Neighbors partying in their succah: wwyd?

amother

Firethorn

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 8:43 am

amother [ Poppy ] wrote:

I don’t allow my kids to play outside in shabbos or yom tov until 4:30 in order that people can sleep.

Regarding the noise and the neighbor first of all your in condo living this is what comes with it. Second if you live in a Yiddish neighborhood which is the best this you get noise late certain times of year building the sukkah at 1am is also normal. You need to swallow it or choose to move to a private home not in a Yiddish neighborhood.

I don't live in a Jewish neighborhood and I get block parties with blasting music all shabbos long in the summers that got until late at night.. deafening fireworks all summer but the absolute worst on new years starting from the evening until past midnight.

amother

Mulberry

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 8:43 am

I've been there and suffered through that. Not worth the stress, IMO. I moved my family away from it all and onto 4 private acres where no one will dictate how and when I can sleep. My husband and kids can walk 15 mins to shul but otherwise, we have no parties, noise, etc. Sooooo worth it. Spent the last 15 years in Brooklyn and between the non jews partying and the Jews, I was done.

notshanarishona

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 8:45 am

Kids playing outside Shabbos day is completely normal. You can’t lock kids in and that’s normal noise .
Making a party with live music late at night in a residential neighborhood is inconsiderate and nasty.
But it’s not about being right, it’s about living peacefully with neighbors and doing what you have to do.

amother

Cinnamon

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 9:07 am

Am I the only one who doesn't care about noise from parties? I'm happy others are enjoying themselves, especially on sukkos! I would never complain about a party, also because if one day I do have a party, the neighbors will be gracious since I never complained about them.

amother

Fern

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 9:40 am

I don't mind people having a party.

But does it really need to involve a microphone and 2 professional sizes speakers that can blast music you can hear 3 streets away? At 1am? Or 12am on a regular night?

If it's a guitar and 10 people singing, or people just having fun loudly it's one thing. But to blast extremely loud music through professional speakers with someone singing on a mic at 12am???

Does someone need to make a private backyard wedding and again, bring a full band, 4-5 huge speakers and go till 1am? It's completely inappropriate.

Wedding halls even in middle of no where in Israel all stop at the music at 11pm. That's the law. They respect other humans and their sleep.

amother

Jean

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 10:05 am

amother [ Fern ] wrote:

I'm Israel so it's different perhaps - but we have noise laws and the police do come out if people make noise past a certain hour.

No one knows who called. I called last night on someone here. My kids were waking up and it was disturbing us greatly.

The law here is noise until 11pm but for Chol Homoed it's extended until 12. And this went past 12.

I cannot believe that a jew called police on another jew! Omg! Did you ask a sheila before doing so? Did you try talking to the neighbors first?
Especially on sukkos when it's expected and understandable to have simchas bais hashoava.

amother

Jean

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 10:08 am

notshanarishona wrote:

There's "residential neighborhood" and there's "frum neighborhood on sukkos" where you choose to live and know that partying on certain days comes along with it. It's part of the package of living in a frum neighborhood or development. Living peacefully with other frum jews means that everyone is understanding that on certain days we party late at night.

amother

Junglegreen

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 10:15 am

amother [ Jean ] wrote:

My neighborhood changed over time. Now there are 3 shuls within a 2 block radius with huge huge sukkos and the music was blaring until 3:30am
Oh well. Imagine if it were block parties every weekend.

amother

Jean

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 10:20 am

amother [ Junglegreen ] wrote:

My neighborhood changed over time. Now there are 3 shuls within a 2 block radius with huge huge sukkos and the music was blaring until 3:30am
Oh well. Imagine if it were block parties every weekend.

You have the choice to move. A jew calling police on jews having simchas bais hashoava on sukkos night is unbelievably obnoxious.
And I grew up on a non jewish block next to a grocery store with music blaring till 1 AM every night and constant parties.

ora_43

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 10:39 am

amother [ Jean ] wrote:

It's expected and understandable until 12, when it becomes illegal.

