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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 3:52 am
I work as a social worker in a major hospital.
Which means I work with a set group of doctors and nurses on specific wards.
I have minimal contact with other social workers.
I've been out of work for 3 weeks due to a sports injury.
I have been contacted by exactly 3 people that I work with, all fellow social workers.
Not one of the health care professionals that I work with on a daily basis has even written a quick text.
I'm definitely not friends with any of them, but we have a pleasant working relationship.
I am so hurt.
How can I realign my thinking that it's a job and I don't need friends at work?
I have plenty of friends in real life BH.
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amother
Bluebonnet


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 4:09 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I work as a social worker in a major hospital.
Which means I work with a set group of doctors and nurses on specific wards.
I have minimal contact with other social workers.
I've been out of work for 3 weeks due to a sports injury.
I have been contacted by exactly 3 people that I work with, all fellow social workers.
Not one of the health care professionals that I work with on a daily basis has even written a quick text.
I'm definitely not friends with any of them, but we have a pleasant working relationship.
I am so hurt.
How can I realign my thinking that it's a job and I don't need friends at work?
I have plenty of friends in real life BH.


I assume you're implying that they all have your number. Few people at work have mine, but they do email me (work email) at times like that, and some just comment when I'm back... "Nice to see you. We missed you..."

If it feels appropriate, I've written a group email to let them know I'm out and when I'll be back, etc, and then I often get responses (not that it's why I send the email).

I'm sure people will respond with "doctors and nurses are so busy." And while it's true, I personally don't find it a good enough excuse for rudeness. But not checking in isn't exactly rude, either.

Maybe they think of you as a more private person?

Don't know if any of that helps. Refuah shelaima!
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amother
Nemesia


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 4:51 am
As a former nurse in a hospital I can suggest the nurses might not even realize that your missing or May assume your in vacation. They only work 3 shifts a week including weekend days which I assume you don’t work weekends. My hospital also tended to switch social workers often meaning the social workers would switch every few months
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 5:14 am
amother [ Nemesia ] wrote:
As a former nurse in a hospital I can suggest the nurses might not even realize that your missing or May assume your in vacation. They only work 3 shifts a week including weekend days which I assume you don’t work weekends. My hospital also tended to switch social workers often meaning the social workers would switch every few months

I've been on the same wards for 3 years.
Every. Single. Person . has my phone number. The charge nurses were told I was out.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 5:16 am
amother [ Bluebonnet ] wrote:
I assume you're implying that they all have your number. Few people at work have mine, but they do email me (work email) at times like that, and some just comment when I'm back... "Nice to see you. We missed you..."

If it feels appropriate, I've written a group email to let them know I'm out and when I'll be back, etc, and then I often get responses (not that it's why I send the email).

I'm sure people will respond with "doctors and nurses are so busy." And while it's true, I personally don't find it a good enough excuse for rudeness. But not checking in isn't exactly rude, either.

Maybe they think of you as a more private person?

Don't know if any of that helps. Refuah shelaima!

Thanks for answering.
Maybe I should have sent a text to the charge nurses instead of having my supervisor take care of it.
I was in too much pain to think straight.
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Elfrida




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 5:26 am
When I was off work for about a month, only my immediate colleagues called to ask how I was doing. Normally they would call to ask me how to do something I normally take care of, and ask how I was doing at the same time. When I went back, one of the doctors asked if I was ok, because he hadn't seen me around for a while, but it only occured to him when he saw me again. My boss called to ask how I was doing in the context of asking when I would be coming back!

They're work colleagues, not friends. We get on well working together, and we can enjoy an occasional evening out, but our lives don't intersect in anything other than work.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 5:31 am
I guess I have to change my expectations and live by your last line Elfrida.
Sad, bcz my old job friends are some of my best friends to this day.
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 5:54 am
I was off work for several weeks for covid and also maternity leave. I didn’t hear from anyone besides my boss asking when I’d be back. Are you sure they even know?? Because for your privacy no one should be talking about it at work.
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amother
Rainbow


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 6:22 am
delete

Last edited by amother on Mon, Oct 11 2021, 2:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:01 am
Unless I considered the workmate an actual friend (like I would invite her to a simcha), I wouldn't text someone who was out for an injury out of respect for privacy.
For reference, I work in a hospital outpatient setting.
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amother
NeonBlue


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:44 am
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
Unless I considered the workmate an actual friend (like I would invite her to a simcha), I wouldn't text someone who was out for an injury out of respect for privacy.
For reference, I work in a hospital outpatient setting.


