S/O who did you give kibbudim at wedding to?

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Post Thu, Sep 16 2021, 10:33 pm
Who got kibbudim at your wedding or a wedding you made for and what was their relationship to you or your in laws? Is it common to have immediate family get a kibbud of one of the sheva brachos?
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Post Thu, Sep 16 2021, 10:45 pm
We did not do fathers and brothers, though many do. We didn't want to set a precedent, because if this becomes expected and then there is an OTD or non frum brother or father, it can be difficult. (It's also hard if one brother or father wants but the other doesn't, and then people start asking why it's uneven and the one who doesn't want may be embarrassed.)

Insisting on shomer Shabbos at our own wedding created some conflict. We ended up giving all the brachos and the eidim to people who had semichah, to draw an objective line that was understood. It was fairly evenly divided, because we had our shul rav and close family friends who had semichah, and he had his rabbeim. In the end, for shalom, we gave a close, non shomer Shabbos but Israeli relative krias hakesuvah. It has a prominence to it but zero halachic validity.
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Post Thu, Sep 16 2021, 11:32 pm
In our circles it's very common to give fathers and brothers brachot under the chupah.
Our brachot were
Dh father
dh brother
My brother
1 dh uncle and 2 of mine (my father passed away)

Witnesses under the chupah were a close family friend who practically raised me and the husband half of our our shadchans
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