Spoiled or baby type?

amother

Thu, Sep 09 2021, 4:21 am

My 6 week old cannot settle herself. If I put her down and try and rock her to sleep she'll scream until I hold her and only then she'll fall asleep. I just don't know how she'll ever learn to put herself to sleep if I always have to hold her to fall asleep!

FranticFrummie

Thu, Sep 09 2021, 6:10 am

It's not easy being a brand new person. Cut her some slack.

It is impossible to spoil a baby. She's surviving on pure instinct. Her body hasn't set up a normal cycle yet. She just got here!

There's a good book called "What to Expect: the First Year". You can find it on Amazon. It will help you understand the stages babies go through, teething, growth spurts, and all kinds of things that will drive you mad.

Try giving her colic drops and see if it helps. DD had horrible colic for the first 4 months, and I had to hold her and rock her all night long so she wouldn't scream her head off. B'H she's 18yo now, and in college. It gets better!

amother

Dustypink

Thu, Sep 09 2021, 6:14 am

Some babies are easier than others. It's just a fact.

In general you can't spoil babies. And also, babies learn A LOT. If they didn't learn something by 6 weeks, it doesn't mean they won't learn it by six months.

I co-slept with all of my kids, some for 6 months, some for over a year. They all learned to sleep nicely in their beds despite that.

IYH you'll have another baby and be surprised how easy they are! And you'll realize that so little parenting success is based on what you do.

Just love your baby and do your best to meet her needs. When you can't, acknowledge your limitations. But don't try to shoehorn her into someone else's model of a perfect baby. She already is a perfect baby, just being herself.

amother

Oatmeal

Thu, Sep 09 2021, 7:22 am

I'm the op of this thread:

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....29971

This is far from my first child and I'm not convinced u can't spoil infants Laugh

. That being said I'm all for holding, snuggling, kissing, co sleeping, nursing as much as possible etc.

No advice, just letting u know I feel u sister Heart

amother

Violet

Thu, Sep 09 2021, 7:24 am

I don’t know of any 6 week-olds that settle themselves. They are still so tiny! You are doing the right thing by holding and responding to her. She has plenty of time to learn, please don’t worry that this reflects how she will be in a few months time.

amother

Opal

Thu, Sep 09 2021, 7:47 am

You cant spoil a baby. You can teach them some undesired behavior but not before 6 months and even then, Whats so wrong with a baby who wants to be held.
.your baby is brand new. For the fourth trimester (only 3 months)PLEASE hold and hug her, she should be on your body as much as possible.
Your post makes me soooo sad that there's a mother today who still believes the BS you wrote when there's decades of very very good research that teaches us how baby's brains works. Respond every single time to her cries! BTW I cosleep (I nurse) it's the only way I sleep. Just look up how to do it safely.

imasinger

Thu, Sep 09 2021, 7:59 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Imagine if you were taking a course in a brand new subject, and, knowing that it wouldn't come easy, you hired a tutor.

If you still needed tutoring six weeks into the course, would you say, "I don't know how I'll ever succeed in this subject if I always need a tutor"? Of course not! It's way too soon to give up on yourself.

And it's way too soon to be worried about your baby. To go from "it's been six weeks since birth" to "I don't know how she'll ever learn this" is anxiety talking, because I'm sure you're aware of how big a jump it is from a logical perspective.

You might want to look at some sleep training books or material to figure out when and how to worry.

Keep trying to nap when she does, so you have patience for those times when the little eyes pop back open, just when you thought you were home free.

amother

Brunette

Thu, Sep 09 2021, 8:32 am

People always say you can’t spoil a baby but you can create bad habits. You need to put the baby down before they are too tired. Once they are overtired they have a hard time settling and putting themselves to sleep.