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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
OP
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Sun, Sep 26 2021, 4:45 pm
I have the book Love Languages for Teenagers and just performed the test on my two teenagers.
One came out as expected, quality time and words of affirmation.
My other teen scored almost equal in every area.
Has anyone had this result?
He had 7 points for gifts and 5 for quality time, the other options were all 6 points.
I wonder what you would do. I also have other younger kids, so I cannot concentrate on my teens alone.
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behappy2
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Sun, Sep 26 2021, 5:30 pm
You give everyone what they need (or what you can). Why does everyone have to have one dominant love language?! That said I am not into the whole language thing. Communicate. Care. Love.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Sep 26 2021, 6:32 pm
behappy2 wrote: | You give everyone what they need (or what you can). Why does everyone have to have one dominant love language?! That said I am not into the whole language thing. Communicate. Care. Love. |
I agree in theory. In practice, with me and dh, I see how love language awareness helps our relationship.
My other teen is different. She craves quality time to the point of being suffocating. I tend to give her things and invest my time in that too. This doesnt seem to be so important to her.
I'd rather invest my limited resources into something that makes a difference than trying to please her in every way possible, which she may even perceive as smth negative (I.e. acts of service being perceived as undermining her independence).
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zaq
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Sun, Sep 26 2021, 10:40 pm
Like every other “system” of categorizing people, the love language system oversimplifies. No one is ever purely one thing or another. Most are a blend of two or more. Sometimes there will be one factor that dominates with one or more “minorities” while sometimes there will be a fairly even balance between two or more. It’s all good and there’s nothing wrong with a person whose answers are all over the map. If any, I’d think that such a person is likely to be more balanced and easy to please than someone whose answers are all one-sided.
Furthermore, the love languages thing addresses just one aspect of personality. It doesn’t define the entire person.
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