Memphis TN | Imamother

amother

Sun, Oct 03 2021, 8:50 pm

Anyone here live there or know about the community? I am desperate to love to a smaller community, one that doesnt have all the competition, the strange looks when using a "neb stroller" (basically a graco, chico or something that is not a bugaboo or other fancy name brand), the fashion show that shul has become...

I was reading about Memphis and wanted more information.

How frum is the community? we are modern yeshivish or something like that. Both of us have Degrees and work full time not in schools, husband does the daf, wasnt in kollel but tries to learn, I am strictly tzniyus, I cover my hair completely... I hate labels. We would say we are more open and accepting than some of the big yeshivish shuls in our current city...

What else can you tell me about the city? I looked up state licensing etc and our jobs might be more portable there than elsewhere... but want more info than what is on the websites I saw...

amother

Tealblue

Sun, Oct 03 2021, 10:44 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I am desperate to love to a smaller community, one that doesnt have all the competition, the strange looks when using a "neb stroller" (basically a graco, chico or something that is not a bugaboo or other fancy name brand), the fashion show that shul has become...

I was reading about Memphis and wanted more information.

How frum is the community? we are modern yeshivish or something like that. Both of us have Degrees and work full time not in schools, husband does the daf, wasnt in kollel but tries to learn, I am strictly tzniyus, I cover my hair completely... I hate labels. We would say we are more open and accepting than some of the big yeshivish shuls in our current city...

What else can you tell me about the city? I looked up state licensing etc and our jobs might be more portable there than elsewhere... but want more info than what is on the websites I saw...

OK. I don't live there but I know a bit about Memphis. I will try to answer your question. Memphis is a very small community and the vast majority- (other than a few families in Klei kodesh who are very frum but very open-minded, out-of-towny but I guess you could call yeshivish)- everyone else is much more to the left. The school is fully co-ed, for example. some of the rabbeim are more to the right but the general sense is a modox day school feel. (Maybe this is what you're looking for). Impossible or very difficult to keep cholov yisroel. No such thing as checked vegetables. Etc. I doubt there is a daf yomi shiur (but maybe there is, I'm not sure). I do think they have enough interest for daily minyanim.
The one family I know there (who are very frum, thought out, and also educated, very open minded, warm, friendly, etc) are strongly considering moving as their kids get older for schools more in line with them hashkafically.

It will CERTAINLY meet your criteria for being in a crowd where there is much more acceptance, no emphasis on labels, brands, fancy cars, decor, clothing, etc... Most people there would not recognize or care what brand stroller it is, to use your example.

All this being said: you sound like you are coming from a large "in town" community. Memphis is at the other end of the spectrum. There are lots of places in between. Places that come to mind are Minneapolis, St Louis, Detroit, Denver, Dallas, Atlanta, silver spring. (There are others too). As far as I know personally (or have heard from others), these communities are WAY more warm and welcoming, friendly, laid back, wholesome, less materialistic, etc than the large communities. They are places where every family matters and is not just a number where nobody would notice whether you exist or not. They also have much more infrastructure for a frum family (schools, food, shiurim, minyanim, etc)

These cities are wholesome places to raise a family with much less emphasis on gashmiyus. Of course there is always a spectrum of people but in general the pressures are very toned down. Also the kids have more opportunities to shine, because everyone is kind of relied upon and important in the community if that makes sense.

I hope this answers your question - probably more info than you were looking for. If you are very serious about this, it makes sense to invest the time in going to visit communities for shabbos to get a feel for what is a good fit for your family.

Hatzlacha rabba.

doctorima

Mon, Oct 04 2021, 10:20 am

Tealblue nailed my thoughts exactly. We've been in Memphis twice, only briefly and during the week. My impression based on DH's description of the shul is that there's out-of-town, and then there's really out-of-town - Memphis is the latter. If you've been traumatized by the judgmental rat race of in-town life, you may want to go to the other extreme, but I think you'll find Memphis too small and too MO and too remote for your liking.

Some of the other options mentioned like Atlanta, Dallas, Houston, Milwaukee, Phoenix, Minneapolis, Denver could get you away from what you're trying to avoid while still giving you almost all the amenities that you enjoy and appreciate about your current lifestyle and educational options.

amother

Quince

Mon, Oct 04 2021, 10:42 am

I have family in Memphis, but not with young kids so I may not have the latest scoop. Overall, it is a proudly modern orthodox community, although there is some variety. There a few shuls, including 2 that have been around forever, and a young israel and a chabad that are pretty established by now. There is (or at least was a few years ago) a kollel associated with a dati leumi yeshiva in Israel. There is a co-Ed day school with separate boys and girls divisions in the high school. Sometimes there will be a kosher restaurant inside the JCC (which is beautiful by the way), but they can’t seem to sustain anything long term. It’s very “out of town” in some ways, but not tiny at all.

amother

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 12:45 am

Thank you so much for all your thoughtful responses. I didnt realize the school was coed through middle school... that tells me a lot about the community.
Yes I currently live in a huge community and yes, I detest the rat race. But I fully understand living in a tiny community. I lived in one for years where a minyan on Shabbos wasnt always guaranteed.
So I am not going in blind or "just to escape". I do know small town living. I am a small town kind of gal.
I had liked the idea of Memphis due to low cost of living, easy to transfer our job licenses (random but TN seems easiest for both of us!), and I had thought a frum community I could be comfortable with. But maybe not...

If anyone has any additional information I would be happy to hear about it. But will keep looking at other communities mentioned above. Thank you!!

essie14

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 1:07 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What about Atlanta?
Small town feeling, larger than Memphis, Single s*x schools

Zehava

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 8:48 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Seems like you might be a tad too on the right for them. They’re a great community I love them but they call themselves “conservadox” for the most part.

amother

Tealblue

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 9:58 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Can you tell me more about atlanta?
What is it like?
What kind of schools, shuls etc?
Housing prices?
Other cost of living details?

I think Georgia wont be a good option in terms of jobs for our specific fields but I am open to looking in different places!

I have never been there, but I have heard a lot about the community. I have heard it's a really nice place to live. It is for the most part a Ner Yisrael community hashkafically, in terms of the leadership. I think it's a mix but "Open minded" friendly educated yeshivish out of towny with a lot of baalei teshuva and growing ppl. The Bais Yaakov high school is called Temima and from what I heard from friends who went there, they loved their school. There is a big focus on building self-esteem, relationship skills, Torah hashkafos, middos, etc. And the girls came out very strong in these areas from what I remember. There is a yeshiva / high school for boys called Ohr Yisrael not sure exactly what it's like but I think a small out of towny nice place with good boys probably also based on ner Yisrael hashkafos. There is a community kollel.

Housing prices are more pricey than some of the other communities mentioned. I think this is because it is very close to Emory University. Overall from what I understand a very safe and suburban neighborhood.