I don't get why you're putting the burden on amother-fern to accept the "expectation" that everyone make whatever noise they want. Why shouldn't the burden be on people making parties to accept the expectation that they 1. inform their nearest neighbors beforehand, 2. time it to end by midnight? Those are hardly unreasonable rules.

amother

Jean

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 10:45 am

ora_43 wrote:

It's sukkos for god's sake! It doesn’t happen every night! It's part of the parcel of living with other jews. Talk to your neighbors before calling the police. No one wants a neighbor that calls the police on them for making noise on a night when we should be understanding. Forget about the part that it's assur to call the police on jews. (Barring pakuach nefesh).

amother

Honey

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 10:51 am

I really don't get this assumption that anything goes because it's Succos. I live in a quiet area so I don't have this problem personally, but I would be very upset if my neighbors were blaring music so late at night. You want to party in your succah? Fine! Enjoy! But there is absolutely no reason to crank the music up high to do so.

ora_43

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 11:09 am

amother [ Jean ] wrote:

Who gets to decide what the parcel of living with other frum Jews looks like? What makes "parties all night, every night, as long as it's sukkot" (or pesach, or channukah, or purim...) more legitimate than "parties are fine, but noise must end by midnight"?

I mean the poster you're responding to is from Israel, where the laws were made by Jewish elected leaders. If that doesn't represent community consensus, what does?

It is not clear-cut halacha that it's assur to call the police on Jews in America, let alone in Israel. If that's how you hold I respect that, but do realize that it's just one opinion. It's not like that poster's neighbors were going to be dragged off to the gulag, yeah? They'd get a warning.

ora_43

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 11:14 am

Anyway, OP - it sounds like you handled it as well as you could.

I would also be irritated. A party with 40 teens is a huge event and not the kind of thing anyone is expecting right under their window. The considerate thing would have been to at least warn you in advance, so that you could prepare. Or even find somewhere else to be.

It sounds like your neighbor didn't think of that, and then on some level realized when you called that she'd been inconsiderate. But got defensive instead of getting apologetic. If she's usually a nice person I'd try to just let it go.

amother

Poppy

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 11:14 am

I lived in a condo and had the sweetest neighbor above me they were quiet but a few times a year they had there children and grandchildren over and it was noisy she always warned me before it never once bothered me and yes it was extremely noisy but it was normal times and she was always quiet all other times. It was beautiful to see her nachas.
Purim night
One sukkos night
One Chanukah night
First Seder night

WhatFor

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 11:21 am

ora_43 wrote:

All of this.

I think some of these posters live either in insular communities with highly particular norms or some posters just don't value healthy sleep schedules and therefore don't respect that others do.

Also, it's kind of contradictory to say that it's totally acceptable but also don't call the police, right? Because if the behavior were totally acceptable, then the police when called would simply respond, "oh, they're banging drums at 1am? Why did you call us? Didn't you know that's totally acceptable?" It seems those saying it's acceptable but don't call the police are also acknowledging that to a large degree, it's actually not acceptable.

amother

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 11:53 am

Follow up:

By 11:50 my neighbors had moved the party indoors. It was still loud, but not jarringly, earsplittingly, drums-under-your-window loud. No longer afraid of the kids waking up, hubbs and I were able to fall asleep.

I texted my neighbor this morning thanking her for her considerateness in moving the party inside, apologized if we inconvenienced her, and expressed our hope that her teens had enjoyed the party. She responded kindly and politely. The end!

amother

Jean

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 11:57 am

WhatFor wrote:

We value healthy sleep schedules. We have healthy sleep schedules. We also value yom tov. And we know that yom tov is off schedule. A healthy person should be able to handle the yom tov sleep schedule.

amother

Jean

Sun, Sep 26 2021, 11:58 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Glad it worked out. They do seem like considerate neighbors.