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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
OP
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Sat, Sep 11 2021, 10:48 pm
My 11 year old threatens his younger sister that he will shoot her (as he holds it) and it scares her (not terribly). I kept telling him that I will have to take it away. Today I finally did take it away for the day and he overreacted, not coming to the cause etc..
My question is did the punishment fit the crime? Am I overreacting? Is it just typical kids fighting or is it very aggressive to threaten a sibling that you will shoot them. I'm not big on punishments. It's my last resort for high offenses.
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amother
Eggshell
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Sat, Sep 11 2021, 10:50 pm
Give her a nerf gun and let them play and sort it out.
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hodeez
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Sat, Sep 11 2021, 10:51 pm
I think it's ok, he shouldn't be scaring her like that. personally, I would take it away maybe not for the whole day, but for long enough that he feels the consequences of his actions. Then give it back for a probationary period.
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amother
Seablue
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Sat, Sep 11 2021, 10:56 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | My 11 year old threatens his younger sister that he will shoot her (as he holds it) and it scares her (not terribly). I kept telling him that I will have to take it away. Today I finally did take it away for the day and he overreacted, not coming to the cause etc..
My question is did the punishment fit the crime? Am I overreacting? Is it just typical kids fighting or is it very aggressive to threaten a sibling that you will shoot them. I'm not big on punishments. It's my last resort for high offenses. |
No it’s not an overreaction.
“You’re upsetting your sister. It’s very unpleasant to be threatened with a gun”
If he doesn’t stop, you need to step in.
Why keep telling him? Say it once and then step in to stop the unpleasant behaviour. If you keep telling, and then finally take it away, you’re asking him to overreact.
Create stronger boundaries.
“I see you’re having a hard time playing nicely with the gun. You have upset your sister. Let’s put it away (and you physically do so!) now would you like to play monopoly or rummikub?”
And do an activity with him.
Your daughter deserves better.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Sep 12 2021, 12:22 am
amother [ Seablue ] wrote: | No it’s not an overreaction.
“You’re upsetting your sister. It’s very unpleasant to be threatened with a gun”
If he doesn’t stop, you need to step in.
Why keep telling him? Say it once and then step in to stop the unpleasant behaviour. If you keep telling, and then finally take it away, you’re asking him to overreact.
Create stronger boundaries.
“I see you’re having a hard time playing nicely with the gun. You have upset your sister. Let’s put it away (and you physically do so!) now would you like to play monopoly or rummikub?”
And do an activity with him.
Your daughter deserves better. |
Thanks. On point.
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amother
Seablue
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Sun, Sep 12 2021, 12:42 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Thanks. On point. |
Yup, now try it while making Yom Tov for 24 guests and a whole YK at home with the kids
Good luck babes
Sending hugs, strength and patience x
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