Gateshead is for you. I am positive about that. Gateshead is a wonderful community, but you dont sound like you would be part of it, you sound like you would be too modern for a lot of the people to fully accept you and send their kids to play at your house.

amother

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 12:44 pm

Forgive my ignorance, but I'm really curious now. From the perspective where I came from (totally secular) Jewish Day/ BJ style is already frum. It's already a big thing I cover my hair and wear tznius....
What is the major difference between some family in Gateshead who is more modernish then me? And why are they not accepting.
If you put it all like this indeed I wouldn't find it really fitting for us. But I'm really curious, my friend is totally not really 'black' and super chareidi. But maybe that is why she is not still there, I'm just trying to comprehend what I do ''less'' frum. It also hurts me, because I feel like a wannabe, someone who doesn't do it perfect, someone who fails to be frum and is not good enough.

amother

Yellow

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 12:54 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Chas vesholom you don't sound like you've failed in the slightest! Kol hakovod, sounds like you've come really far. It seems that for Gateshead it's not enough just to cover your hair and dress Tznius. It's hard to explain it, maybe go there for a shabbos some time and check it out for yourself. I may be very wrong!

amother

Azalea

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 1:23 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

From your responses you seem to want to find a way to make gateshead fit.
Im not understanding if you're set on it because of the property price (you can't just rock up and buy a house in the frum area) or to prove to yourself you are up to a certain religious level.
If you want the best educational move for your child mentioned above then Golders Green, Hendon, Edgware or Borehamwood are your best options educational wise and support network wise. Edgware and Borehamwood are easily commutable to Golders Green and Hendon and many people do this.
Gateshead mentality is not to do with how you cover your hair or body, its a certain way of life that is hard to describe and you'd really need to visit the place perhaps a few times to understand.