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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Sep 09 2021, 4:03 pm
I’m not sure if I’m losing it but I need some opinions. ב״ה we have hosted many people for simchas when it worked for us and are so happy to. A neighbor often asks if we could have her sibling and 7 kids (have in the past and was a disaster) for יום טוב so she could spend time with them. Obviously she doesn’t have room to host them but is it normal to ask people to have them so she could spend meals with them.
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amother




Foxglove
 

Post Thu, Sep 09 2021, 4:05 pm
She can ask and you can say no. As long as you won't say no, she'll ask and see no reason to not ask.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Sep 09 2021, 4:07 pm
I mean, one can always ask. Asking is free. But you dont always have to say yes.
We almost never host for other people, unless its for friends or a special event or something.
Its your home. It has to be your comfort level, no matter what that means.
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lamplighter




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Sep 09 2021, 4:08 pm
It's a little socially off but you don't have to say yes because she asked. Just say no.
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Sep 09 2021, 4:09 pm
Is she asking you to have them the entire time other than meal time? Or will they just be sleeping at your house and the rest of the waking hours are at her house? The former is rude, the latter is not.
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groovy1224




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Sep 09 2021, 4:18 pm
I dunno, I think it's a bit much to ask someone to host a sibling with seven children. That being said, you said in the past you did it, and she might not know it was a disaster, so it makes sense that she would ask again. But personally I would not ask that of anybody.
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amother




Zinnia
 

Post Thu, Sep 09 2021, 6:21 pm
It would be more sensible for her to ask someone who is going away if she can use their house
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amother




Tanzanite
 

Post Thu, Sep 09 2021, 6:49 pm
So just tell her you are so sorry it won’t work this time. No need to make a whole megilla out of it. This way she can find and make other arrangements.
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BetsyTacy




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Sep 09 2021, 6:58 pm
If you say it won't work this time, she will continue to ask other times. Since hosting this family is too much just say that hosting them is too much. No explanation required!
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amother




Tanzanite
 

Post Thu, Sep 09 2021, 7:03 pm
Good point- so just say it won’t work- wouldn’t want her to feel bad about the time you did it. I meant this time as opposed to last time.
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