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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants
Are you excited to stay home or not (on roshni hashanah)
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Are you happy to stay home from shul
No I love going to shul and I try to find a babysitter so I can go  
 13%  [ 20 ]
No I love going to shul but I don't have a babysitter  
 34%  [ 49 ]
Yes I never enjoyed going to shul  
 52%  [ 75 ]
Total Votes : 144



amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 12:00 am
Is everyone upset to stop going to shul after they had a baby?
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amother
Midnight


 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 12:12 am
fourth option- I used to love going, then for a while as an older single, I wished I could have a husband to daven for me and kids to stay home with, now I have them BH but also wish I could go to shul...I guess the grass is greener on the other side....I know it's just a temporary stage though and I am doing my tafkid which I am very grateful for, and also that it's temporary and eventually I'll be able to go back.......but still frustrating, especially since I really developed a connection to davening b'tzibur and feel it's hard to be 'stuck' at home....but like I said, VERY grateful I am in this position
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amother
Red


 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 12:13 am
It was weird the first year, but now I'm 11 years in and I enjoy it. I don't have any pressure I can daven whenever at my own pace. And I can't imagine ever going to shul again.
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SG18




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 12:20 am
I enjoyed going to shul, but am so happy that I had a baby this past year, I don't mind staying home with her at all. It's such a bracha.
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YYYY




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 12:30 am
I loved going to shul, but that doesn't mean I'm "upset" to stay home. It's a huge bracha to have such problems.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 12:31 am
I plan to bring my baby to shul.
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YYYY




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 1:28 am
tichellady wrote:
I plan to bring my baby to shul.


Interesting. Never seen that, but maybe it’s the norm where you live.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 1:41 am
YYYY wrote:
Interesting. Never seen that,
but maybe it’s the norm where you live.


Yes it’s the norm where I live
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amother
Opal


 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 1:44 am
YYYY wrote:
Interesting. Never seen that, but maybe it’s the norm where you live.

Depends on the baby. My first was an angelic baby and did fine in shul until around 18 months or so.

After that it was baby AND toddler, so even if I could've brought the baby it was much more complicated.

This year I wish I could go, but I'm not going to fight with DH over whether it's okay to bring kids to shul right now, because every time we argue on this he ends up being right and I end up regretting chancing the exposure.
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 3:14 am
I didn’t enjoy shul growing up, I’m happy to stay home but I would also be happy if I can get 1 tefillah in shul.
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Mayflower




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 3:14 am
The first few years after I became a mother, I had a hard time not going to shul. Then I got used to it, I found a way to daven at home...
However, this year, I feel my oldest daughter is really old enough to be in shul (but she still needs some help navigating the machzor - so I can't just leave her on her own). Not sure what to do - I didn't find a babysitter for my baby.
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 3:29 am
Just an idea for those that want to go to shul- My mother always switched off with neighbors. One went for Shachris and shofar and the other for Mussaf.
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amother
Emerald


 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 4:58 am
Just a little word that gives me chizuk every year. I heard a parable about a king who gave his people a one day opportunity to come over to his palace and ask for their needs. Meanwhile, he reserved a babysitter for his youngsters while the event goes on.
Low and behold, the babysitter shows up in line during the day!
The king yells at her, "You don't need to come and ask for your wants, I will give you whatever you need anyways, Don't worry."
"You were hired to take care of my kids".
We are hired to watch Hashem children, Our "job" is to take care of HIS children now, Iy"h HE will give us what we need regardless.
Gut Yom Tov!
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amother
Melon


 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 5:04 am
I have brought kids to shul. I dont attempt the whole service of course but I stay as much as I can.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 5:16 am
I bring my kids for key parts. For example, I bring them all in for the end of neila.
This year DH will be davening with the neitz minyan. I’d love to go for tekios shofar, but that’s at like 8:30. The kids might go since their father is the baal tokea. I will likely go for the later blowing in the park, though I like to hear him blow the chumras.
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amother
Trillium


 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 5:20 am
I always had trouble with shul, especially as a single in my 20's, it was soo hard and I was very angry at myself. Like, why am I not holy and focused and intense like the people around me? Having babies and having an excuse not to go to shul was great! Later on, I came to terms with my ADHD and realized I never should have been so hard on myself. I still have to work on kavannah, like all people, but Hashem knows how hard it is for me.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 5:37 am
I never enjoyed going to shul. I have a hard time davening in general. I am so relieved to have a very valid reason to stay home
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 6:31 am
It was hard for me when I was younger. Then my kids grew up and I went to shul for a number of years and then ka”h I had a youngster again but by then I knew the drill and I knew that I will have the opportunity one day iy”h to go again so it didn’t bother me as much.
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 6:34 am
amother [ Midnight ] wrote:
fourth option- I used to love going, then for a while as an older single, I wished I could have a husband to daven for me and kids to stay home with, now I have them BH but also wish I could go to shul...I guess the grass is greener on the other side....I know it's just a temporary stage though and I am doing my tafkid which I am very grateful for, and also that it's temporary and eventually I'll be able to go back.......but still frustrating, especially since I really developed a connection to davening b'tzibur and feel it's hard to be 'stuck' at home....but like I said, VERY grateful I am in this position

This 100%
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allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 06 2021, 7:38 am
I’m not upset to be home, I’m grateful to have good reasons to stay home aka children.

I do miss the intense spirituality of davening in shul,but now that it’s been a few years it would probably take some time for me to adjust to sitting in shul for a long time!
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