Losing friendships and social life because of vax status?

naomi2

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 3:31 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

But why should I, as a vaccinated person, be forced to curtail my activities in deference to unvaccinated, while unvaccinated are not obligated to do anything at all?

Why am I not entitled to attend a minyan that is labeled "vaccinated only, masks required" and be assured that people will comply?

Why should I not be entitled to tell unvaccinated people that I'm sorry that they can't attend my simcha? (If there's food, they're taking masks off, obviously.) Or, conversely, be forced not to have a simcha in deference to the unvaccinated. [If there were a simcha without a vaccine reqiurement, I would politely say mazel tov, I'm unable to attend. Why am I not entitled to equal courtesy on the other side?]

Once again, why are only the concerns of the unvaccinated deemed important?

BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF OTHER PEOPLE

Amalia

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 3:37 pm

naomi2 wrote:

BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF OTHER PEOPLE

Can you please answer the last question in SixOfWands’ post?

Last edited by Amalia on Wed, Oct 06 2021, 4:17 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Lavender

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 3:49 pm

Anyone who doesn't want to be friends with me based on vax status (which frankly is nobody's business) was never my friend to begin with. Or is suffering such tunnel vision that there is no room for friendship anyhow.

amother

Petunia

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 4:25 pm

amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:

To all the people who do not associate with unvaccinated for covid people, do you,

Ask anyone you are in contact with if they got the MMR shot? The chickenpox shot? The meningitis shot?

Actually, it is the unvaccinated person who won’t associate with me. I was going somewhere to pick something up and I offered the person a ride. When I asked if they are vaccinated, and they said that they were waiting for FDA approval (they are still not vaccinated) I said sure, I understand, you need to do what works for you and your family. I said that the car was a little close proximity for me, but I am happy to pick up the item for you and let’s rain check hanging out to Shabbos in the back yard. You are welcome to come to me or I can come to you, whatever is easiest. And if this week isn’t good, let me know if next week is better, I am open, whatever works for you.
I was blasted by her on Facebook and she (and her DH ) has snubbed me (and my DH) since.
I texted for Rosh Hashana/YK as well- crickets.

amother

Sand

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 4:37 pm

amother [ Petunia ] wrote:

Please don't give rides to people if it means that you're asking them about their vaccination status! Oh my. Just don't offer rides for now.

southernbubby

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 4:38 pm

Laiya wrote:

This situation is almost reminiscent of the stories of brothers killing brothers during the Russian Revolution. I could never understand how political beliefs could tear families apart like that.

It was the same during the measles outbreak but some people really had to protect themselves or their babies against measles and some people just couldn't get that.
My sister can't take risks due to some health issues but she keeps a distance from everyone. Sort of an equal opportunity snob.

I hope that the combination of prior infection plus the vaccine has made me immune because I usually don't ask people about their shots. Because I am BH always with grandchildren, I anyway come in contact with germs.

Laiya

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 4:38 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

As has been discussed repeatedly in other threads, why do you only care about vaccination status and not natural immunity?

Why are you not distinguishing between someone recently vaccinated and someone vaccinated more than 6 months ago when their protection has almost certainly waned?

Laiya

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 4:41 pm

southernbubby wrote:

I think the issues run much deeper now than the measles outbreak.

Iy"h you should have excellent protection and good health! Cheers

amother

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 4:53 pm

Op, I don't know why people are being mean to you. Maybe let them know you are vaxxed and willing to visit without your husband.[/quote]

Tried that- it was a no
In any case I’d want my kids to have friends to play with and since they are living with someone unvaccinated it’s a no for sure

Amalia

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 5:21 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Op, I don't know why people are being mean to you. Maybe let them know you are vaxxed and willing to visit without your husband.

Tried that- it was a no
In any case I’d want my kids to have friends to play with and since they are living with someone unvaccinated it’s a no for sure[/quote]

OP,

Did you ask your husband if he would be willing to get vaccinated so that you and your kids can get your social life back?

amother

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 6:33 pm

Amalia wrote:

OP,

Did you ask your husband if he would be willing to get vaccinated so that you and your kids can get your social life back?

Yes of course
He will not under any circumstance go against the psak of his Rav who told him not to. He is very aware of how sad me and my children are and feel the answer is to move

amother

Brass

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 6:37 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yes of course
He will not under any circumstance go against the psak of his Rav who told him not to. He is very aware of how sad me and my children are and feel the answer is to move

Honestly, I see his point. If everyone is this nasty about vaccines, who knows what they will be nasty about next? Nice people are nice even when they disagree with you, and will stay friends even when they don't like everything you do.

amother

Powderblue

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 6:38 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Curious if anyone else is being impacted in the same way.

Basically in our community everyone (eligible) is vaxxed, not everyone in my immediate family is.
We are not welcome to any of our pre-covid social groups get togethers, shabbos meals, parties etc. Outdoors and distanced is still ok but a hassle when you have a baby/small kids

I’m beside myself. I’m vaccinated myself but cannot dictate to other adults in family to do it so we are stuck.
Can anyone relate?

oy ptsd from the measles era for me
sounds so much the same

amother

Raspberry

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 6:49 pm

heidi wrote:

In fact I'm boycotting a relative's simcha tomorrow bcz neither she nor her husband are vaccinated.

Why are you going to simchas? Why aren’t you staying home to reduce the spread of Covid? I’m going to assume you have heard by now that vaccination doesn’t entirely prevent you from getting or spreading the virus so what gives you the right to be going anywhere near people? Yes, you’re taking all the necessary precautions like masking, social distancing and perhaps regular testing, but that’s not fool proof at all and you know that. If you were to catch Covid without knowing it and caused even one person to die, how could you live with yourself?

Let me guess. Because you still have a life to live. Because you can’t be locked in your house forever. Because you still have things to do, places to go and people to see. Right?

You can stop boycotting people and places. If you really aim to save lives you would not be justifying your need to be out and about. Instead you would be doing exactly what you are angry at others for not doing: completely staying away from people. Period.

SixOfWands

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 6:52 pm

Laiya wrote:

Why do you feel that you have the right to demand that I be in close proximity with anyone I choose not to be in close proximity with? Why do you believe that non-vaxers are the only ones with rights?

amother

Sand

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 6:56 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

Who's forcing you to be in close proximity with anyone? It's your choice. No one is forcing you to be near people you don't want to.

gold21

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 6:59 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yes of course
He will not under any circumstance go against the psak of his Rav who told him not to. He is very aware of how sad me and my children are and feel the answer is to move

I agree with your husband. I think you guys should move. Clearly his Rav does not live in your neighborhood. Otherwise, there would be other people in town who would be in the same position your husband is in. And that isn't the case. And your husband is clearly a close Talmid of his Rav and trusts him implicitly. Therefore, I wonder if you could move somewhere where your husband could have a Rav living locally. It's better not to be the odd one out.

And also... did you guys have covid already? Do you have antibodies? Cuz if you have antibodies and are anyway protected, it may be nice to live among more educated people who understand the science. It just may be nicer. That's my personal feeling on the matter.

Last edited by gold21 on Wed, Oct 06 2021, 7:09 pm; edited 2 times in total

amother

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 7:06 pm

gold21 wrote:

You are right, it’s a good point however I’m not in a place where I feel like I could make Aaliyah
It really has to be a passion and dream and I’m not there

gold21

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 7:08 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You are right, it’s a good point however I’m not in a place where I feel like I could make Aaliyah
It really has to be a passion and dream and I’m not there

Perhaps you can move somewhere that's not in Israel, but where your husband has a local Rav he is comfortable with. It can be a different Rav than this Rav he's been close to until now.