Can I manage without outside help?

amother

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 8:11 am

I still have time. I need a boost of confidence and reality too. Can I manage in my own with just me and my husband and no outside help? Do I really need a baby nurse? I never had a baby nurse with any of my kids and I was just fine. Can I successfully nurse twins exclusively? Am I setting myself up for failure? I can't imagine having a stranger in my home I have zero room. I also have teens who will be so excited to hold babies when they come home from school. While I wouldn't have them do anything else, they are gogga over babies and giving each teen a baby to hold for twenty minutes would give me a break to make supper or go to the bathroom. Is this unrealistic?

amother

Cantaloupe

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 8:18 am

Yes! I think you're being unrealistic! I bh have a newborn now and just going to the bathroom or eating or showering is hard to do... He's not the easiest baby... U never know but I can't imagine having 2 newborns and staying sane with no full time help... I also have teenagers and there are days they came home from school and I had still not had a chance to eat breakfast or get dressed yet because my baby is bh a real full time job:)
Good luck!

amother

NeonPurple

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 8:42 am

Outside help is not always 24 hours help. Sometimes a lady to do your general cleaning and laundry is also a huge help. Also Depends on your family setup. How old one above the twins is. How much tlc your other kids need from u. No 2 ppl are the same and no 2 circumstances are the same.

Exclusively nursing didn't work for me, nursing actually didnt work at all. I ended up bottle feeding them and scheduling them. It was the biggest bracha. They ate & slept well by night and day.

Zehava

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 8:48 am

I would not rely on teens instead of paid help no matter how much they like babies.
So the real question is can you manage by yourself?

amother

Fuchsia

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 9:00 am

You might survive, meaning no one will die, but I don't think it's a sane idea. Your mental health will for sure suffer.
You don't need a nurse, get kits of cleaning help, some babysitting help etc. Maybe someone to cook meals for the first 4 weeks

amother

Honeysuckle

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 9:14 am

I did it without any help but I did not nurse. I don’t think it’s manageable with nursing.

chocolatecake

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 9:25 am

My mom had twins when I was 13. She did not have any outside help. She did both, nursing and bottles. I am sure it was hard for her and I am also sure the house was messier than usual with plenty of grilled cheese for dinner but I have no memories of any dysfunction or even memories of a stressed tired mom. The memories I have of that time are of two delicious babies. My mom did not work at all though and that is a huge factor.

amother

Cadetblue

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 9:40 am

Im currently doing it without hired help and I am exclusively nursing. My older kids help a bit when they are around. (My younger kids make everything harder..)Its manageable but im extremely overwhelmed.

Teomima

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 10:08 am

Can I manage in my own with just me and my husband and no outside help?
Yes.
Do I really need a baby nurse?
No.
Can I successfully nurse twins exclusively?
I didn't, but other people do no problem.
Am I setting myself up for failure?
No. Just be realistic about your expectations. The first couple of months are a sleepless blur.
While I wouldn't have them do anything else, they are gogga over babies and giving each teen a baby to hold for twenty minutes would give me a break to make supper or go to the bathroom.
That's amazing. You're already way ahead of the game if you're going to be able to shower while having newborn twins.
Is this unrealistic?
No.

amother

Lotus

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 10:33 am

I had newborn twins and a one year old I hired a young non English speaking young person as a live in to help with baby’s no cleamingb

amother

Red

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 10:46 am

I personally think it depends on the babies. Some babies are very easy and sleep most of the time and some cry so much and need to be held and rocked.
I think you should go in with an open mind that you might need help..

amother

Cerise

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 10:53 am

I did it without help and regret it. It took a tremendous toll on my marriage and mental health. We’re okay now bh but that time period is not one I like to remember.
20 minutes a day to shower is not enough when you didn’t sleep for weeks.

Newmom12

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 10:54 am

I just had twins recently and here’s my take. I’ve had days with hired help and days with none. I managed on the days without help, but just no it’s almost impossible to run any errands in the beginning the only time I left the house was on a walk with them or to take my other kids to the bus stop- and that was hard. I had to time feedings and adjust them.. so if you’re husband will be able to help you like pick up things from the grocery or pharmacy or stuff like that then yes it’s managable. The nights are slightly harder 2 babies vs one but it’s manageable. Nursing exclusively I did it for the first few weeks, but was depleting my energy like you can’t imagine so I needed to stop but it is possible. Bshaa Tova

amother

Cadetblue

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 1:01 pm

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

Just want to say that its the same for me. Its taking a major toll on my marriage and mental health.