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If you don't feel comfortable being a guest

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Sat, Sep 18 2021, 12:52 pm
do you still accept meal invites?
Is there an elegant way to decline? Is it ok to always decline?
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amother




Charcoal
 

Post Sat, Sep 18 2021, 1:11 pm
Why don't you feel comfortable being a guest?
You don't have to reciprocate in the same way. If you're hosted for a shabbos meal, you can have the people over for a BBQ on a weekday, or do something helpful that isn't hosting.
This is how relationships are built.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sat, Sep 18 2021, 1:37 pm
amother [ Charcoal ] wrote:
Why don't you feel comfortable being a guest?
You don't have to reciprocate in the same way. If you're hosted for a shabbos meal, you can have the people over for a BBQ on a weekday, or do something helpful that isn't hosting.
This is how relationships are built.


it's not because I don't want to reciprocate. it's because I'm extremely shy and socially anxious
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post Sat, Sep 18 2021, 2:04 pm
Do you want to build relationships with these people or not?
If yes, then you need to accept the invitation and do your best.
If not, then you can say "we prefer shabbat and Yom tov to be family time " or something like that.
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amother




Charcoal
 

Post Sat, Sep 18 2021, 3:33 pm
If you don't want to go, don't go. But the fact is that if these people invited you, they want to spend time with you. They like you.
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amother




Oatmeal
 

Post Sat, Sep 18 2021, 4:35 pm
Just say thank you very much for the invitation I really appreciate but...
I'll be staying home or it won't work out.. if you don't enjoy going you don't have to go
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post Sat, Sep 18 2021, 7:09 pm
We have this too. Somebody really random keeps inviting us.

We sometimes accept after we feel like we can't say no yet again.

They just don't seem to get the hint.
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