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What do kids DO on all these days off?!
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seeker




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 9:51 am
amother [ Caramel ] wrote:
Wow. To me you sound like superwomen.
They are relaxed
Got them to help with cleaning. They made cards and calls…They are already in some sort of disciplined routine. They play nicely. Wow wow wow.
You and your kids are what my goal is.
Shep nachas from them and yourself
Too embarrassed to sign my name

Lol there is NO routine, that's what the post is about. The routine is:
Will you please get out of bed already
OMG I put in an hour of work and you are still in bed?
Oh look you're out of bed PLEASE put on clothing before Lego and did you even wash your hands or brush your teeth - OMG why not.
It's been 40 minutes, I cleaned the kitchen and had brunch and you're STILL in pajamas? Do I need to HIDE the Lego?
Etc.

All the writing etc happened already before RH, two weeks ago, there's no one left...

I should see about friends, I guess I didn't feel I had time or patience to coordinate and transport that (friends are not independent walking distance from us, we live on a very busy street) but it may be called for.

Yes I am blessed and appreciate everyone's input. Going to pull out incentives.
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amother




Caramel
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 10:02 am
seeker wrote:
Lol there is NO routine, that's what the post is about. The routine is:
Will you please get out of bed already
OMG I put in an hour of work and you are still in bed?
Oh look you're out of bed PLEASE put on clothing before Lego and did you even wash your hands or brush your teeth - OMG why not.
It's been 40 minutes, I cleaned the kitchen and had brunch and you're STILL in pajamas? Do I need to HIDE the Lego?
Etc.

All the writing etc happened already before RH, two weeks ago, there's no one left...

I should see about friends, I guess I didn't feel I had time or patience to coordinate and transport that (friends are not independent walking distance from us, we live on a very busy street) but it may be called for.

Yes I am blessed and appreciate everyone's input. Going to pull out incentives.


Thanks.for clarifying but I still think you are awesome and what you’ve accomplished with your kids is impressive.
I’m your secret admirer and would tell you so under my screen name another time. I’m way older but I learn lots from you…
Hope this doesn’t sound too stalkerish…

Without this clarification I just felt oh my. Her level is beyond me.- now I dont feel left that far in the mud…
We still have some major work and healing to do before we can get to productivity.
Working on it
Anyway this isnt about me.


I love the bucket idea someone shared above
Good luck!
Chag Sameach
And good erev yomtov
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Stars




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 10:02 am
I fail to see the problem
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amother




Navyblue
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 10:15 am
My 8 year old likes when we make a schedule the night before. There's a time written to be dressed by, a time for davening, a time for videos, a time for making jewelry or whatever she is into, time to help me make supper. There's a time set for when we're leaving the house for the cleaners or library so everyone's on the same page.
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behappy2




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 10:16 am
I think it's nice for kids to chill. Are the kids feeling this lack of meaning or are you projecting?

If you want them to be ready at a certain time (dressed, davened, ate) by let's say 11:00. You can plan a trip to the park or the library or the store for that time. My mother always got nervous when we hung around in our PJs and I remember getting nervous that she was so uptight about it. Now as a parent I try to control myself a bit but I can see why she got nervous. I still try to remember the child in me.
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seeker




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 10:20 am
Gulp.
With the books and quiet play it is 100% nature and blessing, I did nothing to achieve it, it's just their personality. I also have an absence of toddlers in my life that makes both the houseful of Legos and the quiet possible. Which is not something I ever prayed for but this is the advantage it comes with.

We definitely need to work on bucket list, that is an awesome idea.
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seeker




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 10:22 am
Wow this thread is hot and now my responses are out of order. Yes I totally might be projecting.
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amother




Cadetblue
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 10:27 am
behappy2 wrote:
I think it's nice for kids to chill. Are the kids feeling this lack of meaning or are you projecting?

If you want them to be ready at a certain time (dressed, davened, ate) by let's say 11:00. You can plan a trip to the park or the library or the store for that time. My mother always got nervous when we hung around in our PJs and I remember getting nervous that she was so uptight about it. Now as a parent I try to control myself a bit but I can see why she got nervous. I still try to remember the child in me.


yeah it makes me nervous when my kids hang around in their pj's and my kids are just like why not, are we going anywhere and I realize that sometimes it's because I want to do stuff and don't know when they will be ready and sometimes I can really relax about it but for some of us I think "relaxing about stuff" is harder Wink then for other people.
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amother




DarkMagenta
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 10:35 am
It’s hard to be running yourself ragged while watching your able bodied children just chill. I remind myself that this is their time to be carefree, and they will have their years when it will be their turn to be harried and weighed down with responsibilities.

