Texting Father in law good Shabbos

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keym

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 8:40 pm

Totally a personality thing.
My Fil literally doesn't understand why someone would text (or call) just to wish Gut Shabbos. I've done it a bit, and he'll say "didn't you call last week? Is everything ok? Why are you calling?"
However, I'll text him pictures, jokes, and updates and he really appreciates that

amother

DarkGray

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 9:40 pm

I spoke to my father in law on the phone every week erev shabbos. Didn’t have MiL then. But I’m sure I’d still say hi even if I had both

amother

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 5:27 pm

amother [ Papayawhip ] wrote:

My fil is a (yeshivish)rav. He text me every Friday gut shabbos and I answer gut shabbos. (Because of time difference he makes shabbos a few hours before me! )

That's so nice!

amother

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 5:32 pm

amother [ Pewter ] wrote:

This is a very interesting thread.
Is it really so weird to text a father in law?
I send pictures every single week before Shabbos.
If I wouldn’t do that I’d need to call or there would be no connection at all so this is much easier for me.
So those who don’t text, when do you speak? Do you speak/call?
I’m curious to hear the responses and if you can write if you’re MO or RW or yeshivish or chassidish etc would be appreciated.
OP, I don’t mean to hijack your thread. Let me know if you want me to start a spin-off.

If you can start a different thread, I would appreciate it.

amother

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 5:35 pm

amother [ Papayawhip ] wrote:

Nasty way of responding!
Don't you know on your own that it's not nice to answer that way?
if she posted here she wanted to hear what other ppl were doing! And no it's not so obvious since plenty of ppl would respond that it's not done in their community!

Thank you very much! I appreciate your post. What you are saying is true.
I appreciate Cognac's confidence in knowing that it's right, but not everyone knows. There is actually halachic boundaries in a relationship with a father in law. It's not so simple. Yes, it is different than a random male, but there are limitations in the relationship. Halachically, not everything that is okay with a father is okay with a father in law. It's not obvious, at all. I'm not sure if you are aware, Cognac, that you are not supposed to have the same relationship with your father in law as you do your father (halachically).

amother

Impatiens

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 5:36 pm

My FIL calls me every Friday to give me the shabbat bracha. He and my MIL have never quite figured out that I don't like getting calls just a few hours before shabbos, and I often don't answer, but I usually send a quick "thanks for the call, have a shabbat shalom" text.

amother

Bellflower

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 5:36 pm

One of my dil's calls dh to say good Shabbos. He doesn't expect it but appreciates that she makes the effort. He looks at it as if one of his kids would call him, not inappropriate and the whole conversation takes two minutes. Unless you're the type of chassidim where men and women don't sit at the same table and don't speak to each other I'd say go ahead and send that text op, but your dh can probably tell you better than me what's considered a normal thing to do in his family.

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