Were you nidda on wedding night?

amother

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 11:42 pm

I was nidda and was overall a nice experience. Being that I'm Chassidish and went with the beshow system, it was alot more special the first time together when we actually felt like we knew each other and bonded for a few days.

How was it for you?
I know some kallahs are devastated if it happens to them.

amother

Lightgray

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 11:45 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I think they are more afraid of everyone knowing.

Last edited by amother on Mon, Dec 20 2021, 3:16 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 11:46 pm

amother [ Bone ] wrote:

no bh!! I took BC and aygestin bc I was scared of a chupas nidda

I also did, but apparently it failed.

amother

Hotpink

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 11:47 pm

What did you do by chuppa and mitzvah tantz?
I don't think I'd be able to handle being nidda and not being able to touch the first night. Even if it's awkward and we barely know each other's. We at least got to touch before being nidda for afew weeks.

iammom

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 11:47 pm

How did you work around the usual chassidish minhag of holding hands after the chuppah? Isn’t that just announcing to everyone you had a chuppas niddah?

amother

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 11:49 pm

SafeAtLast wrote:

I think they are more afraid of everyone knowing.

Makes sense. I remember exactly who came nosying in the hallway when we got ready to come in for dancing. We obviously weren't holding hands.

amother

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 11:51 pm

amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:

Mitzvah tantz ended without us dancing together. I would've loved to experience that!

honeymoon

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 11:52 pm

I wasn't but a friend was. It isn't pleasant for the couple to have all the guests noticing and discussing it. And the whole yichud thing afterwards is more than a minor inconvenience.

amother

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 11:53 pm

amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:

The first mikvah night at end of sheva brachos was so awesome, we would never have had that the first night.

amother

Lightgray

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 11:53 pm

Wasn't Niddah, but in Skver you don't hold hands after the chuppah and don't dance mitzvah tantz holding on, so not missing out much over there.

Last edited by amother on Mon, Dec 20 2021, 3:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Lightgray

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 11:54 pm

OP
What did you do about yichud the first week?

Last edited by amother on Mon, Dec 20 2021, 3:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 11:55 pm

I did miss out on pictures tho! Photographer was trying to position us in a way that didn't look too awkward, like dh standing behind or some from the mirror, but neh..

amother

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 11:57 pm

SafeAtLast wrote:

OP
What did you do about yichud the first week?

Had a little girl sleep by us on a cot in the dining room Laugh

amother

Wed, Oct 06 2021, 11:59 pm

honeymoon wrote:

I wasn't but a friend was. It isn't pleasant for the couple to have all the guests noticing and discussing it. And the whole yichud thing afterwards is more than a minor inconvenience.

I was cool about it. My mother was thinking to move up the date but I wasn't interested in making a matsev..

amother

Honeydew

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 12:15 am

I was and it was beyond our control--we calculated the dates and it should've been fine, but Hashem had other plans--one cycle came early, the next came late and yea it was disappointing, but I think Hashem knew that I needed more time to get to know and live with a male first before being intimate the first time (classic shidduch dating). Our accommodations were to sleep at someone's house with kids--someone who knew and would be discreet--with the door unlocked. My husband wasn't all into the "touchy" intimate pictures anyway so they likely wouldn't have happened even if I wasn't a niddah. In all honesty most of our intimate moments weren't great for the first few months, so not sure it would've made a difference but things got better as we learned more.

flowerpower

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 12:32 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Love your attitude!!!

amother

Catmint

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 12:35 am

I also had a Chuppas Niddah. I might have been happier without it, but it wasn't too bad. Definitely has some advantages.

amother

Springgreen

Thu, Oct 07 2021, 1:09 am

It was devastating. Of course, life goes on and you move on. But, at the time, it was devastating, embarrassing and very uncomfortable