As an aside, I am with those that say count your blessings. We have a similar setup, kids about the same age, no toddlers underfoot, I don’t need their help much, and one of them has a really really hard time keeping herself busy. Zero play skills to speak of. But she’s not interested in chores either.
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amother




Emerald
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 10:37 am
Don’t know if either of them are boys and where you live but in my neighbors there are programs for learning in some shuls and the boys come home from school with an incentive chart for doing various things (learning, davening, helping at home and shaking lulav and esrog are all on the list…) If they didn’t get a list (and/or are girls) you can probably create your own chart
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amother




Lightpink
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 10:38 am
Wow I had no idea some places don't have cheder now. So hard for the parents.
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seeker




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 10:38 am
Of course she's not interested in chores, nobody that age is. My kids are very used to hearing "oh you're bored? Great, go fold the laundry."

But yes I do count my blessings.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 10:44 am
Thankfully I have mostly boys so they have cheder every day besides erev YT. Erev YK is a busy YT day on its own with going out for a meal etc. which leaves mostly shabbos and YT in which they go to shul in the morning, then eat the meal, then play in the afternoon either outside with friends or games with daddy.
As for dd, I’ve been sending her on tons of errands every day she has off. Win win situation. She also completed a complicated craft and plays outside or in friends houses.

I fail to see the need to drag anyone out of bed. I’m thankful for every hour they sleep. More quiet for me, less boredom for them.
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ssspectacular




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 10:45 am
Many kids enjoy making sukkos decorations- can be electrical, building, miniatures....
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amother




Peachpuff
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 11:52 am
seeker wrote:
OK this is exactly the kind of thing I'd love. What do they learn? I feel slow that I didn't think of prizes but that's what this month is doing to my brain I guess.

They can learn whatever they want, even from an English sefer or translation. I learned parsha last year with my oldest who was in first grade. This year I and DH will do parsha with my first grader and hilchos tznius with my second grader (her pick, not mine).
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funmother




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 12:54 pm
Another idea. Do you have any young mothers living nearby? If you don't have a baby or toddler does your kids go crazy over ones that do? This will not last all day but if you have a neighbor with a baby 6-13 months ask the mother if your daughters can wheel her around in the carriage even a tiny break is a huge help for another mother and at that age they feel so special doing a chesed.-I don't know if I would trust an 8 year old without a baby sibling to properly know how to hold baby unsupervised. No need to get other rewards. If it doesn't bother you to supervise a bit have your kid bring a baby up to 16 months old in the house. Or preschooler. Those ages are usually less trouble and messy then toddlers but still a huge help for mothers that don't get breaks. Your children can play with the child and feel so good to do a chesed.
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Shuly




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Sep 20 2021, 4:49 am
What do my kids do?
Teenagers/bigger kids - read, schmooze with friends, go to the grocery store for me, help cook and clean (some more than others depending on the personality), sometimes complain they are bored.
Little kids - play with toys, color, make art projects, go to other families in my building and play with their kids, have the same kids come here, and sometimes complain they are bored.
(I have a neighbor with a 6 month old baby who loves when my 8 year old comes over because she really entertains the baby and it helps my neighbor get things done in the house.)
Toddler - Make a mess everywhere, empty all the cabinets, pour water on the floor and not allow me to get anything done quickly! B"H he takes a nap!
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naomi2




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Sep 20 2021, 7:30 am
Sounds like you are ok with them reading and playing but the main thing is that they should be dressed?
Make sure they get dressed by walking then to their room and staying with them as they get it done. No nagging or reminders needed.

Otherwise, what do they really need to accomplish? They are kids and they learn through play. They don't have To much responsibilities yet and I think that's fine.
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DVOM




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Sep 20 2021, 8:08 am
This sounds a lot like my big kids. Up until 2 months ago, we were a family of very independent, school aged children. Reading and Lego are also my boys favorite activities, as is staying in bed in PJs until noon and beyond.

Why does this bother you? I love hearing my boys recommending and discussing the books they're reading with each other. My oldest is deep in Madeline L'angles Wrinkle in Time books, and has so many thought provoking comments on time travel and bullying and sibling rivelry. Right now the living room has a Lego world that incorporates Batman and Harry Potter that's been growing and evolving since Rosh Hashanah. Perhaps I'm raising a budding architect?

What would you rather they be doing?
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