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Relative making a wedding and Covid vaccine required
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:12 pm
I am just really looking to see what everyone’s thoughts are. I know I am probably opening a whole can of worms but I am just curious.
I live in a place where most people are not so concerned about Covid. We don’t wear masks and we go to simchas.
My close relative lives in an area where Covid rules are very strict and they listen and follow what ever they are told to do.
They are planning to make a wedding for their son close by to me (they live a plane ride away).
They just informed me that the other side insists that everyone be double vaxxed and wear a mask and will need to show their vaxxed card in order to get in.
They have elderly grandparents who will be there. Who are vaxxed and will be wearing a mask.
So now my whole family won’t be able to go.
We had Covid and antibodies and our doctor said we don’t need to get vaxxed.
One of my kids got one shot but that is not good enough for them.
So my question is is the other side being unreasonable?
I told them I will stay out in the hall not go in and I will wear a mask. But that is not good enough.
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Motherhood




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:16 pm
To answer your question, yes, I think the other side is being unreasonable. Can you stay outside and call the family out to tell them mazel tov?
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amother




Amaranthus
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:16 pm
They're crazy but they're also entitled to make whatever dumb rules they want at their own party. But they're crazy. And they better not be offended if they have no guests.
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amother




Freesia
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:17 pm
Their wedding, their rules. Maybe they have other high-risk people attending. If you don't like the rules, don't go.
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amother




IndianRed
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:22 pm
I dont agree with their rules, but it is their wedding so they can make the rules. I would send a nice card or call to wish them Mazel tov, and not go to the wedding.
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amother




Wheat
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:24 pm
It’s actually very simple. Their rules. Doesn’t matter if you agree or not. If you won’t get vaccinated send your regrets.
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amother




Currant
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:25 pm
I’m vaxxed and this would turn me off. I’m also an introvert and hate weddings thou so don’t go by me
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Goldie613




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:27 pm
Everyone is doing the best they can based on local rules, family member's medical concerns, etc.

I think your best bet is to see if they can set up zoom for out of town/non-vaccinated guests.

I know it's hard for you, but please realize it's hard for the ones making the simcha, too. Hopefully in a few years things won't be this way, but right now it is what it is and we all just have to get by.

Hug
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amother




Freesia
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:33 pm
amother [ Amaranthus ] wrote:
They're crazy but they're also entitled to make whatever dumb rules they want at their own party. But they're crazy. And they better not be offended if they have no guests.


These are pretty much the rules my shul had for the high holidays - if you wanted to sit inside, you have to be double vaxxed, show proof, and wear a mask. There's an outdoor option for anyone who can't do that. So maybe these rules are crazy in some places, but they certainly aren't everywhere.
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amother




Tomato
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:34 pm
We went to a wedding this summer where we had to either preregister with our vaccination cards or submit a recent covid test right before the event. I thought it was perfectly reasonable and it allowed the guests to feel comfortable.

Would testing before the wedding be an acceptable alternative to being vaccinated? Frankly, with the delta variant going around anyone who is cautious should not be relying on just the vaccine anyway and everyone should test beforehand.
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amother




Arcticblue
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:36 pm
They have chutzpah but it’s their Simcha and their obnoxious rules.
I’d stay home even if I’m vaccinated.
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amother




Peach
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:36 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I am just really looking to see what everyone’s thoughts are. I know I am probably opening a whole can of worms but I am just curious.
I live in a place where most people are not so concerned about Covid. We don’t wear masks and we go to simchas.
My close relative lives in an area where Covid rules are very strict and they listen and follow what ever they are told to do.
They are planning to make a wedding for their son close by to me (they live a plane ride away).
They just informed me that the other side insists that everyone be double vaxxed and wear a mask and will need to show their vaxxed card in order to get in.
They have elderly grandparents who will be there. Who are vaxxed and will be wearing a mask.
So now my whole family won’t be able to go.
We had Covid and antibodies and our doctor said we don’t need to get vaxxed.
One of my kids got one shot but that is not good enough for them.
So my question is is the other side being unreasonable?
I told them I will stay out in the hall not go in and I will wear a mask. But that is not good enough.


No they’re not being unreasonable. They are the ones making and paying for the simcha, they have a right to protect themselves and their loved ones,
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amother




Apple
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:37 pm
I made all of my wedding guests provide a negative covid test. So, no I didn’t require them to be vaccinated but I also definitely did not want anyone coming who had covid at that time. Those who didn’t want to test or knew they had covid just didn’t come. I think requiring vaccinations is a bit much.
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amother




Wandflower
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:37 pm
Nebach. I wouldn't even feel guilty not going.
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amother




Caramel
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:40 pm
My brother in law had a situation like this and his dayan told him that he should get the vaccine because he will need to eventually anyway since it will become mandatory.

For the record, this dayan is anti common core not because of common core but because he says it is anti yiddishkeit to allow the government to tell Jews what to teach our children but he says it is not the same issue in regard to medical mandates.

He didn't tell everyone to vaccinate but those who asked he said his opinion is to vaccinate since it will eventually be mandatory for things people will want to do.

Regarding my opinion of the baal simcha here - it's their wedding so their rules even I would not make the same rule.
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amother




Hunter
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:43 pm
Scary what this world is coming to.
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amother




Arcticblue
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:44 pm
amother [ Apple ] wrote:
I made all of my wedding guests provide a negative covid test. So, no I didn’t require them to be vaccinated but I also definitely did not want anyone coming who had covid at that time. Those who didn’t want to test or knew they had covid just didn’t come. I think requiring vaccinations is a bit much.



That’s better, although I’d rather make a very small Simcha than obligating guests to test.
But vaccine? How crazy did people become? Did they also require all their guests to be vaccinated against Polio?
Sick.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:44 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
No they’re not being unreasonable. They are the ones making and paying for the simcha, they have a right to protect themselves and their loved ones,


Since VACCINATED CAN SPREAD COVID too, I don't see how excluding the
unvaccinated is protecting their loved ones.

Best way to protect is make everyone show a negative covid test taken 48 hours
before the wedding. INCLUDING THE VACCINATED - who can also spread Covid!


Last edited by #BestBubby on Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:53 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Chartreuse
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:45 pm
I have elderly parents who live in a covid-conscious community, and honestly, I don't think your cousins are being unreasonable. On one hand, vaccinated people can still transmit covid, however, the likelihood of vaccinated people contracting covid is a lot lower than their unvaccinated counterparts. I think your cousins are doing what they can to make the simcha safe for everyone. It is not foolproof, but it is minimizing risks. A better way to ensure safety would be to have guests take a rapid test at the door, but this is likely expensive and not feasible. It could be that most people in their circles are anyway vaccinated so they are not excluding a large group of people from attending. What would you suggest to make the simcha safer for their elderly grandparents?
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:52 pm
Thank you I really thought I was the crazy one
I guess what bothered me also was the fact that my relatives are making the simcha also and they don't have a say they are just going along with it even if they don't agree.
I told them I will take a covid test before but that's not good enough.
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