What's wrong with me??

amother

Thu, Sep 16 2021, 10:41 pm

Everyone keeps telling the women that are home with kids and can't go to shul/ daven that this is their tafkid right now etc etc, as if to make them feel better. The problem by me, is that I'm home with my little ones and I actually enjoy it more than if I'd have to sit in shul all day. I literally cannot imagine sitting in shul for more than an hour or 2... But of course I won't admit that to my husband lol... What is wrong with me though?

RevitalizedMom

Thu, Sep 16 2021, 10:43 pm

Nothing wrong. Many ppl rather stay home with their kids than go to shul.

Loving to go to shul isn’t a mitzvah

amother

Daphne

Thu, Sep 16 2021, 10:49 pm

There’s nothing wrong with you!
I have been out of shul on yk for many years now for the best reason- children- and I am out of practice. When my children are grown iyH I imagine I’m going to have to get back into the swing of things slowly, maybe by starting with shul on Shabbos.

amother

DarkKhaki

Thu, Sep 16 2021, 10:54 pm

Many people feel that way, but most are embarrassed to admit it. I'm not looking forward to the day my youngest is old enough to go to shul. I used to enjoy it when I was a teen but now I prefer staying home.

BrisketBoss

Thu, Sep 16 2021, 10:56 pm

I think that's good for you! And definitely nothing to be guilty about.

I was lucky enough to have shul in the same building I was sleeping so I could be present for bits at a time. I was sad to miss some stuff, but secretly didn't mind missing certain other parts.

amother

Mintgreen

Thu, Sep 16 2021, 10:56 pm

amother [ DarkKhaki ] wrote:

This. The magazines are only full with the stories of women who were “stuck” at home wishing they could be in shul. Nobody talks about the people who are more than happy to have an excuse to stay home. But I’ll bet that’s most women. Or a good sized portion.

BrisketBoss

Thu, Sep 16 2021, 11:00 pm

amother [ Mintgreen ] wrote:

I think for me it's all about the music. If all the chazzanim/shlichei tzibur used the 'wrong' tunes, or sung poorly or whatever, I wouldn't care to go. If the music is good, and bonus if there's genuine emotion, I love being in shul.

amother

Cerise

Thu, Sep 16 2021, 11:29 pm

I don't have kids and I only davened Lol Nidrei and Neilah at shul. I find it hard to sit through the avodah, so I davened shacharis, mussaf, and Minchah at home.

amother

Plum

Fri, Sep 17 2021, 12:15 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Many people feel that way but they won’t say it and blame the kids. I have a daughter she hates going to shul and she tells me let me babysit so you can go I do exactly that I’m not gonna fight with her. I have a sister in law that I never saw her go to shul yet ever I don’t ask it’s not my business. But your not alone

amother

Ebony

Fri, Sep 17 2021, 7:07 am

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

Good for both of you. Not everyone is made to do the same thing. Let each person find where they are happy, productive, and contributing.

champion

Fri, Sep 17 2021, 9:19 am

lol this is me.
Probably a combo of being pushed from too young of an age to sit in shul and a healthy dose of ADHD. I never feel 'stuck' at home with my kids. I hate that figure of speech.

mommy3b2c

Fri, Sep 17 2021, 9:20 am

I also always wonder about that. I couldn’t wait to have kids so I have a valid “excuse” not to go to Shul. Sitting in Shul is not for everyone .

amother

Chartreuse

Fri, Sep 17 2021, 9:31 am

My dd babysits for the neighbors, because she can't do more than an hour to an bour and a half at the time. And I used to be a big shul goer until my kids. Now that they can all be in shul and not need me, I can go back, but I can't do the sitting anymore- my life has changed me. So I take a lot of breaks.

amother

Apple

Fri, Sep 17 2021, 9:34 am

I never enjoyed davening in shul and always felt bad for the boys and men who have no choice. I was the one always counting the pages in my machzor even in my twenties. Before kids, I would go to shul for only one tefilla and after kids I gleefully stayed home.
Then this year was the first year I was able to stay in shul for the entire day. to my shock I loved it. I've never fasted so easily and I even stayed a few minutes into the break after mincha to say tehillim. I've never been a tehillim person!

Life is full of these wonderful changes and surprises. What you feel when you are young isn't what you will always feel.

amother

Carnation

Fri, Sep 17 2021, 11:00 am

I often have colds, allergies, shuls are often dusty so I end up needing tissues... I like being able to daven out loud, to move around, to cry when I want to, to have space around me to breath, in shul you are expected to not be disruptive and often squashed together. So while I like being there for like kedusha, bircas cohanim, songs.... the other stuff not so much. When I was growing up we went to a big shul with not a lot of people. I think I got a little spoiled Wink

amother

Amethyst

Fri, Sep 17 2021, 11:04 am

My first year back now that my youngest is 10. Took a long break to give him lunch. Really miss staying home.