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My kids are monsters in public
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 6:06 pm
Whenever I take them anywhere they are so wild it isn’t normal. I took them to the grocery store today I just needed a few things so I could continue cooking for Yom Tov. They were licking each other and pushing other ppls carts and putting their mouths on closed bottles of grape juice. They were hitting and smacking each other. And screaming on top of their lungs. I tried telling them to behave. threatening, bribing. Sending the older ones to get stuff around the store. Separating them on opposite sides of the shopping cart/ in the shopping cart. Ignoring the fighting. Nothing helped. My kids are the worst and I’m the worst mother
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English3




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 6:08 pm
That is why I don't shop with my kids, but when I do go I will always buy them something to nosh on so that they behave.
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hodeez




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 6:08 pm
Tell them before leaving the house if they behave this way you will leave the store. Then keep to your word so they know you're serious. Hatzlacha, it's so embarrassing when the kids act out in public.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 6:09 pm
I also try not to take them but today my husband was out on two work emergencies and I had no choice. I tried giving them a snack it didn’t help
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 6:10 pm
hodeez wrote:
Tell them before leaving the house if they behave this way you will leave the store. Then keep to your word so they know you're serious. Hatzlacha, it's so embarrassing when the kids act out in public.

Yes exactly I’m mortified. The line was one hour long and the entire town knows now that I’m the worst parent
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 6:11 pm
And I couldn’t just leave the store bec I really needed to cook for yt.
I once did that I left in the middle bec they were streaming down the aisles and knocking things down and yelling so I just left my wagon
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amother




Bottlebrush
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 6:11 pm
An hour on line is really rough for kids. Can you bring tablets, books or toys for them to use next time?
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 6:12 pm
amother [ Bottlebrush ] wrote:
An hour on line is really rough for kids. Can you bring tablets, books or toys for them to use next time?

That’s a good idea
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octopus




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 6:14 pm
Sounds like a nightmare!! It's so hard, op!! You are not the worst mother!!
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 6:16 pm
octopus wrote:
Sounds like a nightmare!! It's so hard, op!! You are not the worst mother!!

Thanks! Thing is they are such good kids at home. Idk what it is about going out with them that transforms them
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amother




Orchid
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 6:16 pm
If theyre acting out that bad and you have no choice but to remain online, next time take out your smartphone and pull up any video you can find.
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 6:20 pm
amother [ Orchid ] wrote:
If theyre acting out that bad and you have no choice but to remain online, next time take out your smartphone and pull up any video you can find.

At home they share but at the store they would grab the tablet from each other or throw it across the room or scratch each other and pull each other’s hair
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amother




Buttercup
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 6:26 pm
You are not the worst mother. You are doing your best. My husband is usually working so I take my kids with me everywhere. My first 3 behave so nicely...my last one behaves like a monster when we go out. I am mortified but it made me realize to never judge anyone else. You can try your hardest, but you can't fully control how your kids behave. If your kids are old enough you can definitely try some sort of incentive with them and hopefully that will help.
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amother




Lemon
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 6:36 pm
Omg I needed to read this just now.
We just came back from a restaurant to celebrate my son's birthday. It's a family friendly burger style but still... My kids were just out of control, I just didn't know what to do with them. My little one was standing with ketchup hands over the booth with ppl behind us, 3 or 4 of them went under the tables throwing things. Wild and laughing so loud... This is just a bit of what it was like. I know kids are kids but I don't think this is normal either. And no, my kids aren't perfect at home. I feel like giving up.
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amother




Carnation
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 6:58 pm
OP just so you know, it’s possible others are judging your parenting skills based on your kids behavior, but I for one am not, and I know a lot of people who know better by now. We’re all slowly learning that the way our children behave, their ability to control their impulses, etc, has less to do with how they’re parented and more to do with how their brains are wired. I’m all for finding solutions, but this really isn’t your fault.
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amother




Lightyellow
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 7:37 pm
This is why children should be trained how to behave in public. They should be punished when they come home so next time they will behave.
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chocolate moose




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Sep 19 2021, 7:40 pm
they were out of their element. Hungry, tired, bored. Yomtov is very hard on kids.
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STMommy




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Sep 20 2021, 2:03 pm
Actually OP you're probably an attentive mother who gives them what they need at home but in a store when your attention is divided, they have difficulty.
Or, you're probably an intuitive mother who innately created a home environment that is conducive to calm but the store was overstimulating and put them on sensory overload.
Or both.
You probably have normal kids and you're likely a normal mom.
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amother




Crimson
 

Post Mon, Sep 20 2021, 2:09 pm
Overall I have well-behaving kids k'ah and I've shopped with them plenty. But in your scenario they would not have survived in one piece either. An hour waiting on line AFTER spending who knows how much time doing the actual shopping? I would go crazy from that, let alone normal kids.
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LeeR




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Sep 20 2021, 2:19 pm
I don’t think most people judge the behavior of children, but rather the way the parent handles it.

I care more about how I react than what they’re doing.
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