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Would you let her go biking alone?

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Sep 03 2021, 7:45 pm
I do not think it's safe to let my DD (age 16) go mountain biking alone. She and my husband and sometimes other teen going moutain biking together. Apparently my DD was talking with DH recently and she shared she was bored after school or when he is working. He encourged her to take her bike and go moutain biking. I didn't know this conversation happened and my DD asked me if she could go sometimes, alone. I said "no" because I don't want her to be out there alone and with potential for getting hurt. I wouldn't mind if she went with a friend but she doesn't have any friends that share that interest. Now my DH and I are opposed to each other and my DD is angry with me.

Am I being unreasonable? I can't believe my DH would think it's fine for my DD to go out along to do a semi-dangerous sport, alone.
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amother




Stonewash
 

Post Fri, Sep 03 2021, 7:57 pm
I think there's probably a way to split the difference. No is extreme. Unconditional yes may be too.

A specific trail she knows well, taking along a cell phone or other device (gps token, walkie radio, etc), an agreed-upon time frame/check-in times and a helmet is reasonable.

Teens need to learn to safely navigate the world. The girl whose mom says no to everything grows up the woman who is either too terrified to do anything alone, or she avails herself of her adult freedoms and does riskier things with no prep because she was never guided through planning for safety.

I had the "no" mom. Young adulthood saw some pretty stupid adventures in retrospect. B'h I developed an independent streak instead of the terrified one, but I have friends who can't even drive an hour out of town alone because they're the too scared kind...
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twizzlers1




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Sep 04 2021, 1:44 pm
I am not strict with my kids at all but I would never let any of them go mountain biking alone. And my husband used to do this and I was worried more often than not. And he would call me a few times saying he had a flat tire and had no idea where he was And couldn't even get a good GPS signal to figure out how to get to the road. So I feel like biking out of all things if you fall over a big rock you could really really get hurt. I know too many people that got really injured mountain bike riding. If you said that she was in the neighborhood I would say that that's perfectly fine. But there are just a lot of concerns when you're out biking alone.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Sep 04 2021, 7:16 pm
OP, you might find this blog helpful. https://letgrow.org/library/
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amother




OP
 

Post Sat, Sep 04 2021, 10:11 pm
I don't know. Everytime she has gone before, she crashes and hurts herself. BH, it's always minor. But it's not an inocuous sport. She would probably be more careful if she is alone but still doesn't seem like a good idea. I also think it's not a good idea for anyone to go moutain biking alone. Much like swimming alone is not a good idea.
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amother




Brickred
 

Post Sat, Sep 04 2021, 10:15 pm
That sounds dangerous. If she gets hurt she might not be able to reach her phone and call. I don't think I would allow it. There are many activities she can do on her own instead. I don't think this about not giving teens freedom, it's not safe and you don't have to allow your teens to do everything they want to do. I would explain to her that it's not safe to go alone, especially a girl.
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ChutzPAh




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Sep 04 2021, 10:23 pm
Forget about the biking safety issue for a moment. I’d never let a female teen go into the wooded area/long bike trail alone. There could be creeps there.
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dena613




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Sep 04 2021, 11:43 pm
Not safe.
Especially because single frum girls just don't "get it."

I know a girl who likes to go to the beach by herself at sunset -so beautiful and relaxing.
I was horrified!!!
It is not safe for women to be out in secluded/desertes types of places

Totally agree with chutzPAh.

This is nothing to do with the biking injuries, natural dangers, and no phone service aspect.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Sep 05 2021, 9:33 am
I also think about just her being alone and someone taking advantage of her or attacking her, especially if she were out in a wooded area. Despite tznius dress she has a striking head of hair even though she keeps it tied back. But she gets noticed wherever she goes. In my mind, I am imagining the creeps also noticing her and CV’S, taking advantage of her but I have to resist the urge to put her in a box.
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 05 2021, 11:26 am
What chutzPAH said.
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 05 2021, 11:36 am
I would advise any woman of any age against such a plan. Frankly I’d advise any human against going alone into the wilderness but a woman especially, be she ugly as sin and twice as strong. And a young attractive girl who turns heads, yet? I wouldn’t like her to hike alone in our nearby 200-acre park. That’s just asking for trouble.
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