I spoil my kids AMA

amother

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 7:57 pm

I buy them toys for cleaning up instead of confiscating toys if they don't clean up. I don't think I make them do anything. They leave their stuff around and I clean up. I let them wear whatever they want ,(ok they aren't teens yet) they don't have jobs. Supper is whatever they want (as long as it doesn't take too long to make). Ask away. But no guarantees that I will answer everything.

TravelHearter

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 7:59 pm

Are they appreciative
Do they demand things

Giving kids what they want for dinner isn’t necessarily spoiling

amother

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 8:03 pm

TravelHearter wrote:

Are they appreciative
Do they demand things

Giving kids what they want for dinner isn’t necessarily spoiling

They are definitely excited when they get things. Appreciative? Kids?! Ok They could be sometimes.

Yes they do demand things but if it's not reasonable I won't get it. Which kids don't demand things?!

amother

Wheat

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 8:04 pm

I have one kid who literally wants “treats” instead of food. Would you recommend I give her candy and ice cream for dinner if that’s what she asks for? She’s 4.

amother

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 8:08 pm

amother [ Wheat ] wrote:

I have one kid who literally wants “treats” instead of food. Would you recommend I give her candy and ice cream for dinner if that’s what she asks for? She’s 4.

Depends. If you don't give her candies will she eat dirt? Because candy is definitely better.

Also a little candy never hurt anyone. Ice cream has lots of nutrients.

amother

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 8:09 pm

hodeez wrote:

Why do you parent that way?

Very simple. It's easy. Kids are happy. Mom is happy. Life is hard enough why makes it harder for them.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 8:13 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Very simple. It's easy. Kids are happy. Mom is happy. Life is hard enough why makes it harder for them.

OMG!! My parenting philosophy exactly !!! Glad to see there is someone else like me out there. My theory is that life is so hard , why make it harder. And nobody ever gets everything they want anyway. There’s always more to want. So I pretty much get them everything they want as long as I can afford it and there’s no good reason not to. And guess what? They are great kids! They are happy and generous and kind and thoughtful. So either I’m just lucky or I’m doing something right. 🤷‍♀️

amother

Aqua

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 8:20 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My children don't ask for or demand things. I have one child that does have for cookies and foods but my others don't ask even when I tell them I want to buy them something. And they have never demanded anything BH. So not all kids do, but probably children are more like their parents personalities.

What ways do your children show you that they care about you? Is it also through buying you things or other ways?

amother

Yellow

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 8:20 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Let’s say they don’t wanna go to school often do u let them stay home with u? What about bedtime- can they stay up till whenever they want and do you let them sleep in your room?

amother

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 8:26 pm

amother [ Aqua ] wrote:

They give hugs, kisses, make me a project. One of my kids bought the family something cool from a trip to show he thought about us. They can surprise me and clean up if they know I'm feeling overwhelmed by the housework.

amother

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 8:32 pm

amother [ Yellow ] wrote:

Let’s say they don’t wanna go to school often do u let them stay home with u? What about bedtime- can they stay up till whenever they want and do you let them sleep in your room?

Really depends. If they are having issues in school I don't push them to go to school. I try to solve the problem. Bedtime I try to reinforce in the winter Bec of school. I don't fight though. If they can't fall asleep I tell them to read and do light activity or walk around and go back to bed. If they wake up in middle of the night they know they can come to our room. My biggest threat if they don't want to get ready for bed is that Mommy is going to bed and they will have to get themselves to sleep all on their own. Have never followed through though but it seems to work Smile

amother

Turquoise

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 8:37 pm

Poor future imamother wives that will be posting their shalom bayis issues here cuz they are married to your boys becuase some lazy mom couldnt properly educate or discipline her kids and raised some lazy boys that think the wives do it all and have zero appreciation to their womens efforts and dont pitch in at all.
Sorry to be rude but thats the truth, im not predicting its a fact and youre not the only one, its a mistake many mothers are making.

amother

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 8:40 pm

amother [ Turquoise ] wrote:

Hopefully not. I teach and model empathy and caring.

amother

Turquoise

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 8:48 pm

They leave them stuff around and I clean up?
Supper is whatever they want?
Why would you think their wives wont suffer?

amother

Pistachio

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 8:51 pm

How is it easy to do everything yourself? I have a lot on my plate cleaning up toys would push me over my limit. I don’t have time to whip up what everyone desires, I make what’s easiest to me. Seems like a rough life not an easy one. How do they handle school? How do they handle being told no by teachers and having to follow schools rules?

amother

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 8:54 pm

amother [ Pistachio ] wrote:

Actually it's more exhausting for me to discipline them.

And they are actually angels in school. And at home (mostly).

amother

Turquoise

Sun, Oct 10 2021, 8:54 pm

Op im not trying to be hard on you, you need to think about this. It may be the easiest way for you now but it will do a lot of damage.
I spoil my kids but I really spoil them, I give them lots of love and attention and the main one is TIME!
They are happy and dont have expectations. They have chores and responsibilities because im preparing them for life. I dont help them get out of their challenges, I support them through it.
My children choose a supper one night a year and thats on their birthday. Supper each night has a protien, carb and vegetable not whatever they want because im looking to raise healthy children.
These are some of the ways I spoil them.
Your way seems very damaging to me.