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Sandek kvatter gifts
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amother




NeonOrange
 

Post Thu, Sep 09 2021, 7:16 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thank you for all responses.

I don’t in any way intend to add pressure or create a standard to bed upheld by all.

I just want to do the right thing.


So curious, what circles is this typical? I’m Yeshivish Lkwd and never received anything by sons bris ...
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amother




Junglegreen
 

Post Thu, Sep 09 2021, 7:19 pm
We made two brissim and didn’t get gift from kvatter nor did we expect one. We didn’t get from the sandek, that would have been strange- a gift from our rosh Yeshiva or rav?
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heidi




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Sep 09 2021, 7:23 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
Never heard of this . I have 4 sons and we had different sandeks and different kvatters for each one and we never received nor expected a gift. Is this a newish meshugas?

Me toooo
Could this be why the oldest isn't married yet? Surprised
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Sep 09 2021, 7:28 pm
amother [ NeonOrange ] wrote:
So curious, what circles is this typical? I’m Yeshivish Lkwd and never received anything by sons bris ...


We’re not from USA. I don’t know how to we classify.
We are frum professionals, DH did kolel for a while….
You can all decide what our Jewish specs are.
I do sometimes wonder how we classify, when I hear the different categories thrown around.
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amother




Eggshell
 

Post Fri, Sep 10 2021, 3:41 am
Never heard of this and we had 3 boys bh. Our last set of kvatters both had baby boys a year later. So clearly the segula works gifts or no gifts
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Fab4




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Sep 10 2021, 3:55 am
In our circles the kvatter usually gives a gift. 1 out of our 3 brissim didn't. One of our son's got a becher with his name on, the other one a siddur with name.

We've never been kvatter for anyone but if we were, we'd buy something.
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Sep 10 2021, 4:20 am
We are MO/DL. I always give a gift when we go to a brit milah. we were kvatter a few times and I gave the same type of gift I'd give to any of my friends who have a baby.
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Sep 10 2021, 7:21 am
None of our kvatters gave a gift at all. Once, a man approached my husband at a bris we made and asked quietly if he and his wife could have the kavod because they could use the segulah, it never occurred to me that they “should” give a gift. Different strokes for different folks!
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Sep 10 2021, 9:08 am
We were kvatter for 3 of my nephews brissin, and we chipped in as usual with my siblings for gift. We don't have this big expectation of expensive gifts in my family (B"H!)
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Fab4




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Sep 10 2021, 9:22 am
Of course it's not a must, my sil didn't, a cousin and a friend of dh's did.

My sil gave us a regular baby gift, that she wouldve given regardless.
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amother




RosePink
 

Post Fri, Sep 10 2021, 9:32 am
The minhag is for the Sandek to give, never seen a source for Kvatter to give. It would make sense that a Gadol who is Sandek by hundreds of brissim won't give a gift.
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Fab4




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Sep 10 2021, 10:55 am
amother [ RosePink ] wrote:
The minhag is for the Sandek to give, never seen a source for Kvatter to give. It would make sense that a Gadol who is Sandek by hundreds of brissim won't give a gift.


My fil was sandek once and my father and they both contributed to the bris, and the entire simcha financially, but didn't give any special gifts (judaica etc) my mother gave clothing etc, the fun stuff!
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amother




Mistyrose
 

Post Mon, Oct 04 2021, 7:50 am
Never heard of kvatter giving a gift, not at my sons’ or grandsons’ brissim. I have heard of the sandek paying toward the boys tefillin 13 years later. Both my parents and my in-laws did that , but it may be different since they are the grandparents. Sandek is a huge honor to bestow upon someone.
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