How to say this without offending my kids?

amother

Thu, Sep 23 2021, 8:20 pm

I'm very sensory sensitive. I don't like being crowded, I don't like too much noise pollution and I get touched out pretty quickly.
I feel like I'm constantly telling my kids to give me space (they are always touching me, standing close, looking over my shoulder etc). I feel bad because they must feel unwanted but I really feel claustrophobic from it.

amother

Ballota

Thu, Sep 23 2021, 8:21 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What are you looking at when they are looking over your shoulder? Do they want more of your attention?

amother

Royalblue

Thu, Sep 23 2021, 8:24 pm

I don't allow my children to jump all over me and stand in my space. They get hugs when they ask but I need personal space. How old are they?

Stars

Thu, Sep 23 2021, 8:25 pm

I remind my kids to give me space please when it’s too much but I am very mindful to let them hang on me and touch me and I give them a lot of hugs and squeezes depending on how much the kid needs.

amother

Thu, Sep 23 2021, 8:29 pm

I give lots of hugs and everyone gets morning cuddles when I see them first thing.
As much as I am sensory sensitive some of my kids are sensory seeking.
They climb on me on the couch or lean on me while I'm on the phone or reading something or writing a list or finding a recipe etc.

Fox

Thu, Sep 23 2021, 8:45 pm

I'm the same way,OP! I recommend just telling them the truth: "Sorry, but I get overwhelmed when you're playing music and everyone is talking at the same time" or "I need a little quiet time. Give me 15 minutes of alone time and then we'll work on your project."

Even really small kids can understand these concepts, and it's not a bad idea to teach toddlers the concept of "down time" when we play quietly for 15 minutes.

Here's the funny part: one of my married daughters who has an almost-2-year-old recent said to me, "Hey, Ma? Remember how you used to get sensory overloaded when too much was going on, and we never understood that? Well, I feel like that all the time now. Sometimes I have to say, "We're turning off the music and putting away all the noisy toys and everyone is going to chillax in his room for a while!"

amother

Electricblue

Thu, Sep 23 2021, 9:37 pm

ok I love reading this because I feel the same way very often and get overloaded very quickly and often have to tell certain children of mine to give me space. They have learned early on the concept of "ima needs some space" and are mostly respectful of it. Funny story: I once was taking a bath and my 1.5 yo DD barged in (it was eruv shabbos and my DH was suppose to be watching her) anyway- when she barged in I said very calmly "go back downstairs, ima needs some space" and she started taking off her clothes while saying "Raizy needs space.... Raizy needs space WITH ima" and plop she jumped right into the tub with me LOL

amother

Daylily

Thu, Sep 23 2021, 10:22 pm

I had the same problem, I also had whole-body pain and couldn't be touched.
I went for a few sessions with a Somatic Experiencing practitioner and saw a drastic change. I was able to tolerate touch and hugs and was less overwhelmed.

amother

Amaryllis

Thu, Sep 23 2021, 10:25 pm

amother [ Daylily ] wrote:

Wow would love a recommendation. What area is this practitioner? And in general how would I find someone like this in my area.