Same. I have a good work friend out on maternity leave. I texted her Mazal tov but wasn’t sure about that even and assume she doesn’t really care to hear from me.
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amother
Dustypink


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:59 am
I’m a hospital social worker too. Hi colleague!

TBH: I may or may not have reached out. I wound have texted my officemate but anyone else: I’d respected their privacy. This mostly has nothing to do with you. I hope you feel better soon
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amother
Brown


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 9:08 am
I would expect expressions of concern when you get back, but not while you're gone. I find that with colleagues, it's not simple to be the one who breaches the work/personal wall- to contact outside of work parameters. So yes, you'll get a "How are you feeling?" if it's in an email or on a call that is work-relevant. But without that, it feels strange to many people to reach out.
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amother
Oleander


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 9:47 am
lk1234 wrote:
Op I totally understand your feelings. For some reason imamother generally has this opinion that work is work you should be a robot, you should not have relatinoships etc. I do not agree that is not how work should be. You spend so much time with people day after day there should be warm friendly and at the same time professional atmosphere at work. Your feelings are valid. If you were my coworker I'd be checking in with you every few days by text. If I felt especially close I'd send food. Yes they should have checked in on you. Yes you can be professional and warm and caring human being. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Now as to why they did not
Is this the first time someone was out could be they don't know appropriate protocol
Do they know you were injured, could be they don't realize
They have your cell?

At this point I'd reach out to them sayingsomething like missing you, hope everything is going well still under the weather. See what happens.


I don't think is the case. The amothers here picked up the detail that her workplace is a hospital. A hospital environment is different than a regular workplace. You almost never work with the exact same people every shift. There is a rotation of workers every shift, and you often don't know with whom you will be working that day. That is even more true when it comes to the specialists, therapists and social workers who are on call for the day. It's impossible to keep track of who is out on a holiday, vacation, bereavement, or due to injury, or if someone has been floated to a different department. Scheduling shifts is a job in itself in such places and there are hired schedule coordinators who spend their days doing just that. Supervisors rarely report the reason for someone not being on rotation. It's up to the person who is out to relay that to her coworkers if she wants them to be aware of a situation.

OP, it's up to you to reach out to the your colleagues to inform them of your injury. As others have noted, even if someone becomes aware of your situation, they don't know if you prefer your privacy or not.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 3:19 pm
I'm sorry. they maybe thought youwanted privacy?
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ChutzPAh




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 3:43 pm
This time of year so many people are on vacation. They likely assumed that.
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causemommysaid




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 4:28 pm
The only time I ever texted a coworker who was sick was because my boss sent out a message that she wanted us to know her transplant went well and she would appreciate well wishes. Messaging her before that seems like an invasion of privacy
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amother
Bone


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 6:24 pm
Also a hospital social worker here -
I found that when people are MIA people tend to be hush hush and try not to bother the person who is out
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invisiblecircus




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 13 2021, 7:02 am
I'm sorry this happened! That hurts :-(
I haven't been in the exact same situation but when I had my last baby not a single person called me and it was very hurtful and disappointing and changed my relationship with some people.

How are you doing?
B"H you have friends outside work. I hope they're supportive :-)
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 13 2021, 8:03 am
I wouldn’t dream of calling a coworker who was out sick, even if she wasn’t sick but had just had a baby, unless she indicated that such a call would be ok with her. and even then only if we’re really friendly on a personal level. I might send a friendly email or a get well card if they were out for a long time but there is no way I would call. Totally Inappropriate crossing of boundaries and invasion of privacy.
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