I did IVF - AMA | Imamother

amother

Cappuccino

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 12:37 am

amother [ Clover ] wrote:

When you say a cycle costed you 30k, how long does a cycle last from beginning to end?

There are different parts. The retrieval process is about 10 days of injection (each day is a couple hundred dollars worth) after which they take out the eggs. That is the most financial taxing time. The next month is the earliest you can transfer the embryo into the woman. Some people need more time or choose to do it at a later date. If there are no good embryos you need to do the retrieval all over again (at least 15k).

amother

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 12:41 am

SafeAtLast wrote:

What does IVF stand for?
What exactly is the process and the science behind the procedure?
Is there any part of it that can sometimes be halachically problematic?

In-Vitro-Fertilization
Look at my previous post. The idea in a nutshell is maturing multiple eggs, removing them, obtaining sperm (method depends on diagnosis), and combining the two in a lab to fertilize the eggs.
Ready embryo is then transferred back into the woman in hopes of it implanting.
Here and there some things can be problematic but generally couples don’t have a hard time. Some things are more difficult and therefore oftentimes a couple would only do if they don’t have any children, but might not get a go-ahead for if they have children (sometimes both genders).

amother

Arcticblue

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 12:46 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What issue would this be helpful for?
If the women cannot produce mature eggs on her own? If the sperm quality is poor? If the sperm does not attach to the egg on its own? All of the above?

Last edited by amother on Mon, Dec 20 2021, 3:13 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 12:50 am

SafeAtLast wrote:

What issue would this be helpful for?
If the women cannot produce mature eggs on her own? If the sperm quality is poor? If the sperm does not attach to the egg on its own? All of the above?

All of the above, and more, like very low sperm counts. Many of these issues can utilize other treatments, depending on severity. Oftentimes a couple will start with less invasive treatments, and end up with IVF. Since it’s more invasive, the chances of success are higher. Some diagnoses do not have the option of less invasive treatments. And IVF isn’t even an option for some people.

amother

Tulip

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 12:57 am

I just finished a cycle of ivf in Israel where I will be covered by insurance for the first two babies imh ..I'm going to move back to america eventually and may need to use the organizations to help pay for it my question is did you hear of anyone who was only able to conceive through ivf eventually conceive naturally I would love a big family but the stress and cost of it is Soo crazy I just want to be with my husband and boom a baby comes lol how crazy awesome is that?

Last edited by amother on Thu, Oct 07 2021, 1:46 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 1:00 am

saybesser wrote:

Just a heads-up, you don’t get financial assistance from organizations if you have children. I don’t expect them to finance us when there are so many couples who are trying for 1…

And yes, miracles like this do happen. I know personally. They don’t happen often, which is why we call them miracles.

ETA:
And best of luck with your cycle!

amother

Tulip

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 1:51 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Oh didn't even think about that about the organizations....I don't think it's a miracle if it happens that I get preggo naturally same way hashem made me have a hard time conceiving he can make it easier in a blink of an eye

amother

Gladiolus

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 2:04 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Approximately a month or so.

A month is very much best case scenario that assumes no priming and a fresh transfer. For a lot of people, a full cycle takes longer than a month. If you’re doing any sort of suppression / priming before retrieval, you need to start the cycle before. If you can’t do a fresh transfer (for example if you want to genetically test embryos before transfer, or are at risk of OHSS, etc), then you have to wait until the following cycle for a transfer. So even with no issues / problems, a standard cycle at my clinic ends up being more like 3-4 months.

amother

Gladiolus

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 2:06 am

amother [ White ] wrote:

I'm expecting my first and my older sibling has been waiting for a couple of years already. What do you think is the most thoughtful sensitive way to tell them?

I strongly prefer text so that my face and voice don’t give away that my excitement for others is also mixed with some sadness about my own situation.

amother

Tulip

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 2:12 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Just a PSA if anyone is starting to see a doctor regarding infertility please get your husband tested right away too.. I went to doctors and did clomid,iuis and wasted two years because they automatically figure it's a problem with the woman

amother

Arcticblue

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 2:32 am

amother [ Tulip ] wrote:

The blink of an eye is a miracle too.

Last edited by amother on Mon, Dec 20 2021, 3:11 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Coffee

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 2:51 am

Op, I might have to do ivf..... I’ll have a definite answer in a couple of weeks when my blood results come back.. in the event that I do need to do it I’m asking this question because I’m a NERVOUS WRECK!!!! At retrieval, when they sedated you, were you put on monitors?

amother

White

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 7:36 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Tell them before you tell others (if it’s not too late). Chances are they’ll appreciate you for respecting their dignity and not having to find out from others. Sooner or later they’ll find out, so you may as well do it early enough before they have a chance of finding out - it happens so easily.

It depends what type of person she is. Whether she’s an in-person type, phone, etc.
Personally I’d prefer the phone. It’s more respectful than a text or email, yet it’s not face to face so they don’t feel put on the spot.
It’s normal for her to feel sad. It doesn’t mean she’s not happy for you. She can feel both at once.

Since you’re asking, I’m assuming you’re a sensitive person. So I don’t need to say much about not complaining about pregnancy to her / around her (not to say you can’t mention it - but there’s a difference between speaking about facts vs complaining).

Thank you OP. I really appreciate your response (and the others' responses too).

amother

Marigold

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 7:51 am

amother [ Tulip ] wrote:

Yes and no. My experience was they did not find anything wrong with me so we did an IUI. As part of the IUI, they found out that my husband had severe MF, so I immediately went to IVF. So, we found out that in the beginning (a few months in). I will agree with you that REs are OBGYNs and they are fixated on the problem being with the woman. After many, many years, many doctors, and many, many failed IVFs (no blasts), I finally had a doctor (who wasn't a top doctor and was the only one willing to treat me at this point) recommend TESE to improve sperm quality. The other doctors just insisted that IVF + ICSI solves MF and it must be my eggs (even when I was relatively young). BH Chasdei Hashem I am now pregnant. So I agree with you that they automatically assume that the problem is with the women, but at least mine tested the man early as part of a procedure.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 8:52 am

amother [ Tulip ] wrote:

the same thing happend to me then we found out he had a low sperm count he had an operation
and did iui and got pregnant then a year later I got pregnant with no help and had twins

amother

Marigold

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 8:54 am

amother [ Violet ] wrote:

Do you have insurance ? What did they cover?

I just found out my insurance covers up to $30K, but from the #s here, seems like that would only be one cycle, if we get to that point (still on meds + timed intercourse, davening we won't have to go further).

Do you live in a state with a mandate? I first exhausted my work insurance, then bought insurance from the exchange (exhausted that coverage), repeat for different insurances on the exchange until exhausted. The premiums are expensive, but worth it if you do multiple cycles of IVF. Some centers have discounts if you have a lower income. Some centers have shared risk, which may not be worth it if IVf works for you. But if you are the wrong side of percentages, it can be a huge cost savings. There are ways to get somewhat cheaper drugs if you shop around. There are centers that are cheaper also. I was lucky, bH and rarely paid sticker price for a cycle, but there were times when I did (though probably about 22,000 including meds). Honestly, I did it over many, many, many years. I did more cycles during years when I had insurance. I was also lucky because BH I have a good job, but the only way I afford it was barely spending on anything else (living in a super cheap apartment, spending very little on food or clothes (if any), no self care, etc.) My income also increased over hte years. We joked it was our tuition payments if we had a normal sized family (though I would rather pay tuition). Also insurance pays less per cycle than self pay, because they have discounts, so 30K may cover more cycles.